+ Reply to Thread
Like Tree220Likes

Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1191
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Right Here, Right Now
    Posts
    25,324

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Shame on you, Gut....and THAT WAS REALLY GOOD!!!!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  2. #1192
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    3,766

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Amen, Gut!

  3. #1193
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    salt lake city ut
    Age
    43
    Posts
    19,108

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Gut, that was classic.
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

  4. #1194
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Enchanted by a beautiful Soprano
    Posts
    3,163

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    I don't get it
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

  5. #1195
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Enchanted by a beautiful Soprano
    Posts
    3,163

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Performance-Evaluation Quotes

    "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

    "His men would follow him anywhere but only out of morbid curiosity."

    "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

    "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

    "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

    "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

    "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

    "This employee should go far, and the sooner the better."

    "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

    "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

    "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

    "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

    "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled."
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

  6. #1196
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Right Here, Right Now
    Posts
    25,324

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Love it and WILL use it!!!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  7. #1197
    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    6,133

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Performance-Evaluation Quotes
    Change "employee" to "student," and I could have used most of these at the middle schools where I taught in Milwaukee!
    "There's no crying in baseball!"
    -- Tom Hanks, A League of Their Own

  8. #1198
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Right Here, Right Now
    Posts
    25,324

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    I sent Newf's post to a friend. She replied with 2 words..........George Bush.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  9. #1199
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Enchanted by a beautiful Soprano
    Posts
    3,163

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    A couple of Newf originals from many years ago . . .

    "I've had employees who would storm the gates of Hell for me. I've also had others who already had their own keys."

    "If it wasn't for flying blind, he'd never get off the ground"
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

  10. #1200
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    In Ms. Troubles life and apartment
    Age
    56
    Posts
    9,544

    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by Newfherder;3171191;
    A couple of Newf originals from many years ago . . .

    "I've had employees who would storm the gates of Hell for me. I've also had others who already had their own keys."

    "If it wasn't for flying blind, he'd never get off the ground"
    Hilarious Newfherder! I haven't been to this thread for a while.

    Now here is one I just received:

    Subject: Need a laugh





    A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.



    'You know what?' says the 6 year old. 'I think it's about time we started cussing. The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass.' The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

    When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, 'Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.' WHACK! He flies out of his chair,tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, 'You can stay there until I let you out!'



    She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, 'And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?



    'I don't know, he blubbers, 'but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!'

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.