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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1021
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Thanks for the funnies! I need all the laughs I can get this week.
    Yup, with donuts!!

  2. #1022
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Great laughs!

    (I'm still thinking about how the guy on the left could hold it in so far and so long!)

  3. #1023
    MRD
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    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    I love Maxine!!!!

    The guy holding his breath was too funny.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  4. #1024
    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Can you ever get too much Maxine?







    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

  5. #1025
    FORT Fogey CantGetNuf's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    During these serious times, people of all faiths should remember these four religious truths:

    1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.


    2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.


    3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.


    4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters or the liquor store.

  6. #1026
    FORT Fogey Bonbonlover's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

    When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

    One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

    Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
    Okay I love FORT's casino, but I really am not very good. If anyone wants to donate their FORT $$ I would gladly accept http://www.fansofrealitytv.com/forum....php?do=donate

  7. #1027
    It's not easy being green Toad's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by Bonbonlover;2758407;
    Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

    When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

    One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

    Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
    So what happened? I like this one (I did have to read it twice)
    Ribbitt

  8. #1028
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    That video of the guy holding in his stomach gave me a coughing fit...and then I got dizzy!! These things ought to come with health warnings!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  9. #1029
    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    CantGetNuf: I just got that one in an e-mail...do we know someone similar?

    bonbonlover: Women are just so smart!

    --------------------

    YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...

    1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

    2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

    3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

    4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

    5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

    6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

    7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

    8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

    10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

    11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

    12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

    13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

    14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

    15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

    NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

  10. #1030
    kissin cousins Sherri's Avatar
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    Re: Jokes & Funnies

    misskitty,
    I love it and I could relate to everyone of them. I just don't know if that's funny or really pathetic!

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