Jokes & Funnies

[Tinkerbell1130]

I have no problem with this
If Women Ruled The World

[bbnbama]

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.

Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.

What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mom said.

With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he said in a small voice, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

[bbnbama]

Dave's Confession

Dave walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His wife is lying in bed and replies
"I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

The man says
"I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you."

[bbnbama]

Can you tell I'm going through all my emails

Subj: 7 kinds of sex

Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you have
sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you
are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex
has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass
each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex,
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun
at night.(Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court
and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least,
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex,
You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy your self.

[CantGetNuf]

bbnbama those are hilarious!!

misskitty I got that joke off of a local geocaching forum here in Alabama. So if you have a geocaching friend who lives in AL then we just might know the same people.

[famita]

bbnbama, I had to laugh at the Dave joke-that's my boss's name.....I roared!!!!

[misskitty]

[MsDiva2007]

Fatherhood

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says, "Hello."

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

[Newfherder]

I hate it when that happens

[Bonbonlover]

MissDiva... that was great!!