62LikesThose students must have had access to the same joke books that I read when I was that age.Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students!
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Those students must have had access to the same joke books that I read when I was that age.Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students!
25 Signs Showing You Might be Canadian
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1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK".
2. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
4. You drink Pop, not Soda.
5. You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean.
6. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays with good cigars.
7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.
11. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
12. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & many more, are Canadians.
13. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
14. You know what a touque is.
15. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
16. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee"
17. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
18. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work.
19. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.
20. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
21. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan".
22. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.
23. You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
24. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than,"Huh?"
25. You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all of your Canadian friends. Then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them ... further.
Really? That's funny. What number(s) on the list did you actually understand? Or is there a few I could clarify for you?Originally Posted by Newfherder
The way I figure it, misskitty, I must be no more than 8% Canadian. The rest left me scratching my head
Understanding Marketing
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You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy. You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, "She's/He's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. They walk up to you and say, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.
SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE "LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS"
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY
Monday, October 2, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*
All in good fun guys
How to tell if you need to pray at work
When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing "good
morning" to everyone and you think, "Somebody needs to
slap the s#@! out of her"... You need to pray at work.
When someone comes in and announces, "office meeting in 5
minutes," and you think, "what the f*&% do they want
now?"..... You need to pray at work.
When your computer is mysteriously turned off and you want
to say, "which one of you sons of b*&^%$# turned off my
computer?"..... You need to pray at work.
When you and a co-worker are discussing something, and a
third person comes in and says, "well at my last
office...," and you want to throw a stapler at him......
You need to pray at work.
When you hear a co-worker call your name and the first
thing that crosses your mind is, "what the h*&^ does she
want now?" and you try to hide underneath your
desk......... You need to pray at work.
When you are asked to stay late and help do someone else's
work and the first thing that pops in your head is, "both
of you can kiss my a@@!!".... You need to pray at work.
When you're in the elevator and it stops to pick up
someone who stood for five minutes waiting for the darn
thing only to go DOWN one floor, and you say "that lazy
b*&%$#"...... You need to pray at work.
When you take some vacation time and come back to find a
mountain of paperwork sitting on your desk because no one
else would do it and you think, "sorry a## M#$^%F%
&#s"........You need to pray at work.
If you have ever thought about poisoning, choking,
punching, slapping or flattening someone's tires that you
work with......You need to pray at work.
If you avoid saying more than hello or how are you doing
to someone because you know it's going to lead to their
life story .......You need to pray at work.
If you know all the words that have been bleeped out.. You
need to pray at work!
LET US ALL BOW OUR HEADS
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Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly 
misskitty