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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1481
    9/11/2001 NEVER FORGET. Ten Pin Bowling Champion, Bookworm Champion Eastcoastmom's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Sophia just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Sophia. Luigi's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you."

    So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luigi took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophia ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luigi's got a big hairy chest."

    "Don't worry, Sophia", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."
    So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luigi took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophia ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luigi took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!"

    "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luigi's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you."
    So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luigi took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophia saw this, she ran downstairs.
    "Mama, Mama, Luigi's got a foot and a half!"
    "Stay here and stir the pasta", says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"
    Ellen, Brooks, echo226 and 1 others like this.

  2. #1482
    Me and my shadow Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Ha! I wondered where that joke was going.
    Count your blessings!

  3. #1483
    FORT Fogey Punkin's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    This YouTube video is of a preschool dance recital. One little dancer is off on her own choreography.

    Menina se diverte com coreografia própria - YouTube

    I just wish I could dance like that!

  4. #1484
    FORT Fogey Photobabe's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by Punkin View Post
    This YouTube video is of a preschool dance recital. One little dancer is off on her own choreography.

    Menina se diverte com coreografia própria - YouTube

    I just wish I could dance like that!
    When I clicked on it I got a message saying "This video is private".
    Whoever said diamonds are a girls best friend...never owned a dog.

  5. #1485
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    I had no trouble with it, but that was yesterday. The one child is losing her mind!! Such joy and glee!!!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  6. #1486
    All Summer-y Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    The video is now under copyright infringement challenge and not available.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  7. #1487
    Mr. (Not so) Perfect Snake 3D Champion, Bouncing Balls Champion
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Ellen and Photobabe like this.

  8. #1488
    Mr. (Not so) Perfect Snake 3D Champion, Bouncing Balls Champion
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    I was in the public toilets and had just sat down,
    a voice from the next cubicle
    said “Hi!, how are you?”
    Embarrassed, I said, “I’m doing
    fine”.
    The voice said “So what
    are you up to?”.
    I said, “Just doing the same
    as you, sitting here!”.
    From next door, “Can I come
    over?”.
    Annoyed, I said, “rather
    busy right now”.
    The voice said, “Listen,
    I will have to call you back,
    there’s an idiot next door
    answering all my questions”
    Mike'sgirl and Eastcoastmom like this.

  9. #1489
    9/11/2001 NEVER FORGET. Ten Pin Bowling Champion, Bookworm Champion Eastcoastmom's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    One winter morning a husband and wife in southern Winnipeg
    were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say,
    "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."
    So the good wife went out and moved her car.
    A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the
    radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.
    The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the electric power went out.
    The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her
    face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the
    street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, the husband replied,
    "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

  10. #1490
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Shame on me for laughing a really deep chuckle!!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

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