It's A Girl!
Dagwood, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby girl, and just look- isn't she just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby girl will weigh about 10 lbs, 8 oz and have brown hair and green eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!
Whoah! Give us a moment to get used to the idea of you and Pee Wee Herman in bed, then schedule us for some electro-shock therapy to help erase the mental image.
Had to try for a different daddy just to see what would happen:
Oh please girlfriend, how could you? Have you no standards? Have you lost your mind? Have you had second thoughts, feelings of shame, or an STD test?
I think I am going to quit before I find someone really awful.