+ Reply to Thread
Page 10 of 154 FirstFirst 123456789101112131415161718192060110 ... LastLast
Results 91 to 100 of 1537
Like Tree207Likes

Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #91
    can i have your heart? unexplained's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Singapore
    Age
    29
    Posts
    2,309
    You select the person you want to be with, and then you let that person have the opportunity to select you. -Shayla

    "The mind is its own place, and in it, self can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n." -John Milton, Paradise Lost.

  2. #92
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    2,440
    The sad thing is that I cheated and didn't even get that workout, because I just pressed Page Down...

  3. #93
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    7,545

  4. #94
    I need to get out more bloonman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    mostly in my head
    Posts
    467
    Hello, everybody!

    Okay, here's one...

    The girl came skipping home from school one day.
    "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and
    all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde."

    The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
    "Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? a, b, c, d, e, f, g!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde."

    The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
    "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25.

    "I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

  5. #95
    Why Not Us? greenie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Shhh it's a secret
    Age
    38
    Posts
    3,420
    bloony!
    Who shot who in the what now?

  6. #96
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Dublin, OH
    Posts
    26,558
    Finally a male blonde joke -

    A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
    "What's up?" he says.
    "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
    He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
    The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
    "You rotten SOB ," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

  7. #97
    I need to get out more bloonman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    mostly in my head
    Posts
    467

    Good one, Unkelscott!

    "I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

  8. #98
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    2,440
    How did the blonde try to kill the worm?

    She buried it alive.

    -------------------

    One day this blonde walked into a store and said
    "I`d like to buy that TV."
    The salesman said "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
    The blonde went home and dyed her hair red. She went back to
    the store and said "I`d like to buy that TV."
    "Sorry we don't sell to blondes." The man replied again.
    She went and dyed her hair black, then returned to the store
    and said "I`d like to buy that TV."
    Again the man said "Sorry we don't sell to blondes."
    The blonde finally asks "How did you know I was a blonde?"
    The man said "Because that`s not a TV its a microwave."

    -----------------------------------------

    Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?
    A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a porche.

    -------------------------------------

    Q: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
    A: Last years hide and seek winner.

  9. #99
    can i have your heart? unexplained's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Singapore
    Age
    29
    Posts
    2,309
    Good blonde jokes.
    You select the person you want to be with, and then you let that person have the opportunity to select you. -Shayla

    "The mind is its own place, and in it, self can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n." -John Milton, Paradise Lost.

  10. #100
    I need to get out more bloonman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    mostly in my head
    Posts
    467


    Signs you're bored at work:
    • You've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for
      2003.
    • You've figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island.
    • People come into your office only to borrow pencils from your
      ceiling.
    • No longer content with merely photocopying your butt, you now
      scan and enhance it with Photoshop.
    • You now require only a single can of cola to belch the names of
      all seven Dwarfs.
    • The 4th Division of Paper clips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry, and General White-Out has called for reinforcements.

    "I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.