03-08-2004, 04:09 AM #291
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to
thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They
planned to stay at the very same hotel where they
spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to
coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband
left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with
his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a
computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail
to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one
letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing
his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just
returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a
minister of many years who was called home to glory
following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to
check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives
and friends. After reading the first message, she
fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found
his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2002
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have
computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails
to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been
checked in. I see that everything has been prepared
for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing
you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine
P.S. Sure is hot down here!
03-08-2004, 04:11 AM #292
Leaving Montreal, I decide to stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go into the washroom. The first stall is taken, so I go into the second stall. I had just sat down when I hear a voice from the other stall. Hi there, how is it going? Okay, I am not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to do, but finally I say: Not bad. Then the voice says: So, what are you doing? I am starting to find this a bit weird, but I say: Well, I'm going back east. Then I hear the person, all flustered, say: Look, I'll call you back. Every time I ask you a question, this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me!!!
03-08-2004, 08:43 PM #293
I like the first one Marley
03-12-2004, 03:59 PM #294
Originally Posted by Missin Dave
Why did the cookie go to the hospital???????
He felt crumby.......
Why did the Lion spit out the clown????????????
He tasted funny.......
03-12-2004, 04:50 PM #295
We have a lot of funny FORT members here!
03-12-2004, 05:13 PM #296
Q. How do you make somebody a saint?
A: Beat the hell out of them.
...so now you can say you were doing them a favor ;-)
03-12-2004, 07:37 PM #297
WASHINGTON, DC (Reuters)
Early this morning a devastating fire burned down the personal library of President George. W. Bush.
Tragically, both books were lost in the conflagration. More poignantly, the President, due to his hectic schedule, had not found time to color in the second one.
03-12-2004, 09:45 PM #298
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional
booth, sits down but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get
his attention but the drunk just sits there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles,"ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."
03-12-2004, 11:49 PM #299
03-13-2004, 08:32 PM #300
I liked these. Theyre kinda mean but does get its humor across...
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