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Thread: Things I wonder about,, do you?

  1. #81
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    Steven Wright is one of the funniest people!
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  2. #82
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    I'm a huge Steven Wright fan from way back.

    I bought some powdered water...I didn't know what to add.

    All those who believe in telekenisis, raise my hand.

    The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

    I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

    When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

    I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

    What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

    I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

    Half the people you know are below average.

    I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"

    Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.

    I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

  3. #83
    Princess
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    Originally posted by John
    That's right. We stuck red hot pokers into Modesty's softer spots until she promised not to answer any of these. She held on longer than I thought she would. Tough little cookie.
    John! But I have to correct you... not tough - just stubborn!
    (Watch out for the hefty lawsuit for torture coming your way, John! )
    Last edited by Modesty; 11-16-2002 at 10:44 AM.

  4. #84
    Princess
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    !!! John, would you mind telling me who this funny guy "Steven Wright" is?
    Last edited by Modesty; 11-16-2002 at 10:43 AM.

  5. #85
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Steven Wright is a comedian who's been around for a looong time. He talks like he's half-asleep, and never smiles. He just keeps putting these wierd things out to make you go Hmmm.

    [IMG]images/user/steven_wright.jpg[/IMG]

  6. #86
    Ken's cookie! KylieGrant's Avatar
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    So, why is abbreviate such a long word?

    Love the Steven Wright ones!

  7. #87
    FORT Fogey
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    Why does monosyllable have so many syllables?

  8. #88
    FORT Fogey
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    If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

    Aren't you glad that Norelco invented the Lift & Cut system? Otherwise, the Yank & Pull system would have been downright painful, wouldn't it

    Why do people ask us if we are awake? Isn't 'yes' the only answer possible?

    For what reason do people open a mailbox twice to see if their mail went down?

  9. #89
    Ken's cookie! KylieGrant's Avatar
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    Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

    Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?

    Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

    If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?

    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

    What are Preparation A through Preparation G?

    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

    Some thoughts for the night.

  10. #90
    FORT Fogey
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    KYLIE.. lol.. your good!!

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