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Thread: Not having children by choice?

  1. #81
    Wishing for spring Mellon's Avatar
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    As some of you know, I just got out of a four year relationship. From about 6 months on in the relationship my ex's grandfather kept asking when we were going to start our family & give him the great-grandson that he wanted to have before he died. My ex is the last to have the family name, and at the rate he's going, his grandfather may never meet that great-grandson. My response to grampa was always "Go talk to T, it's his boys that make that decision!"

    I've always wanted children, I've always wanted to be a wife & a mother - I'm into the traditional roles. Does that make someone else wrong for not wanting the same thing? NOPE! To each his own, that's what I say!

    Buffy: What is this?
    Willow: A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle, too. ("Gingerbread")

    Xander: Damn it! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey! ("Buffy vs. Dracula")

  2. #82
    FORT Newbie
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClosetNerd View Post
    However, when she wanted to discuss the possibility of getting her tubes tied with her doctor.. They flat out refused to even discuss it with her, telling her that it is not their policy to perform that procedure: unless she is a minimum of 35 years old, or has had 2 children already. For a country that is overpopulated with unwanted children as it is, they are sure keen on making sure you have every opportunity to add to the problem.
    Your sister is trying to do the right thing. Most people, in her, situations have kids anyway. No, not planned. Too bad the doctor would not help her.

    It took me three tries to get a vasectomy. The first two doctors refused me because of my age. On the last try, I just lied and told the councilor that I already had a daughter whom was 4, or something like that.

    I have not seen a doctor since I had my vasectomy. I will likely never see one for the rest of my life. Well, not a 'Western' doctor. I will stick with eastern medicine. I see no point it going trying to get help from anyone whom has a vested interest in making sure I stay sick!

  3. #83
    Anarchist AJane's Avatar
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    I had my tubes tied (at age 37, after two kids). I had to have a counselling session with the resident at the hospital even before they booked my surgery. She told me that quite a few women end up regretting having the procedure afterwards, so they try to make very, VERY sure that the woman is absolutely positive she doesn't want any more kids, or any children period. Reversal of the procedure is apparently very painful surgery, and there is no guarantee it will work. So the reluctance to perform tubals, particularly on young women, is really just the physician looking out for the best interests of the patient. I can imagine it's frustrating for a woman who is childless and wishes to remain so, but bear in mind it's not because doctors want to overpopulate the earth.
    All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve.~ Thursday Next
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  4. #84
    Caged Mah Jongg Solitaire Champion Maveno's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeekingZen View Post
    I have not seen a doctor since I had my vasectomy. I will likely never see one for the rest of my life. Well, not a 'Western' doctor. I will stick with eastern medicine. I see no point it going trying to get help from anyone whom has a vested interest in making sure I stay sick!
    I totally agree with you SeekingZen.
    I also believe that dentists do things in my mouth to have me keep coming back.
    Anyway.. to the Fort!

    AJane, I had no idea that a hysterectomy is reversible!
    All things beautiful do not have to be full of color to be noticed; in
    life that which is unnoticed has the most power.

  5. #85
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    No kids, no regrets. I am "Uncle Newf" to my ex-wife's twins, and that gives me more than enough contact with kids.
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

  6. #86
    clap clap clap sleepysluggo's Avatar
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    I don't ever want children. My husband doesn't want children either. In fact, he intends on getting a vasectomy when it's financially feasible.

  7. #87
    A Meat Loaf Aday... ClosetNerd's Avatar
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    Oh I know what you mean. I don't think Doctors have a burning desire to make the world as populates as possible *not really anyway* I wonder tho, other than the age factor and if the woman has any children already... what else is a factor in deciding who gets the procedure and who doesn't. My sister is both Manic depressive and BiPolar with a violent hair trigger temper. We all fear for the day she gets accidentally pregnent
    ~There is no way to Happiness. Happiness is the way.~

  8. #88
    Wait, what? ArchieComic Fan's Avatar
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    I see nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids. In fact, I think it's admirable that people that don't want them don't have them just because they feel pressured. I wouldn't want anyone to wind up resenting their own children. Not everyone is parent material and mature people recognize that in themselves.

    On the flip side, try being me and only having one child. Boy did I get a lot of grief for that. "Don't you want to have more?" "Don't you want your son to have siblings?" "Mom, I don't like being an only child" "Why didn't you have more?" Sometimes having just one is as bad as not having any at all in some people's eyes.

  9. #89
    Miz Smarty Britches queenb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClosetNerd View Post
    * I wonder tho, other than the age factor and if the woman has any children already... what else is a factor in deciding who gets the procedure and who doesn't.
    I didn't have any trouble at all getting my ob/gyn to do mine; I go to an all-female doctor clinic, and it's just so much better in my opinion. I had it done when I was 31, and feel like I've never made a better decision.
    I'm 45 now, and still waiting to be sorry I didn't have any and all that stuff you get told when you don't reproduce during your 20's and 30's
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  10. #90
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    If you want kids fine. but I don't -- I'm gay. I'll never understand the gay people who want kids either? I know it's not a choice to be gay, but it is a choice to have the kids, personally I think more cats need to be adopted into loving homes......
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

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