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Thread: Wedding stories??

  1. #1
    Hockey is life! EvaLaruefan's Avatar
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    Mar 2003

    Wedding stories??

    Almost everyone has sone kind of wedding story to tell, so let's share them. Whether the wife was left standing alone at the altar, or she tripped on her dress and fell etc..., let's hear them.

    I'll start with my wedding, the day was great and we had a blast at the hall. The only problem was I had a 6 ft. train and didn't want to have to go to the washroom cuz it would take 30 minutes, so smart little me decided "I won't drink anything all night", of course dehydration never seemed to be an option right?
    So my hubby and I danced literally all night and I survived on 1 sip of 7/Up, not to mention I missed the whole meal cuz I was on the dance floor all night. The only thing I ate was a peach.

    Well lo and behold the guests were leaving and I was feeling REAL dizzy. I thought I was just tired. Came home, fell asleep with my headpiece on and all, and couldn't even lift myself up at 7a.m. Hubby had to call 9/11 and I was taken to the hospital. Upon my arrival a stupid nurse says to her colleague "Oh another drunk bride" .(I would've knocked her one had I been stronger). Anyways..I spent the day on IV and was totally dehydrated. We missed our flight to Cuba for our honeymoon and had to leave the following week instead, so we lost a week. And that is my wonderful story...(the baby's crying, must end here, bye guys!!)

  2. #2
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    Sep 2002
    right behind you
    Wow. I've never heard a story like that one!

    I had 2 weddings. The first time my Hubby and I wed it was by a judge. We had been driving around for hours looking for an apartment. It was so frustrating because the only one's we could afford were in neighborhoods that were.... well... not so nice. Bars on the windows, hookers in the stairwells... ya know.

    So my husband says "wanna give up the hunt for today and just go get married?"

    I said "OK"

    We got the license, stopped at his folks house to freshen up and ran into his brother who had taken a day off work and was about to go play racquetball with his buddy, so instead they came to the wedding. Right before we left his sister called and had stayed home from work, so she came too.

    For the record We had been planning on getting married for a long time... so long in fact that our oldest was in the stroller and I was 51/2 months pregnant with our 2nd.

    I know the judge was thinking "oh, great... this one will never last"

    That was almost 16 years ago

    I was so nervous at the second wedding (the one with all the family and friends) that I didn’t eat at all. Then on the drive to the beach we stopped at McDonalds (my request) and I ordered 2 ¼ pounders w/ cheese, large fries, large shake, and an apple pie (that was when I was an omnivore).
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  3. #3
    Queen Chloe Harmoj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Oh Go Away

    I know this is long...but it's too funny

    My Dad is a minister, and was usually asked to bring his family to any of the weddings he performed. I’ve been to quite a few weddings but there is one wedding that I don’t think I will ever forget.

    It was late 80’s, and both families were members of the church where my Dad was the pastor. We knew the bride well, and we were all looking forward to the wedding. It was to be a small informal wedding, on a very tight budget, so the couple enlisted as many people from the church they could find. My mom baked their cake, and my sister and I said we would help with the flowers. It looked like it would be a wonderful wedding. Two weeks before the service my Dad came home from a counseling appointment and said that the couple forgot about music, and that they might be calling on me to sing.

    When the news of the lack of musicians got around the church, probably by the bride’s mother, one of the older ladies, Velma, volunteered to sing. The bride was so overwhelmed by the other planning details she agreed, without question, to Velma’s offer to sing and pick out the music. She asked that her daughter be allowed to play piano for her, and everything was taken care of.

    The day of the wedding dawned sunny and bright and the church was decorated beautifully. The guests arrived to the soft tones of classical music, played by Velma’s daughter, and the church buzzed with hushed excitement. When it was time to start my dad signaled Velma to begin the song that the mother’s would be seated to. She struggled through “Sunrise, Sunset” a little off key, but not too bad. The groom and his party came out, and we all stood for the entrance of the bride. What happened next, none of us expected.

    Instead of the lovely strains of Mendelssohn’s Wedding March, we were greeted with the first few bars of Dinah Shore’s “Sentimental Journey”. All the heads in the church turned from the bride to the piano where Velma was starting to sing. The bride, chin up, started down toward the alter with her dad in tow. Little waves of giggles started to be heard as Velma continued to belt out Sentimental Journey. A quick glance at the groom showed the beginning of tears as he tried very hard not to laugh. All of us tried to focus on the bride and not listen to the off key tones of Velma plodding through the song. The bride managed to get to the alter without crying, but she did shoot a look of death at Velma that made her stop in mid note. The pianist continued playing for a few bars until she realized that her mother wasn’t playing anymore.

    The wedding continued without anymore music. After the service Velma apologized to the bride saying that she didn’t realize that she wanted wedding music…that the only song Velma knew was Sentimental Journey.

    My family held it all in until we got into the car, when my sister started to say….Gonna take a sentimental journey….I don’t think I laughed that hard in my entire life!

