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Thread: Stupid Criminals *Add your fav stories*

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    I have a dream too! Sepialove's Avatar
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    Stupid Criminals *Add your fav stories*

    It never seizes to amaze me what people will do in when it comes to crime, but some stories are so funny I had to share.
    ______________________________ ______________________________ _

    Man accused of taking son on bank heist
    JACKSON, Miss. Caleb Laforrest Pete might consider hiring a babysitter next time he robs a bank.

    Police say Pete, 41, brought along his 3-year-old son when he robbed a local bank, and the boy slowed him down so much he got caught.

    Pete was arrested shortly after he allegedly robbed a Community Bank branch. Authorities say Pete brought his son into the bank and handed the teller a note demanding money. After the teller placed an undisclosed amount of money in a duffel bag, Pete ran out, prodding his son to keep up, police said.

    The boy, however, slowed him down long enough for passersby to notice him making his getaway in a waiting cab. Police caught him a short time later. His wife and a 5-month-old daughter also were in the car. The wife was not charged and neither was the 3-year-old.

    The children are now in custody of the state human services.
    ______________________________ ______________________________ _

    Also, there was this couple that decided to break into vending machines around their town. He got caught and needed to be bailed out. I think it was about $750. Anyway, the girlfriend shows up at the police station with the bail money....you guessed it.....in two huge bags of QUARTERS!
    The police arrested her as well. *sigh*

    ______________________________ ______________________________ _

    Can we get these people a rush copy of CRIMES4DUMMIES?

    Does anyone have any stories they would like to share?
    Last edited by Sepialove; 07-17-2003 at 02:04 PM.
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    The new me! Feifer's Avatar
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    I heard of a man who broke out of jail and walked across the street to call his girlfriend to come pick him up. He had forgotten her number and needed to call information. He dialled 911 instead of 411 and hung up when he realized what he had done. THEN he dialed 411 and got the number for his GF. He called her and was on the phone for 10 minutes when the police rolled up and took him into custody. He was still wearing his orange jail scrubs and slippers.
    It occurred to me that no matter how bleak things might seem at times, at least I have a head. ----Stargazer

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    I used to work in a large discount department store where my friend was the head of "Loss prevention". One day at lunch she told me she had just nabbed four guys for trying to steal a canoe!

    The thing was they would have gotten away with it except she nabbed them when they came back in the store to steal the paddle!

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    So Far Away Yellow Apple's Avatar
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    I read a story once about some guy who worked in an auto garage. He had just gotten off work and was apparently pissed off about his job and decided he was going to rob a bank and run away. So anyway, he went to this one bank and held it up with a pistol. He made off with a large amount of cash and went home to get ready to leave town. Not too long after, the cops came knocking on his door. You see, even though the guy wore a ski mask to rob the bank, he was still wearing his work shirt that had his name on it. The security cameras caught this on tape and it was a simple matter of contacting his employer and getting his address to track him down.

    I also read about some bank robbers in Europe somewhere that were equally as stupid. Not long after their heist, which netted them millions of dollars, one of them went and bought a mansion, and paid cash for it. The suspicious realtors contacted the authorities.

    How pathetic do you have to be when you're not even a good criminal?
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    mantenna for AI3! blindart's Avatar
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    Yesterday in my town a guy robbed a bank. His getaway car had a vanity plate "Lawfull" - kind of easy to spot. The cops traced it and beat him back to his own house (1/2 mile from mine).

    He was then dumb enough to ram his car into a cop car - now 3 police are in the hospital. He must have known he wasn't getting away at that point ... not sure what was in his head.

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    I have a dream too! Sepialove's Avatar
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    Yep. That was STOOPID!
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    Leo
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    Okay, here's a story I heard about a few years ago.

    To fully understand the story, I have to explain one thing: the main public transport means here is what we call the jeepney. For the purposes of this dumb crook, the important part is that most of the people (around twenty) sit in two benches at the benches on both sides of the vehicle, behind the driver and facing each other. So, as you can imagine, it's not the most comfortable thing.

    Now, the dumb crook story: one fine night, a crook decided to rob the passengers of a jeepney of their valuables. So, he gets on one of them, and at some point, one of the passengers feels something against their waist. Turns out it's our "wise" crook robbing her, threatening to use the "knife" he's holding against our victim if she resisted. Well, unfortunately for him, the "knife" falls... and it turns out to have just been a beer bottle tucked under his shirt.

    Naturally, he was caught... but only after he had been beaten a bit by the jeepney's angry driver and passengers.

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    Glad 4 Vlad! :) Tigrazhia's Avatar
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    This was on America's Dumbest Criminals I think.

    A guy had held up a liqour store or something like that, and when the cops arrived he took off running.
    He ran into the forest & it was pretty dark and that would maybe have been a clever move....normally.

    HOWEVER...the guy was wearing one of these shoes that light up when you walk...or run in this case...so all the cops had to do was follow the blinking red lights.
    "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."

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    So Far Away Yellow Apple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyndemere
    This was on America's Dumbest Criminals I think.

    A guy had held up a liqour store or something like that, and when the cops arrived he took off running.
    He ran into the forest & it was pretty dark and that would maybe have been a clever move....normally.

    HOWEVER...the guy was wearing one of these shoes that light up when you walk...or run in this case...so all the cops had to do was follow the blinking red lights.


    I think I saw that on "COPS" one time. Or it was something similar. The guy the cops were chasing was wearing those same type shoes and it was night. I remember screaming "take off the shoes, idiot!"
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    Hypermediocrity Amanda's Avatar
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    Okay, here's one. This happened to my boyfriend a few years ago.

    He was walking down an alley here in Chicago, coming from the El. There was a guy standing at the end of the alley who looked like a crackhead and/or homeless. Boyfriend thinks "Oh hell, he's going to ask for money.", because if you spend enough time downtown, you can count on getting solicited a thousand times a day. So he gets close to this guy, who says to him "Give me your wallet." Boyfriend sizes him up, realizes that he probably had a good 50 lbs on the guy and says "No." The guy says "Give me your wallet or I'll have my dog attack you." Boyfriend notices that this guy has the most pitiful looking little Beagle with him, who is busy sniffing around at garbage. Realizes that this dog would probably be a threat to nothing other than the discarded pizza crusts in the trash, so he says no again. The guy reaches into his coat. Boyfriend thinks "Oh sh*t, I'm going to have to give this guy my wallet after all." Guy starts to pull his hand out of his coat, saying "I'll stab you." Boyfriend is sweating now.

    Until he sees that the guy is holding a Bic pen. Yeah, that's gonna do some damage.

    Boyfriend laughs and walks away.

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