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Thread: I Need Advice on My Love Life

  1. #61
    can i have your heart? unexplained's Avatar
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    Hope everything goes well.
    You select the person you want to be with, and then you let that person have the opportunity to select you. -Shayla

    "The mind is its own place, and in it, self can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n." -John Milton, Paradise Lost.

  2. #62
    Don't Panic senrik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bill
    Unmarried men over 40 are NOT all "players" or have "commitment issues". If anything we are more ready to commit than younger men. We are also not necessarily "eccentric" or "gay". There are decent straight men over 40 who are single.

    My own postponement is because I like to complete one goal at a time. My 3 goals in life are (1) obtain a university degree, (2) establish a secured career, then (3) find a mate and start family. I have accomplished my 1st two goals, now I am trying to accomplish my 3rd goal. If DVM's boyfriend has a Phd, then he must have spent an unusually long time on (1).

    Although age is a significant issue, it should not be an overriding issue, which are for example if the boyfriend is a criminal, a wifebeater, a bum, a druggie, or an alcoholic. A younger man with those characteristics poses much more problems than age differences.

    So long as the couple both understand the additional complications the greater age difference poses, I see no reason why they cannot overcome the additional hurdle and still have a happy marriage.

    well said
    "The purpose of the new capitalism is to shoot the wounded." ~ Andy Grove, Chairman, Intel Corporation

  3. #63
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bill
    Unmarried men over 40 are NOT all "players" or have "commitment issues". If anything we are more ready to commit than younger men. We are also not necessarily "eccentric" or "gay". There are decent straight men over 40 who are single.......
    Mmm, Bill, are you anwering some possible parent questions or do you think I was taking a jab on men (actually the same could go for women) over 30, 40, etc. I hope not.

    IMO, the point is to cover what parents objections might be when it comes to age objections and not making a general sweep on people.

    I hope everyone is clear on that. And I do hope that your example can be read by her parents. Afterall, doesn't everyone read FORT?

  4. #64
    Don't Panic senrik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eldee
    Mmm, Bill, are you anwering some possible parent questions or do you think I was taking a jab on men (actually the same could go for women) over 30, 40, etc. I hope not.

    IMO, the point is to cover what parents objections might be when it comes to age objections and not making a general sweep on people.

    I hope everyone is clear on that. And I do hope that your example can be read by her parents. Afterall, doesn't everyone read FORT?
    anyone who is someone is here on FORT, right eldee?
    "The purpose of the new capitalism is to shoot the wounded." ~ Andy Grove, Chairman, Intel Corporation

  5. #65
    CITY OF CHAMPS! aliasmq's Avatar
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    just elope and get it over with

  6. #66
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senrik
    anyone who is someone is here on FORT, right eldee?
    Oh, of course, I don't exclude anyone!

  7. #67
    *** Bill747's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eldee
    Mmm, Bill, are you anwering some possible parent questions or do you think I was taking a jab on men (actually the same could go for women) over 30, 40, etc. I hope not.
    IMO, the point is to cover what parents objections might be when it comes to age objections...
    I did not take the jabs personally, because I realize they are popular gossip and misconceptions about unmarried straight men over 40.

    As for the parents' objections and questions, it depends on the parents' priorities. When one of my sisters married a much older man, my parents did not object because their important criteria were: character, ability, & education. Moreover, my father was significantly older than my mother, and they themselves had a happy marriage. So my family did not object to the marriage, eventhough we joked about it at family gatherings (in a kind way). I was 20 at the time of the post-wedding receptions, it was joked that if I were to do the same thing, my future wife would not have been born yet. (By the way, I don't have a penchant for much younger women, just for leggy women).

    Interestingly that sister has the 2rd most stable marriage among my 4 sisters. Another sister who married a slightly younger man ended up worst with a divorce. He abandoned her & 2 kids to pursue a younger woman in another city. Marriages seem to work out best when the men are slightly or significantly older than the women.
    "The greatest myth in the world is that beauty equals goodness." Leo Tolstoy

  8. #68
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
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    Bill, I'm so glad there is no misunderstanding.

    My friend J married her husband G. J was about 24 and G. was about 51 or 52. He just retired last year. I believe they have been married for about 4-5 years. He already has grandchildren and his some is around her age. One guy said that he married her for her looks and she married G for his money. If he knew what I know, he would know of their "regular" problems and "regular" happiness that doesn't have to do with looks or money. They have to work on their marriage like anyone else, and so far (knock on wood) it's working.

    Of course, now I wish I asked about her family's reaction to G. and their marriage, so I could post that.

  9. #69
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
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    DVM, any progress or is it too soon?

  10. #70
    The new me! Feifer's Avatar
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    dvm, could we get an update on the boyfriend/family situation?
    It occurred to me that no matter how bleak things might seem at times, at least I have a head. ----Stargazer

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