How do you get someone who appears not to like you, interested?

**Lil_Cutie** · 09-10-2003, 03:07 AM

Yes, seems like no matter who I like, and believe me, I've liked a lot of guys, that none of them feel the same way about me, at all. I'm lucky if they like me as a friend. I've tried all different ways. Guys on here, some help? What has happened to you to get you interested in a girl you may not have liked in the beginning? And girls, if you've been in my situation, share your experiences. I'm tired of blowing it. I have a new crush, and I'd love to actually get something out of this one, for once.

**unexplained** · 09-10-2003, 04:15 AM

This is a toughie. I'm totally clueless actually.

**nlmcp** · 09-10-2003, 06:31 AM

Gee I just had this conversation with a friend of mine.

My personal opinion is, if they aren't interested, they aren't interested. Now, if they are interested but shy, then talk to them about whatever seems to interest them or things that would interst you both.

But frankly, if they aren't interested there is pretty much not much you can do. Now here is a question for you...Are you only interested in guys who seem like a challegene? Are you only interested in guys who seem a bit stand offish? are you only interested in one type of guy? Maybe you need to expand your horizons when it comes to men. (my sister used to just be into the Tom Petty like guiter playing types...always had lousy relationships, then she discovered the "computer geek" guys, she was much happier.)

thinking besides his usual cup of coffee in bed, I should be bringing my husband breakfast. Thank god I don't have date.

**aliasmq** · 09-10-2003, 07:54 AM

Flash Him

.........then Smile

**eldee** · 09-10-2003, 10:00 AM

I was flashed once at a Halloween party and I smiled!

**senrik** · 09-10-2003, 10:27 AM

Here's the toughie...men, in general are not so complicated. at the same time, we are not some monolithic entity that all respond the same way to all stimulus.... sure certain things we are indeed the same, but who the hell wants to act slutty eh?

Have you guys at all talked? is there anything you can do to find out his interests, other than stalk him?

In my experience courting (I like that term) is a game of creating mystery and putting a person at ease at the same time....

**aliasmq** · 09-10-2003, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by senrik

Here's the toughie...men, in general are not so complicated. at the same time, we are not some monolithic entity that all respond the same way to all stimulus.... sure certain things we are indeed the same, but who the hell wants to act slutty eh?

Have you guys at all talked? is there anything you can do to find out his interests, other than stalk him?

In my experience courting (I like that term) is a game of creating mystery and putting a person at ease at the same time....

sen, I don't know what the HELL you just said, but I copied it and sent it to M.I.T. for verification....BTW THANKS for the advice

**Amanda** · 09-10-2003, 11:17 AM

I have to agree 100% with nlmcp here. If they just don't like you, they just don't like you. Assuming that it isn't, as she said, just a matter of shyness, you kind of have to let it go. It's not easy, but it is what it is. There are going to be tons of people who WILL like you without you having to resort to some sort of intense ritual to waste your time on those who don't. Remember, it's their loss.

**eldee** · 09-10-2003, 11:43 AM

Try alcohol. NO! Just kidding. Feel out the situation of not interested vs shy.

If he is not interested, IMO, leave it alone because even if you got him interested, how long would that last for?

If shy, be a good friend and if he is interested, look out for some signals.

Regardless whether that guy is interested in you or not, enjoy your life and don't rely on anyone else. When you least expect it

**Shazzer** · 09-10-2003, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by AmandaG

I have to agree 100% with nlmcp here. If they just don't like you, they just don't like you. Assuming that it isn't, as she said, just a matter of shyness, you kind of have to let it go. It's not easy, but it is what it is. There are going to be tons of people who WILL like you without you having to resort to some sort of intense ritual to waste your time on those who don't. Remember, it's their loss.

I've got to echo everyone else, and say that it's just not possible to force someone to like you. It's such a waste of time, really. Trust me, there are tons of other guys around the corner that will like you, it's just silly to waste time on those who don't. Don't chase someone who doesn't want to get caught. I'm all for giving it one or two shots, i.e. putting out the feelers until you find out what they think, and then dropping it fast and moving forward if it's unrequited or they don't respond.

It's really not personal, it's all about them and their life and their preferences. Plus, you can never accurately guess why someone isn't interested, i.e. a lot of times it's something unrelated to you, so definitely don't take it personally. You will meet someone for whom you are "da bomb". I know, because I've had instances with unrequited interest, and I always, always, always, end up meeting someone else who is very interested.

If someone doesn't think you sparkle, then they just shouldn't be interesting to you. Trust me, life is so much more fun and exciting with people/dates who DO think you sparkle, and there are always plenty of those around. Trust me, I've never known someone who this hasn't been true for.

(edited to say: what Eldee said is very true. I.e. when you least expect it that's when it comes walking into your life.

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