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Of course he's told you he doesn't want a relationship. If he told you differenty then he'd fall out of the "friend" category and all hope would be lost! You're speaking to a guy that all the girls in high school described as "the nicest guy" here. I know of which I speak. :)Quote:
My best friend is my ex-boyfriend, and we both know that we don't want to have a relationship! HA!
Wow. Sign Wayner up for my official love correspondent from now on. :props :lol
:lol Wayner.... of course you are right at some level. :) In the beginning it was certainly so, but much water has flown under the bridges since, and now there is only friendship left. We've known eachother for some 16 years now, so our communication is very openhearted.... :)
Actually, Modesty, I have a friend that's the same way - we've known eachother for 15 years, and while we never dated, the fact is that when we first met I really wanted to date her. Now, she's more like an older sister to me and that's the end of it.Quote:
Wayner.... of course you are right at some level. In the beginning it was certainly so, but much water has flown under the bridges since, and now there is only friendship left. We've known eachother for some 16 years now, so our communication is very openhearted....
And while I wish that I could travel the world the way she does, she envies me for having a great family life. I think I have the better deal.
I also have friend of 15 years, whom I met in San Diego, and we did date for a year or so down there, but I still stand behind my thoughts on this in general.
There are always exceptions to the rule.
I've had this conversation many times with friends of mine, and they always go something like this:
"oh no, Freddy knows we aren't that way anymore"
To which I always ask, well why is he buying you dinner and calling and such?
"He knows that we are just good friends...and he even said he didn't want to go beyond that at all, he is over me".
So I always ask them to take the test, which is to go up to Freddy and say, I changed my mind, let's hook up (or whatever euphamism you want to insert there....no pun intended). Let's see what Freddy says to that.
About half the time they say oh no, can't do that, he would jump right on in. Which proves my point.
The other half have tried it, and learned to there chagrin that Freddy just might have been a little hooked on them still. Which also proves my point.
I've seen it work both ways. But guys seem to resort to the tactic more often.
Just what I have observed. YMMV
I can't think of anything really terrible that I did to anyone, as far as breaking up with them. Now, I did do something really sorry to a friend of mine in high school...She was really interested in this guy & I could tell he was interested in me, so let him pursue me & would talk to him & flirt with him all the time, even though I knew she liked him. I never dated him or even kiss him, but it was still a really s**tty thing to do to a friend...
OK OK OK OK.... you're right, Bill, I'm wrong! ;)
Kylie, Wayner is 100% correct. Take it from another wise veteran. Your ex bf is just saving face. The "mutual" draw down from lovers to friends is hardly ever mutual. It just seems that way. The guy would still have you in a Second, trust me.Quote:
Originally posted by Wayner
Of course he's told you he doesn't want a relationship. If he told you differenty then he'd fall out of the "friend" category and all hope would be lost! You're speaking to a guy that all the girls in high school described as "the nicest guy" here. I know of which I speak. :)
Wow, well I definitely trust you three. All my male friends that are ex-s are in love with me. Hmmm. ;) I'll keep that in mind.
If your bf/gf breaks up with you and you don’t want to break up, of course 99 times of 100 you want them back – duh! And of course, remaining “friends” is the only option that seems possible – duh! So, at the beginning, yes, the “friends” thing is just a cover-up. But, life goes on, and sooner (or later) you’ll get over it, and you can actually become real friends – in case you haven’t broken up the friendship meanwhile or drifted apart from other reasons. Trust it from a veteran :) – the man I thought was the man of my life, and who subsequently broke up with me, I still remain friends with, but I would never ever want him back now (although it took quite a while to get over). I was young(er) then, and now I know that he was definitely not the right one for me! (I became very sure about this, when I turned down a date with him that he proposed several years later... :)).