+ Reply to Thread
Page 148 of 154 FirstFirst ... 4898138139140141142143144145146147148149150151152153154 LastLast
Results 1,471 to 1,480 of 1540
Like Tree219Likes

Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1471
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Right Here, Right Now
    Posts
    25,192

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Love it!!!! TOTALLY NUTS!!!!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  2. #1472
    FORT Aficionado echo226's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Stuck in the Middle
    Posts
    8,645

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Thank you all!


    I wish I was blessed with remembering jokes.
    "The way to become boring is to say everything." Voltaire

    " The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated. "
    Mohandas Gandhi

  3. #1473
    Red Sox Nation Brooks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    4,188

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some Cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

    The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
    Ellen, pikachu and Jamie5632 like this.

  4. #1474
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Right Here, Right Now
    Posts
    25,192

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Funny!!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  5. #1475
    FORT Aficionado echo226's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Stuck in the Middle
    Posts
    8,645

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    "The way to become boring is to say everything." Voltaire

    " The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated. "
    Mohandas Gandhi

  6. #1476
    FORT Fogey Photobabe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Too far from the beach
    Posts
    828

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Saw this one on Facebook today.

    A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
    Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?'
    Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long.
    The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh ... I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend.
    Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible.
    She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.
    Frustrated, she started hitting the back side of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
    The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister.
    The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?'
    The little boy replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend.'
    The minister fainted.
    pikachu, just1paul, Hyper and 2 others like this.
    Whoever said diamonds are a girls best friend...never owned a dog.

  7. #1477
    Mr. (Not so) Perfect Snake 3D Champion, Bouncing Balls Champion
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Age
    21
    Posts
    7,834

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    I saw this on Facebook. It's kind of mean but meh.

    "If Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were both drowning and you only had time to save one...

    What kind of sandwich would you make?"
    Ellen, pikachu, just1paul and 1 others like this.

  8. #1478
    FORT Fogey Photobabe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Too far from the beach
    Posts
    828

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best -- because it makes football make sense!

    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their
    team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

    "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

    Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

    "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
    I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"
    prhoshay, Ellen, shyra and 4 others like this.
    Whoever said diamonds are a girls best friend...never owned a dog.

  9. #1479
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    In Ms. Troubles life and apartment
    Age
    56
    Posts
    9,544

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyK View Post
    I saw this on Facebook. It's kind of mean but meh.

    "If Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were both drowning and you only had time to save one...

    What kind of sandwich would you make?"
    I am laughing.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  10. #1480
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    In Ms. Troubles life and apartment
    Age
    56
    Posts
    9,544

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by photobabe View Post
    of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best -- because it makes football make sense!

    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their
    team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

    "oh, i really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but i just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

    dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "what do you mean?"

    "well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
    i'm like...helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"
    hahahaha
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.