  4. #4
    Reformed Perfectionist G.G.'s Avatar
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    Apr 2003
    Lake Wildwood, CA
    Heh heh...the GrammarGoddess had a mortifying moment on her wedding day! In our programs, instead of just listing the order of the ceremony, we told a little bit about everyone in the wedding so people would know how they fit into the grand scheme of our life.

    My former spouse had two best friends, and rather than deciding which should be his best man, he had co-best men. In the program, we said something about the 3 of them being the definition of male bonding.

    Morning of the ceremony, the printer called and had lost the soft copy file I'd sent. In a mad rush, I tried to recreate the file at home rather than drive to work where it was saved on the computer, and I actually remembered everything pretty well. Got the programs in time, all was ok.

    After the ceremony, in the receiving line, one of the "best men" mentioned that he and Terry had a great time the night before reminiscing, etc (Terry stayed at his buddy's so he wouldn't see the bride on the wedding day). I heard all about playing poker, how great it was to hang out, etc, but was bracing myself for the bad news - that Terry farted in his sleep or something equally embarrassing, but what Payne said was, "I'm really glad we got a chance to hang out before the big day, but I want you to know, there was NO MALE BONING going on. When I looked confused, he showed me the program. MAJOR TYPO...and since "boning" is a word, like boning knife, spell check didn't catch it.


  5. #5
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    The mitten state
    My wedding was perfect...no problems at all

    Well little things. Like my husband's frat boy groomsmen getting one of my bridemaid friends so drunk she ended up out in her car sleeping, a friend of mine from high school taking off with my married photographer to another car in the parking lot, another old frat boy dumped a beer down my back, another ofb decided to dip me when dancing and dropped me on the floor, and then a group of ofb decided to take one of the huge balloon towers that decorated the hall and shove it in our car. Since the thing was about 10 feet with tons of helium balloons and we were really close to the airport, my husband didn't want to let it go, so at 1 am we were standing in the parking lot popping balloons.

    But other then that, everything was perfect
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  6. #6
    The race is back! John's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    On the mat
    Other than my best man tripping on the diaz steps and one of my other groomsmen having chickenpox, we had an uneventful wedding. Perhaps made most surreal by having my father bring porno tapes to my bachelor party, but whatever.

  7. #7
    Picture Perfect SnowflakeGirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    In the Limelight
    Surreal would be your father performing in the video tapes at your bachelor party.

    BTW, my wedding day was perfect except I was angry that I missed eating all the hors d'oeuvres during the cocktail hour (because I was freezing my tuchis off, having wedding party photos taken on the beach). Also, I'd gained some weight after the fitting for my gown, so my cleavage was busting out of my bodice a bit more than I'd expected. Some drunk cousin from my hubby's side kept making boob jokes all evening, like "Nice pair...of earrings, HAR HAR." And, captured for posterity on our wedding video is footage of my husband's sister poking one of my breasts to see if they were real. Oh yeah, that's something to show my grandkids.
    Sending good vibes and warm fuzzies your way..., SnowflakeGirl
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  8. #8
    can i have your heart? unexplained's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Oh gosh SnowflakeGirl. At least, you survived.
    You select the person you want to be with, and then you let that person have the opportunity to select you. -Shayla

    "The mind is its own place, and in it, self can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n." -John Milton, Paradise Lost.

  9. #9
    RESIDENT JEDI MASTER Stargazer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    On a Rocky Mountain High
    Well, I had to dig this thread up and dust it off. Lucy said something about catching the bouquet and I was inspired to tell about the antics at my wedding. Mad scramble for the bouquet? Not exactly.

    I was a unromantic realist that swore I would never get married. My friends were the same way and reveled in their singleness. Then I met my now husband. They were a bit alarmed by how fast things had gotten serious between my husband and I and were not anxious to get into serious relationships themselves.

    So, when it came time for me to toss the bouquet, I had four 'happy to be single' bachelorettes and two lesbians lined up behind me. My dad (who was a photographer) stood at the ready to take the classic pic of the bridesmaid scuffle. I threw the bouquet in a high arc, it sailed toward my friends...and no one moved. It hit the ground without anyone even twitching. Laughter ensued, we tried again...it hit the ground again. By this time, the bouquet was looking bedraggled and my dad was getting annoyed. After a few more attempts (with half-hearted grasps by the girls), we finally gave up and staged the picture.
    "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda

    "I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson

  10. #10
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Playing kickball for the beer
    I'm glad you dug this up, Stargazer! I'm laughing out loud at some of these stories, especially GrammarGoddess'.

    Being a single gal, I have no wedding stories of my own. But last year my best friend got married. At the reception, another friend of ours decided to tell the bride's father all about how this friend had competed in amateur night at a local strip club a few years ago and how the bride (and I) had accompanied her for moral support. (so did the bride's brother and uncle, both of whom were at the wedding and were leering at the amateur-stripper friend all evening).
    I thought the father, a very religious, conservative man, would choke. And I thought the bride would murder this "friend."
    Last edited by Lucy; 12-05-2003 at 01:27 PM.
    It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins

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