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Thread: how to break up

  1. #21
    They're so cute! brenna's Avatar
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    just to clear up. By 'crap' I meant junk food.
    (i'm sure you know that. But I don't want y'all wondering what kind of weirdo I am!)
    It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

  2. #22
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    I could write volumes on how not to break up....but the best advice I can offer is be very clear it's a break up and not a "please act different" speech.

    As for how to get over someone? All I can say is don't start dating quickly on the rebound because then you often have to break up that relationship.
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  3. #23
    eternal optimist Shazzer's Avatar
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    How to break up:
    First of all, be direct. Swift like a band-aid. No, you don’t have to tell them that spending time in the 7th circle of hell would be preferable to spending time with them , but you should make it clear that you are not interested and are leaving the situation. Don’t be vague, don’t make up transparent, poor quality lies and don’t just disappear or avoid the person. You’ve only just fuzzed up the ending, then, and assured yourself some extra bonus chasing time you didn’t want, all because the person doesn’t know it’s over. People tend to believe what you say, so don’t leave them hanging with a “maybe later,” or “talk to you soon” or “now is not the right time” if you don’t want to see them later, won’t talk to them soon and it will never be the right time. Give them closure so that they can go wallow in the sounds of Chicago and Air Supply, and/or burn you in effigy.

    2nd, offer them a tasty treat. Nothing softens the blow like homemade pastries. At first it will all taste like sawdust to them, but later, when they’re better, they’ll remember the sweet aromas of your raisin roundies and feel cheered, if not slightly hungry.

    3rd, Be nice and respectful. Treat them with the same dignity you would want, and the same amount of closure you would want. Someone said it in another thread, but give people the same amount of respect you would want yourself. This is not the time to point out that they chew with their mouth open and smell like old soup.

    The best way to let down someone who has a crush on you: I saw it on a show once, but I thought saying something like, “I just didn’t feel that indescribable something that makes us a match,” sounded nice.

    When you’ve been dumped:
    First off, have a lot of friends.
    2nd, already have a rewarding life.

    When you have a lot of good friends, you can whine and cry on many levels to various people, and when one of them is sick of hearing about how rotten the ex is and how fine you are because you always thought the ex had ugly hands anyway, you can turn to another friend, to which your stories about the ex’s weird eating habits will be fascinating. Side note: Make sure you have really good friends who are very good at pretending that hearing about the ex’s weird eating habits is fascinating.

    Ask your friends to tell you about horrible dating/love experiences they’ve had and how fine they are now. You will laugh and realize that it’s just a bump in the road, and not the end of the road, and you’ll see that everyone has been down that road. If no friends are available, or all of them have led blissful lives, note celebrities who have managed to get dumped, have their lives displayed all over the tabloids, and yet somehow ended up happy again.

    Make a list of all the things you didn’t like during the relationship. Keep reading it. Whenever the grass seems greener on the other side of the fence, remind yourself of how your ex always interrupted you or wasn’t nice to your grandma or once told you that the shirt you were wearing was “clown like”.

    Also, whenever you get involved in a relationship, make sure you already have a rewarding life anyway. Make sure you keep doing the things you’ve always done and keep seeing the people you’ve always seen, and continue to do things just for fun just for you. Because when the person leaves, you won’t feel like the sun in your universe has been blotted out. You’ll already have a sun in your universe, and that sun is you.
    "If you're like me, you have a 'been there, done that' attitude when it comes to paleolithic paleontology." - Jon Stewart

    "I swear, you are the ho-ho ho." - OTS

  4. #24
    daydream believer oneTVslave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shazzer
    Also, whenever you get involved in a relationship, make sure you already have a rewarding life anyway. Make sure you keep doing the things you’ve always done and keep seeing the people you’ve always seen, and continue to do things just for fun just for you. Because when the person leaves, you won’t feel like the sun in your universe has been blotted out. You’ll already have a sun in your universe, and that sun is you.
    Wow, Shazzer. Awesome post. People who define themselves by their relationships find themselves in a world of hurt after a breakup. The trick is to never lose sight of who you are as an individual...
    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by brenna
    just to clear up. By 'crap' I meant junk food.
    (i'm sure you know that. But I don't want y'all wondering what kind of weirdo I am!)
    I knew that. It was my lame attempt at being funny.
    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star in somebody else's eyes... but why... why... why can't it be me?

  6. #26
    FORT Fogey
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    Yeah, I was just going to ask for advice on what I should do about this guy who seems to like me and I just like him as a friend! Well, it just appears that I'll just have to be straight with him, nicely. I still have more issues though. How about a thread called How to get a guy who appears not to like you interested?

  7. #27
    Adelitas Way 7.14.09 libra1022's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grantaire02

    I usually write the offending party long-winded emails, and if i am smart, i save the draft and don't send it...at least not right away. Usually it helps to get all the anger, hurt and stuff out-- and then you feel so much better you are able to articulate how you feel better to said party...else you are able to find a moment's peace in the cathartic release.
    Grant it's so nice to hear that somebody else does this!! Normally right after things happen I sit down and tap out HUGE emails with all manner of bs in them and end up just saving them as a draft. I know I don't want to send them, or if I do I don't end up sending it to the offending party, but to one of my closest friends instead just so I can get everything off my chest. It really is a release to just get the words and frustration out of the head and out there somewhere. (on a side note, I tend to do this as well when I like somebody but am not sure if I want to spill the beans on the situation right away, I keep myself really nice emails that maybe one day I'll have the guts to give to the appropriate person)

  8. #28
    FORT Regular marvine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lil_Cutie
    Yeah, I was just going to ask for advice on what I should do about this guy who seems to like me and I just like him as a friend! Well, it just appears that I'll just have to be straight with him, nicely. I still have more issues though. How about a thread called How to get a guy who appears not to like you interested?

    ooh ... the eternal theme of sex and the city and Bridget Jones. The most obvious advice that comes to mind is to "appear not interested." I'm sure the guys have a different take on this, so let's get this thread started!
    Last edited by marvine; 09-10-2003 at 03:09 AM.

  9. #29
    FORT Fogey
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    marvine, I think it's a great idea! I'll have to start it! Maybe when I'm done responding to this one!

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