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Thread: I Need Advice on My Love Life

  1. #31
    dvm
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    Of course not! I appreciated all of your advice!

  2. #32
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dvm
    Of course not! I appreciated all of your advice!
    Great, I like hanging out with the girls!

  3. #33
    They're so cute! brenna's Avatar
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    I'm sort of chiming in with more of the same, but I hope that I can still help. I have a cousin who started dating a 33 year old when she was 18. We were all (especially her parents) a little wary of the relationship. They've now been married for several years and are very happy. Her parents love him too (if there's any complaint, it's that he's too immature at times! He's a big ol' kid. )
    I'd suggest that you just give your parents some time to get used to it. Talk to them about why you love this guy, and slowly introduce him to the family.
    Best of luck!

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  4. #34
    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    all of the advice here is very good. most of all i agree with brenna's advice to give your parents the time to get used to the idea of him. talk to them about him and introduce him to the family...on several occasions. since you have a close relationship with your family, don't discount what they say and how they feel either.... they only react the way they do b/c they worry about their daughter. you are young and you have plenty of time to figure it all out. there's no reason to get married tomorrow, so continue to date him, but now let the family in on the fact that you are dating him and how you feel about him. b/c you didn't really let them know the extent of your feelings for him, this seems all very sudden to them, i suspect, though you've had feelings for 2 years now. give them the luxury of time to get used to the idea.

    best of luck to you in your love and in your life.

  5. #35
    dvm
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    Thanks, Sher!

  6. #36
    foolhardy comrade Moon Skin Child's Avatar
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    Good luck with marriage! I hope it's smooth sailing, and I apologize profusely for not having advice, but...how do I say this...politely...I'm 11.
    I was in love with a difficult man.

  7. #37
    dvm
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moon Skin Child
    Good luck with marriage! I hope it's smooth sailing, and I apologize profusely for not having advice, but...how do I say this...politely...I'm 11.

  8. #38
    ~*Perfect Princess*~ Blazingorchidlv's Avatar
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    Not really advice but i kinda know what ur going through but on diff terms? lol I started talking to this guy online when I was 17 he was 29. It started off as just saying hi how ya doin and not really TALKING much...now 4 years later...we have a semi "relationship" type thing...he used to come to vegas all the time but at that time i was still underage and didnt want to get caught up in all that. Now he is 32...I will be 21..and he is coming to town again and we are meeting this December after 4 years..but when I told my mother how old he was...she flipped out...because he is the same age as my older brother. Hes 11 years and 2 months older than me. I sat down with her..and I talked to her about him..and how even though we are so far apart in age..how we have a lot in common and everything. And I forget who but someone was saying some questions ur parents might have..and those are the same questions my mom asked me. Has he been married...why isnt he married...does he have kids etc. And I answered everything truthfully. And she has actually talked with him and is now Ok with it. And although mine is on a different level because him and i havent met...(although after 4 years i know him better than most of my friends lol) I just sat down and told her about him and why I like him and everything. For me my mom may accept it only because he lives in NY me in Vegas..and she thinks nothing will happen between us. But well just have to see how things go when he comes to town. But I do agree with everyone about just sitting with your parents and finding out what frightens them the most. Maybe theres more to it than just his age.
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  9. #39
    can i have your heart? unexplained's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Feifer
    When I was 20 I dated a man who was 36. We had a lot of fun together and it was nice to be around someone who had different experiences than I had in my life. He liked that I had a ton of energy and enjoyed many of the same things he did. We went dancing together at least once a week and sometimes up to three times a week. He was the best dancer I had ever danced with. We ate at intersting restaraunts with food I had never tried before. I was still living at home with my parents when I met him. I assured my parents that we were "just friends" but did not offer up any details when we moved on from "just friends". My parents met him and liked him very much, but never expressed any misgivings they might have about him for fear that I might just run off with him and never turn back(smart parents). I would house sit for him when he went our of town. I had my own key and came and went as I pleased. I loved going to his house out in the country and cooking for him and him cooking for me. It was the first "truely-grown-up" relationship I had ever had. It was very exciting at times and very simple at other times. I helped him do lawn work and home improvements. I really could see my life with this man. The funny thing is that we never really had a "break-up". He got a better job in a different city and moved away without much fuss. There was no teary, heartfelt goodbye. Once he settled in to his new home, he called me and wrote to me. He expressed more than once that he felt he made a mistake not taking me with him, but as it turns out, I am glad he did not. I had so much growing to do before I was ready to settle down and become someone's wife. Not one person could have told me that at that time in my live. I was convinced that he was "The One" for me. At different times in our lives we have met up here and there. Any time he moves or gets a new job he sends me a card with his new information. Before I got married he would send me birthday, St. Patrick's day, Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas cards. I have lost touch with him over the past few years but I am not really sad about that. I have a wonderful life and I am sure he does too. I would never want to do anything to disrupt either of our presently happy lives. My time with him was very sweet and I treasure the lessons I learned from him and with him. I truely believe that he made me a better person, wife and mother in my present life. There is not one thing I would change about that experience.

    My hope for you is that you do not rush into anything. If he is the man for you then he will stick around as long as it takes for you to grow into the woman you need to be to embark on a life as a wife and possibly a mother. You have plenty of time. Though I do not know how old you are, remember that you have the rest of your life to make big life decisions. Take one day at time and enjoy it to the fullest. Make no hasty decisions. Enjoy the time you spend with your boyfriend and with your family. Who knows? Maybe one day you will marry this man and your parents could be fine with it. Time will reveal all. just remember that your family loves you very much and that they want what is best for you. They have many more years of life experience under their belts. Does that make them experts on your relationship? No. Do they have wisdom you may have not gained yet? Yes. Just know that you are certaily loved on both sides of this situation and that can make things confusing. Take the time to figure it out for yourself with help and love from both sides. You will certainly work it all out.
    Feifer, I really like your post very much. It had taught me something. Now I truly understand my friend's position.

    Well, recently, my friend felt that she met 'The One'. She felt that she had a fiery connection with him and that they shared many similar interests. She finally took up the courage to ask him out and they had a once-in-a-lifetime date where sparks flew all over. However, she didn't tell him her real feelings because 'The One' was reticent about everything. Thus, they parted.
    She felt really certain he's 'The One' but wouldn't want to be with him. Something about being too cruel to be with him and he deserves better. I don't understand why.
    You select the person you want to be with, and then you let that person have the opportunity to select you. -Shayla

    "The mind is its own place, and in it, self can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n." -John Milton, Paradise Lost.

  10. #40
    Reformed Perfectionist G.G.'s Avatar
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    Ok ok ok...I need to read S-L-O-W-E-R! I initially thought the title of the thread was "I Need A Love Life" and I was all set to post...

    YOU AND ME BOTH...Muahahahahahahahahaha!

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