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Thread: Not having children by choice?

  1. #21
    Premium Member Yeti Long Shot: Porpoheus Champion
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    Quote Originally Posted by chirospasm
    While being single takes this pressure off of me, I agree with everyone who has said people need to learn to just butt out. I've known people who were trying desperately to get pregnant, and even for them the last thing they want to hear is "when are you going to have a baby?"

    It is one of if not the most important decision in your life, and no one has the right to question your decision.

    Personally, I'll most likely be adopting, and people even question that decision. For gosh sakes, people, BUTT OUT!

    Okay, I'm done ranting!

    Hey, Chiro - I've got a couple of kids who need a new home. Oh wait - you're marriage material for them...never mind....

  2. #22
    Swinging in the hammock Ilikai's Avatar
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    I don't have kids, never did want the responsibility of them cause I have a hard time just raising my dogs. That and I didn't get married till I was 42 and my wife is older than me, making the idea of having a kid wanting to go to college when I am 60 and all I want to do then is retire and chase my wife naked around the house.
    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" -- Steve Parker

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  3. #23
    Allez les Bleus! Zaius's Avatar
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    I don't understand what's selfish about not wanting to have children. Some people are "shocked" by a decision you never even made nor had to make? Baffling...

    The only time a non-event (or inaction) should ever be brought up is when you have failed to meet up to some responsibility as a result of your inaction. You don't have a responsibility to anyone to have children, and so I don't even see why the inaction is even brought up. It's just out of left field. Weird...
    Last edited by Zaius; 12-14-2003 at 05:46 PM.
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  4. #24
    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    I heard the same crap when I was married...my in-laws were constantly asking when we would have children. It drove me nuts. Even now that I'm single again I still get asked! My best friend has been badgering me for years, I need to "find a husband so I can hurry up and have kids!" What?!

    At work the other day someone asked me if I decorated my home for Christmas "since I had no children"...since when is that a prerequisite for putting up a Christmas tree? When I said yes, I do decorate, I got the most pitiful look...some people are just unbelievable!

  5. #25
    Adelitas Way 7.14.09 libra1022's Avatar
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    I think my family started coming to the realization that children weren't going to be a part of my life a couple of years ago when I started sending Mother's Day cards with my cats paw prints and names on them as signatures to their grandmother and great-grandmother. My mom is still a bit disappointed, she always wanted to have a family of 5-6 kids, alas she had only me, so she was sort of relying on me to fulfill her dreams of the large family. This holiday I think she's coming more and more to grips with it as she's already proudly announced to me that she's gotten her grand-kitties Christmas presents.

    I've known since I was a teenager that I didn't want children, even during the 8 years I was married I got very little pressure to start up a family (guess cause everyone knew that things were rocky enough and kids wouldn't help the situation). Lots of questions, but not any real pressure other than the talks with my mother...most of our friends knew that our lives just weren't suited for a family so they didn't even ask. I've heard the selfish thing before, but I'm far from!! I realize that I don't have any desire to be a mother, it would be worse to me to pretend and be something I'm not to please the rest of the world. A babysitter, an "aunt", whatever you want to call me for my friends' kids that's fine...I spoil them rotten and treat them very well with no problem whatsoever, but I can go back to my life at the end of the day knowing that's definitely not a good full time thing for me.

    Be strong and proud Marley, there's others of us out there that are in the same boat and understand.

  6. #26
    Peeking In Duxxy's Avatar
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    ohhhhhhhhhhh waywyrd that brings up a special little pet peeve of mine...
    If you don't have children you don't get the same considerations as those who do. Before I had my daughter I was always asked to stay late at work.. you know.. because I had no one to go home to. I was asked to work the crappy shifts .. same reason. One Christmas I was even scheduled to work Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing day.. because I had no child and the day wasn't really that important to me anyway.. was it?
    It's like you get the shaft because you don't have children.
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

  7. #27
    Adelitas Way 7.14.09 libra1022's Avatar
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    Shhhhh duxxy I try to ignore that stuff or I REALLY get going!! I'm extremely lucky where I work now that I only have one person that works for me with kids (the others have grown up kids so it's not bad at all and they don't ask for any special time because of them unless it's a wedding or something). In the past though I've been on the bad side of that stick more than I care to think about and it gets me all fired up each and every time!

  8. #28
    Mmmmm.. Nice... Terena79's Avatar
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    I don't want to have children, but I'm worried over the studies that show that women who do not have children substantially increase their risk of cancer. I've read that the cancer rate is higher these days because women are having more periods due to not having children or as many children and also by not breastfeeding. Has anyone else read this and does it worry anyone else?
    "You better shut your mouth when you're talkin' to me!"

  9. #29
    Peeking In Duxxy's Avatar
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    I look at it this way Terena, we are all going to die. Not today or tomorrow, but at the end of it all we are going to move on to that 'restful place'.
    When I go, I'm going to be fat and happy, a drink in one hand and a cheeseburger in the other.
    If you are at risk there are things you can do to minimize it...
    Exercise, eat well, don't have unprotected sex and the rest is up to fate.
    Until the time comes my motto is "don't borrow trouble"
    Live well, Die happy.
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

  10. #30
    JR.
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    Duxxy, I've had bosses that tried to pull that stuff with me, and it really set me off. I simply told them that it wasn't my fault that they had kids. Their kids, their responsibility.

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