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Thread: Funny Quotes

  1. #1
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    Funny Quotes

    I've been reading some of the funny things people have in their signature lines, and thought it would be fun for people to put a couple of their favorite quotes here. Remember toi give credit if you can.


    I've got a bunch, but will post only a couple here now:

    "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity" Albert Einstein


    "My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher" Socrates


    "To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times" Mark Twain


    "Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next" Franklin P. Jones
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  2. #2
    agentcarver
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    "The only thing I fear is my own mouth" The Un-loveable, Bumbling mayor of Toronto, Mel Lastman

  3. #3
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  4. #4
    agentcarver
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    Well.... By "Bumbing" I mean he did cost us the only shot in hell we had at the olympics, you know.


    "Why vote for me? I've got nicer legs than all the other candidates and my platform is tighter shirts on firefighters!"
    Enzra Anderson, joke mayoral candidate and transvestite

    Enzra actually came in third place last time around.

  5. #5
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    I always liked....
    "If it weren't for caffine, I wouldn't have a personality" by David Lettermen
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  6. #6
    agentcarver
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    HA!

    Prime Minister Jean Chretien can't quite grasp either official language-I wish I had a quote... He's known for being our "Most Poopolar leader", though ;-)

  7. #7
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    oh my nlmcp, I think that will be my new saying! I love it
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  8. #8
    agentcarver
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    *Sigh*

    That's right-Exclude us Bouillon freaks ;-)

  9. #9
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    "The internet is a great way to get on the Web." - Bob Dole

  10. #10
    agentcarver
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    Hmmm...

    "Teen pregnancy drops off signifigantly after age 25"
    Nevada state assemblywoman

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