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Thread: Messed-up things found on the web

  1. #801
    A Meat Loaf Aday... ClosetNerd's Avatar
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    Awww dangit! I thought it was new
    ~There is no way to Happiness. Happiness is the way.~

  2. #802
    Livin' the life Dinahann's Avatar
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    http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/

    Foretells the way you'll die. This may have been posted before, but my brother just sent it to me and I'd not seen it.

    What a wonderful way to die :
    While scarfing down lunch, a large chunk of your meal becomes enlodged in your throat, and you choke to death.
    Maybe I will go on that diet.
    Well I was born in a small town
    And I can breathe in a small town
    Gonna die in this small town
    And that's prob'ly where they'll bury me

  3. #803
    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    Funny site, Dinahann...here's how I'm supposed to kick the bucket:

    You humiliate a magician at a party by divulging a few of his secrets. He returns the favor by actually sawing you in half.
    Sounds like something I'd do.
    Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted - John Lennon

  4. #804
    Livin' the life Dinahann's Avatar
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    I don't know if this qualifies, but I visit this site every week and try my hand at the top 10.

    http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/contest/

    Top Ten Signs Osama bin Laden Wants a Truce With the U.S.

    10. His videotaped messages are now accompanied by flowers and a box of chocolates
    Steve W., Reading, PA

    9. He's tired of missing yet another season of "American Idol"
    Matty S., New Haven, CT

    8. Admitted he became a terrorist just to impress Jodie Foster
    Bruce A., Fairfax Station, VA

    7. Being snubbed from Elton John's wedding was the last straw
    Marc B., Palm Desert, CA

    6. Rent-controlled cave just went condo
    Dick B., Boston, MA

    5. His latest audio tape warns of upcoming "Big Mac Attack"
    Jim W., Hopkins, SC

    4. Instead of calling Bush the "Evil Infidel," now calls him "My Wacky American Friend"
    KC C., Bemidji, MN

    3. Tired of spending all his time with camels, if you know what I mean

    Mark I., Santa Rosa, CA

    2. Newest phrase during videotaped rants: "Mild discomfort to America!"
    Matt B., Los Angeles, CA

    1. Sent a personal message to President Bush: "I wish I could quit you."
    Mike N., Arcola, IL

    I always get a kick out of these.
    Well I was born in a small town
    And I can breathe in a small town
    Gonna die in this small town
    And that's prob'ly where they'll bury me

  5. #805
    Shark Week! dagwood's Avatar
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    "An ill-tempered waiter, dissatisfied with your gratuity, beats you to death with a pepper mill."

    Bwahahaha!!

  6. #806
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    OK

    A carbon monoxide leak in your home kills you peacefully in your sleep.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  7. #807
    Premium Member canuckinchile's Avatar
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    Better than being killed by a swarm of bees. Youch! What did I do to deserve that?

  8. #808
    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    From Dinahann's site, the death psychic predicts :
    During a severe storm, a tree falls onto your house, crushing and killing you.
    Why couldn't I get some wildly outlandish, completely unbelievable prediction? Mine has to be the one that sounds like it could actually happen!
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

  9. #809
    FORT Fogey Glitternerfball's Avatar
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    A deranged lunatic splashes you in the face with a bucket full of hydrofluoric acid, immediately melting the flesh from your skull..
    I live in NYC

    And I had a friend in highschool that had another kid walk up and poke her with a hypodermic needle

    This could, in theory, happen!!

    (Not to worried about it though)

  10. #810
    RESIDENT JEDI MASTER Stargazer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lildago View Post

    Why couldn't I get some wildly outlandish, completely unbelievable prediction? Mine has to be the one that sounds like it could actually happen!
    I know!! I was expecting wild and crazy and instead get depressing. Don't worry. I won't draw a warm bath over it.

    Suffering with general depression, you slit your wrists while sitting in a warm bath. You die from rapid blood loss.
    "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda

    "I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson

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