The sarcastic side of me wants to blurt out: "No, I was really looking for true love and life fulfillment, but I had to settle on this dented box of Rasin Bran, thank you for depressing me further..."
I agree with those who've said how much they enjoy your sense of humor here, Bill!
As for me, sometimes I'll actually respond to the "Did you find everything alright?" question with "Well, no; I couldn't find the pot of gold I was looking for." Sometimes I get really confused looks back, as though I overloaded their synapses by not just saying "Yes".