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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1531
    FORT Fogey Punkin's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    That's really funny, Pikachu! I have three Tuxedos and if one got lost I could take a pic of one of the others for a "Lost" photo.

  2. #1532
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    I've seen a different version of that picture. I'm starting to wonder if it's just a hoax. I never considered it could be two different cats.
    lost cat.jpg
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    Count your blessings!

  3. #1533
    FORT Fogey Punkin's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    You're right, Gut, each of our Tuxedos have slightly different markings, and the cat in the joke seemed to be sitting in exactly the same pose. (I wish I could pull that off in my window!) But we got a laugh because there are a couple of the triplets that we need to see from behind (hind leg markings) before we are sure who has just walked by.

    Oh boy! Big Brother is about to come back. I'm going to have to hear (not here, necessarily) the term "old cat ladies". But somehow, over the years, I've warmed to it!
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  4. #1534
    FORT Fogey MsDiva2007's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Three blond men were stranded on one side of a wide river and did'n't know how to get across. The first man prayed to God to make him smart
    enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turned him into a brown-haired man and he swam across.

    The second man prayed to God to make him even smarter, so God turned him into a dark-haired man and he built a boat and rowed across.

    The third man prayed to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turned him into a woman and she walked across the bridge.
    Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
    Martin Luther King, Jr.

  5. #1535
    9/11/2001 NEVER FORGET. Bookworm Champion Eastcoastmom's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    No one believes seniors . . . Everyone thinks they are senile.
    An Elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
    Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved 'I love you, Sally.'
    On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money-- fifty-thousand dollars.
    Andy said, 'We've got to give it back.'
    Sally said , 'Finders keepers.' She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
    The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door..
    'Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?'
    Sally said, 'No.'
    Andy said, 'She's lying. She hid it up in the attic.'
    Sally said, 'Don't believe him, he's getting senile.'
    The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.
    One says: 'Tell us the story from the beginning'
    Andy said, 'Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday. '
    The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, 'We're outta here.'

  6. #1536
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Too cute!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  7. #1537
    Best Ever Pool Runner Angry Birds Champion, Rancho Ice Racer Champion pikachu's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    I was looking for an image for the Face Off pool and came across this. I thought it was funny.


  8. #1538
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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    Count your blessings!

  9. #1539
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Excellent!
    Gutmutter likes this.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  10. #1540
    9/11/2001 NEVER FORGET. Bookworm Champion Eastcoastmom's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Buddha walks into a pizza shop and says "make me One with everything."
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