Jokes & Funnies

[prhoshay]

Shame on you, Gut....and THAT WAS REALLY GOOD!!!!

[famita]

Amen, Gut!

[dagwood]

Gut, that was classic.

[Newfherder]

I don't get it

[Newfherder]

Performance-Evaluation Quotes

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere but only out of morbid curiosity."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"This employee should go far, and the sooner the better."

"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

"I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled."

[prhoshay]

Love it and WILL use it!!!

[Ellen]

Performance-Evaluation Quotes

Change "employee" to "student," and I could have used most of these at the middle schools where I taught in Milwaukee!

[prhoshay]

I sent Newf's post to a friend. She replied with 2 words..........George Bush.

[Newfherder]

A couple of Newf originals from many years ago . . .

"I've had employees who would storm the gates of Hell for me. I've also had others who already had their own keys."

"If it wasn't for flying blind, he'd never get off the ground"

[just1paul]

A couple of Newf originals from many years ago . . .

"I've had employees who would storm the gates of Hell for me. I've also had others who already had their own keys."

"If it wasn't for flying blind, he'd never get off the ground"

Hilarious Newfherder! I haven't been to this thread for a while.

Now here is one I just received:

Subject: Need a laugh




A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.



'You know what?' says the 6 year old. 'I think it's about time we started cussing. The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass.' The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, 'Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.' WHACK! He flies out of his chair,tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, 'You can stay there until I let you out!'



She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, 'And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?



'I don't know, he blubbers, 'but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!'