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Thread: Crush Central: Pining Away

  1. #1
    FORT Fogey sonormal's Avatar
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    Crush Central: Pining Away

    I'm no stranger to crushes...Lord knows, my nearly 23 years on this lovely planet have been chock-full (did I spell that correctly?) of them...starting with Mr. Rogers when I was 5 (ew, yuck), moving on to a blonde boy named Frances when I was in first grade, then Andy from 5th grade till 8th grade, then Justin the sax player for two years in high school (go figure-- he asked me out senior year and the idea repulsed me...I was long over him by then), and my great hate for Clark because he was so damn cocky and smart by senior year (that I later decided was my biggest crush in all of high school)...in college, I had a crush on Jeremy, who became my best friend ever (of course, he liked me later on freshman year, but the very thought of him touching me in a non-platonic way makes me lips curl and skin crawl-- and he's not a bad-looking bloke), the RA Matt (who is a great guy, but a self-admitted man whore-- actually, I had a run-in with him in Chicago this past week-- we went out for drinks and chats three nights in a row...on the second week we had a drunken make-out fest on street-corners...but nothing more than that. The third night, I made sure there was a three-foot distance between us at any given time...), a boy in French class, the guy behind the counter at an artsy coffeehouse, the quiet boy with Buddy Holly glasses in Russian History class, my coworker (who later becqame my boyfriend), another coworker (who I also dated), when I moved to LA a boy on Santa Monica's Promenade had great hair, so I planted myself in front of his outdoor cafe table and pretended to be confused (one of the boys I'm "dating" or "seeing" or whatever-- in LA now), the man who looks like Clay Aiken who is a filmmaker (my biggest crush at the moment), and so on...

    I know everybody has crushes...and I know your friends are sick of hearing about them.

    Obsess and discuss here...every little detail, every email, every glance in your direction...I won't judge you because I'm guilty of the same...fixations.

    Indulge!

    I need somewhere to write about my Clay Filmmaker Man, anyway...

  2. #2
    So Far Away Yellow Apple's Avatar
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    Probably the best chance I ever had of making a connection was this one girl in 4th grade. At least I think she liked me. She used to beat me up and take my lunch money every day.*

    But then we moved away and I never saw her again. We kept in touch for a little while through the mail but by the time I was in junior high I was into another girl (and I'm guessing she probably already had a boyfriend by that time).

    There were two in JH, actually. One in 7th and one in 8th. Of course, neither of them wanted anything to do with me (a theme that was to become a recurring one). The one girl in 7th, I actually asked her out and she said her mom wouldn't let her date yet... then 2 weeks later she started going out with an 8th grader.

    The 8th grade girl... I don't know why I ever liked her in the first place, really. I think it was more a "I need a girlfriend now, dammit!" thing (another familiar recurring theme). Sure, she was hot, but that's about all she had going for her. Kind of like that one girl in high school I liked for a while (who was really the only one I liked in HS. Girls and me just don't mix well). That was a "all my friends have girlfriends and I don't so I need a chick now" thing.

    In college I was never really interested in anyone enough to chase them (yeah, how weird is that? A dude not chasing college chicks), and even the drunk college chicks didn't see me as anything worthy enough.

    I really haven't liked anyone since high school, and that was 9-10 years ago. I've been on a few dates since then, but nothing has ever come out of that. I talk to more girls online that I do in real life, and I'm not interested in a long-distance relationship. Oh, the horror... the horror.

    Basically, I'm pretty disillusioned with the whole relationship thing. I haven't played the game in a long while and I don't expect to move from the bench anytime soon (hey, what can I say? I'm lazy and don't like to move around much).

    * = not the exact story, but it's a hell of a lot more interesting than the real version, trust me
    R.I.P Willie Dog (?/?/1989-12/17/2004). Gone but never forgotten.

    Welcome Zelda (and a hot of other names)! (Born 08/08/2005, adopted 10/08/2005)

    Also welcome Shasta! (Born ?/?/2004, Adopted 03/??/07)

  3. #3
    FORT Fogey sonormal's Avatar
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    Aw, Yellow Apple

    You have the opposite problem than me... you don't like anyone and I like everyone...

    Ah, nothing like a cup of coffee (or three) and a crush to get me through the day...

    I can just daydream all day about every guy I see and imagine all the possibilities of every single person I meet... which is why I have a bad habit of coming off as a bit of a tease...or else come off as terribly restrained (it's a design of pure will, not nature. My nature would have me licking the face of everybody I see, like a a stupid, affectionate piddling cocker spaniel or something).

  4. #4
    FORT Fogey nausicaa's Avatar
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    I don't usually fixate and spend large amounts of time daydreaming about people I find attractive. Unless, of course, they look like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers or Jakob Dylan.

