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Thread: Stupid Criminals are Funny!

  1. #1
    FORT Fogey MollyRose's Avatar
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    Stupid Criminals are Funny!

    I don't know if these are true or not, but I kind of hope so (most of them):


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    TOP 10 STUPIDEST PEOPLE EVER AWARDS

    10. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    9. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    8. An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    7. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter,and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, Which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?

    6. A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F***-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him.The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a F***-up!"

    5. Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the
    liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    4. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    3. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
    man, frustrated, walked away.

    2. Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.

    And now...

    First Place - The WINNER

    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his iIntended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, the would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked......
    Last edited by John; 11-27-2003 at 08:43 PM.

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
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    I bet they are true. Either way, they're so funny!

    (BTW, Re: #2, where I used to work, the technicians had that 1-800 # how is my driving? Well, the guy hit a car and kept going. He was later charged. I asked if R. had the number of the truck written down, but was told no, he swiped two cars and hit the third so hard that the license plate fell and was left there. These things can happen)!
    Last edited by eldee; 10-30-2003 at 09:54 AM.

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    Ready? haejin's Avatar
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    8. An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
    Oh my god.... He's insane....

  4. #4
    Rab
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    Quote Originally Posted by MollyRose

    6. A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F***-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him.The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a Fuck-up!"
    That is the BEST. I love it!
    Last edited by John; 01-28-2004 at 08:48 AM.

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    Don't Panic senrik's Avatar
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    4. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
    This one i doubt..... no one in NY is quite so polite
    "The purpose of the new capitalism is to shoot the wounded." ~ Andy Grove, Chairman, Intel Corporation

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    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
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    2. Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested

    I saw this on one of those "Caught on Video" shows! The ATM camera showed the whole thing. What a couple of flapjacks!
    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

  7. #7
    runs with scissors waywyrd's Avatar
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    I remember reading an article in a local paper a while back about this guy who was nailing a piece of trim to the wall in his house. With the butt of a loaded pistol. (I guess he was too lazy to go find a hammer?) Of course he ended up shooting himself in the leg.

    Never underestimate the power of stupidity...

  8. #8
    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
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    This reminds me of the Darwin Awards. I'll have to find a link.
    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

  9. #9
    Leo
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    Here you go: Darwin Awards

  10. #10
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    Man Shoots, Wounds Lawyer in Front of TV Cameras

    Man Shoots, Wounds Lawyer in Front of TV Cameras
    Crews Were Covering Robert Blake Hearing; Attack Not Connected to Case
    By GILLIAN FLACCUS, AP
    LOS ANGELES (Nov. 1) - An attorney was wounded Friday in a courthouse shooting that was captured by television crews gathered to cover a hearing in the murder case against actor Robert Blake.

    Police said Gerry Curry was shot on a walkway outside the Van Nuys courthouse by a man who was upset that Curry was being paid from his trust fund.

    Dramatic television footage showed Curry, 53, of Simi Valley, trying to hide behind a tree as a man identified by police as William Strier, 64, fired a revolver at him several times from close range.

    ''At first I thought it was a joke because there was no smoke,'' said Steve Grayson, a still photographer. ''But the shots were really, really loud. It was very scary.''

    Curry staggered from behind the tree, bleeding from the face, and held up his hands before collapsing in the street.

    Strier, a heavyset man with graying hair and glasses, calmly walked by stunned reporters before an off-duty sheriff's reserve officer tackled him.

    He was arrested and booked for investigation of attempted murder, and was being held on $500,000 bail.

    Curry was in good condition at Providence Holy Cross Hospital in Mission Hills, Miller said. Curry was hit several times in the upper body but was protected from more severe injuries by the tree, Miller said.

    Court documents show Strier was involved in a dispute in which he alleged a trustee appointed by the court to manage his trust fund was withholding money he needed for medical care.

    The fund was established with money Strier received in an injury settlement.

    ''This trust means life or death to me,'' Strier said in a statement filed Oct. 20.

    The statement did not mention Strier's medical condition and his attorney, Steven Trolard, reached late Friday, would not immediately comment.

    Court documents also showed the dispute was so volatile that trustee Evelyn Murphy said she felt ''physically threatened'' by Strier and claimed that he called her in late August and warned, ''I'm going to kill you.''

    Murphy, who was represented by Curry, asked to resign as Strier's trustee and requested that a judge grant more money from the fund - about $6,240 - for her and Curry's services.

    A court hearing was scheduled Friday on Murphy's request. Police said there was no indication Strier, who had two revolvers, went into the courthouse.

    The shooting underscored the need for tighter security inside and outside the courthouse, said Allan Parachini, a Superior Court spokesman.

    Police said the attack was not connected to the Blake hearing, which ended a short time after the shooting. Blake had been escorted down the same walkway 30 minutes before the shooting.

    The lone conspiracy charge against the actor's handyman Earle Caldwell was dismissed because of a lack of evidence, but Superior Court Judge Darlene Schempp allowed the murder charge against Blake to stand. Blake's trial was set for Feb. 9.

    Police found two revolvers on the suspect, but there was no indication he had taken the guns into the courthouse or had attended the trust fund hearing, Miller said.
    Link to video:
    http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/news/vide...31194309990001

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