    In real life, I usually date people who start off as (more-or-less) platonic friends, so the "crush factor" doesn't often come into play. The first time I truly got my wish in terms of reciprocal crushes was with my third boyfriend, back in senior year of high school. He had beautiful blue eyes, thick and wavy blond hair, read Ionesco and Stoppard in his spare time, understood the genius that is "Akira" and interned at the college campus radio station while being the guitarist for a band ("The Dolls", I think?) Needless to say, all the girls totally adored him. I, on the other hand, am okay-looking, quiet, and can be acerbic sometimes. Plus, back then, I had Sinead O'Connor-esque hair (read: nearly bald), hung out with my best friend Marni (who's a lesbian), and so everyone automatically assumed I batted for the other team.

    Well, this intelligent and artistic guy, who I thought I was so, so lucky to "catch", turned out to be quite retarded in terms of relationships. He rarely showered affection on me, if ever; I was always the initiator. He also had quite a chip on his shoulder, which resulted from an inferiority-complex which resulted from general teen-angst and a very strained relationship with his father, who he adores and yet detests because the old man keeps putting him down. During an four-day stay at their residence (read: estate - did I mention they were well-off?), I was stupid enough to become entangled in the webs of this extremely dysfunctional family and naively stood up to his father, who I thought was a very unpleasant, slightly coarse man. I ended up alienating both "Owain" and his father - not the best moment of my life.

    Still, I'm glad to be done with him now - he was just too much work, and ultimately we were incompatible, in spite of our interests. I swore that the next time my "crush" is answered by God (or Allah, or Buddha...), I would think first with my brain instead of my hormones. The relationships I've had since then are shorter, less intense, but also less strenuous. And, because I started off as friends with these guys, and we had a solid foundation to begin with, we always go back to being friends after the break-up. I know this is not usually the case with most people, but so far it has worked out for me.

  5. #5
    FORT Fogey mrpayroll's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Apple

    I really haven't liked anyone since high school, and that was 9-10 years ago. I've been on a few dates since then, but nothing has ever come out of that. I talk to more girls online that I do in real life, and I'm not interested in a long-distance relationship. Oh, the horror... the horror.

    Basically, I'm pretty disillusioned with the whole relationship thing. I haven't played the game in a long while and I don't expect to move from the bench anytime soon (hey, what can I say? I'm lazy and don't like to move around much).
    We are so alike that it's scary. But I think I got you beat, timewise!

    I first fell in love at 19, with a girl who was 16. I worked with her, but she gave me the f-word 'friends' and that was it. I still think about her to this day, even though I haven't talked to her since 1982. I then fell in love again in 1983. She was 2 years younger than me and a long distance romance (she New Jersey, me Los Angeles) Well that didn't last long and it also didn't help that she had a boyfriend.

    Then in 1985 was my biggest love of all. It lasted for about 3 months. She was about a year older than me, was married (yes that's true), but she was separated from her husband and she had a daughter. But we knew in the end that our timing was not right. She was just getting out of that relationship and even though I treated her like a queen, we knew it wouldn't last. I last talked to her in Oct 1987.

    I have not been in love since then, cause it's too painful for me. Sure there were other girls that I went out with after that, that I could fall in love with, but something always went wrong.

    Like the time a good friend of mine set me up with this Christian girl, about a year older than me. We double dated with my good friend and his girlfriend and went dancing on a Saturday night. We had a great time and I spent the night over her house. We 'slept' and yes I mean only slept on the floor together. The next morning she visited my church and watched me play drums in the worship band. Here I finally thought that God had sent me my Christian wife. We spent the day together and I was over her house that night when she got a call. I was kind of asleep on the couch, but I didn't like the sound of the call. I had to leave and I called her the next couple of days, but she never would return my call. Well I found out a couple of days later that my good friend who had set me up with her, was actually cheating on his longtime girlfriend, with the girl that he had set me up with. She had been in love with him, but he didn't want to leave his girlfriend and commit to her. Well as soon as he saw that she was falling for me, he called her and told her he was going to leave his girlfriend and that he wanted her now.

    Well to make a long story even longer, he dumped his longtime girlfriend, devasting her. He moved in with the girl, they got married had at least 1 child and I heard that he cheated on her and they got a divorce. I have not talked to either one of them since 1991 and that was their choice.

    Since then I have not gone out with anyone, because I don't want to have to go thru the hassle of getting to know them and then starting liking them and falling in love, and then having it all come crashing down. I'm a romantic, I like the Romeo & Juliet approach, love at first sight and spend the rest of your lives together, happy!

    Chris

  6. #6
    FORT Fogey sonormal's Avatar
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    nausica-- you mentioned authors i am familiar with and Amadeus is a film I adore! I adore it! and we've already chatted it up about books...too bad we're both straight...

  7. #7
    FORT Fogey nausicaa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grantaire02
    nausica-- you mentioned authors i am familiar with and Amadeus is a film I adore! I adore it! and we've already chatted it up about books...too bad we're both straight...
    Too bad, huh? Well, I'm sure you'll be able to find happiness with Mr. Clay Filmmaker Guy. If you hold on to him long enough, who knows - you might even get to see yourself as the next Mrs. Woody Allen! (J/k! I'm sure Mr. Filmmaker is a handsome guy...but then again, if he is the doppleganger of Clay... )

    I actually do have somewhat of a crush right now - a pretty amazing guy, if I do say so myself. When he was 18, he trekked it out of a slum of a town in China and struggled to make it here in Canada. He worked two part-time jobs and studied full time at university. Now that he's just graduated, he's doing international business with an Italian clothing corporation back in Beijing, and we communicate back and forth through e-mail. This man is strong, independent, funny, the most generous of friends, and an all-around Nice Guy. After knowing him, I've become convinced that artsy, intellectual, supposedly "profound" types are way overrated. Unfortunately, I think my crush sees me as another one of his "ge mer" (read: "brother") - oh well.


  8. #8
    can i have your heart? unexplained's Avatar
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    Ahh, a subject that leaves me with much dilemma now.

    Well, I have countless crushes. I only view them as an incentive to go to school. I need something to motivate me. Anyway I grow out of them and never view the crushes seriously. I never quite pursue any crushes.

    However at this very moment, I am infatuated with this particular junior of mine. I don't know why I didn't get the attraction before. It just happened. He haunted me in my dreams and in school, the countless taunts are a pleasurable torture.

    Then last two weeks, I finally get to see why I am so attracted to him. I was talking to him when a friend of him butted in our conversation. He ignored his friend and continued talking to me. His friend then teased him by calling him "nose" to distract us.

    At that moment, I glanced down to his nose and made the shocking discovery. His nose is alike Adrien Brody. Okay, well, I'm crazy about Adrien Brody. Thus my sub-conscious mind links Adrien to him. I'll stop now. This is embarassing.
    Last edited by unexplained; 08-12-2003 at 06:16 AM.
    You select the person you want to be with, and then you let that person have the opportunity to select you. -Shayla

    "The mind is its own place, and in it, self can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n." -John Milton, Paradise Lost.

  9. #9
    So Far Away Yellow Apple's Avatar
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    I can truthfully say that I've never been in love. You've already read about the few crushes I've had, but now that I think about it, I'm not so sure it was the girls I liked as much as the idea that I should be with someone. I've pretty much let that go now. I'm almost convinced that I'll probably never end up with anyone, but you know... I'm so used to that now that I don't really think about it that much anymore. You know how after a while you don't even notice certain things anymore. It's like that now with me and relationships.

    I used to think about it all the time and I used to get so mad at everyone and everything because I've gotten the shaft when it comes to romance. Then I'd try to forget about it by getting drunk and getting into trouble. But of course you know the more you try to forget it, the more you end up thinking about it, and then you just end up feeling worse than when you started. In the end I realized that I had to let go of that anger before it killed me, and gradually I have (or at least I think I have). It's not an easy process and I'm still not where I need to be, but it gets easier as time passes.

    That's how I am in real life, anyway. I tend to come off as flirty when I'm online. I'll hit on just about every girl I talk to in chatrooms. I'm not sure why that is, though I have a theory on that. But it has gotten me into trouble sometimes, but I just can't help it. Even us dark souls need a flashlight sometimes.

    I'm reminded of a song I listen to a lot lately, and it fits my current state pretty well: "Show me what's it for, make me understand it. I've been crawling in the dark, looking for the answers. Is there something more, than what I've been handed? I've been crawling in the dark, looking for the answers."
    R.I.P Willie Dog (?/?/1989-12/17/2004). Gone but never forgotten.

    Welcome Zelda (and a hot of other names)! (Born 08/08/2005, adopted 10/08/2005)

    Also welcome Shasta! (Born ?/?/2004, Adopted 03/??/07)

  10. #10
    foolhardy comrade Moon Skin Child's Avatar
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    I have had several crushes, an infatuation, and I'm currently in love.

    My first crush was Lance Bass. I don't know why, but I always thought Timberlake looked like a pig (no -- scratch that, that's insulting the cute little pigs). The funny thing is that now I listen to rock music.

    Second, Daniel Radcliffe, the kid who plays Harry Potter. I would squeal when he was TV or in the movies. I have gotten over him, and I have been over him for a while. My friends are obsessed with Rupert Grint, the kid who plays Ron. I know about 4 or 5 people who like or once liked him. But back to me.

    Third was Elijah Wood. He was my favorite Hobbit. Even if I got over him, he has a little place in my heart reserved for him.

    Fourth was Orlando Bloom, who I liked for approxiamately 5.27 seconds.

    Fifth is Gregory Smith from the show Everwood. I still kind of like him. Who couldn't? Dark, depressed boys are yummy.

    My lovely (and shameless) infatuation/crush is Billy Martin from Good Charlotte. Come ON, you know a boy that wears black eyeliner and black nail polish is too hard to resist. Plus he's really cute.

    The person I'm in love with is a fifteen year old boy named Matt. A redhead. He's tall too. 5'8". I love tall guys. SO HOT. And he's smart and really funny. Strong too. :slobber If only I weren't so young....:banghead
    I was in love with a difficult man.

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