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Thread: What's the Worst Vacation you have ever been on?

  1. #1
    Im ready for my closeup.. Tallulahbaby's Avatar
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    What's the Worst Vacation you have ever been on?

    I love hearing bad vacation stories! I just got back from a 2 week Hawaii vacation (Maui and Kauai). We went to a wedding on Maui and one of our friends got the window of there rental car smashed, while they went swimming in a waterfall! Then after they called the police, and on there way back to their hotel, they got rear-ended, and my girlfriend Crystal who is pregnant started contracting....poor things. But everthing ended up being okay.
    Now personally my worst vacation nightmare was when my husband and i missed our flight to mexico...(his mother's fault) but our luggage was on the plane. We were able to catch another flight to LAX. When we got to LA, we were stuck 2 hours at the United Counter. Luckily the supervisor name Osama (really) helped us out printed up new tix and we stayed over nite at a hotel. While at the hotel i inspected the tix. WHen he reprinted them, he forgot to included our flight out of Ixtapa to mexico city!!!! I started freaking out, told my husband we had to wake up early to go back to the United counter to get this fixed. I started thinking what if he wasnt there, and it was just some random person? They wouldn't know what the heck we were talking about!!! So we get back at LAX at 5am....im sweating bullets....guess who was at the counter OSAMA!!!! THank god.
    He resolves the problem gives us new tix....and upgrades for the way back...We catch our flight to Mexico City..Go to the Mexicana counter to check in for the last leg of our flight....We are told the flight doesnt exist!!! I was so damn tired at this point....I got really pissed and said in Spanish...You better fix this and fix it now!!
    I guess it worked! We got a flight to Ixtapa on AeroMexico... We arrived at the airport...Our luggage was sitting safely in customs..and it turned out we missed the hurricane by one day!!!!!!!
    We did have a wonderful vacation....
    Can wait to hear other peoples stories!!!
    Coco Magdalena made her debut Sept 2, 2006 7lbs 1oz!!!

    "Daddy warned me about Men and Booze, but didn't say anything about Women and Cocaine" - Tallulah Bankhead

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey joeguy's Avatar
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    Gee, never really had a bad vacation, just one incident where i found out the hard way that the manifold heads on my car were warped and didn't know it till i got into the cold weather while driving from cocoa beach fl. to seattle. car finally broke down in boseman montana. took it to the dealer ship there and they tried to screw me out of labor costs to "replace the head gaskets" till I pointed out that it was still under warrenty. had to stay the night while they got parts from Helena dealer. got it the next day and took off for home, didn't know they didn't fix it right till I stopped for gas and the trouble started up. lucky for me as I traveled, the weather got warmer. took the car into my dealer and they found the manifold heads had warped so the gasket fix wasn't the problem. The fixed it for free because I had saved the receipt for the part of the fix I had to pay. $100. they replaced everything for me.

  3. #3
    would rather be cruising! marybethp's Avatar
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    A bad day on a vacation is still better than a good day at work. So, I'll say I've never had a bad vacation!!

  4. #4
    Ready? haejin's Avatar
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    Let's see...there was this one time where I went to Niagra Falls with my family about 2 years ago (we went with a bus tour company).

    We got lost on the way there. Then after the first stop, who were stuck there for about 2 hours. Then the bus driver got lost on the way to the hotel. Then, at the hotel, I couldn't find my hotel room. And when we did, the access card didn't work.

    So we spent half the night between testing the card and going to the front desk to have it scanned.

    The rest of the trip went without incident, but on the way back, the driver got lost AGAIN! We got back to Queens maybe 3 hours later than we could have.

    But other than the getting lost and the waiting, the vacation wasn't that horrible
    Gustav Holst was right!

  5. #5
    FORT Fogey MollyRose's Avatar
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    Well, I've never had a whole vacation that was bad, but I've had a couple of rough days while on vacation:

    Three years ago my kids and I drove to Las Vegas in July...while it was 121 degrees out...and the air conditioner broke. Now the area outside of Las Vegas near Hoover Dam is the most desolate, harsh, vegetation-free, rocky, barren, miserable place on the planet. The traffic was so bad that it took us 2 hours to move about 4 miles...with no AC...in 121 degree heat. My daughter was having an asthma attack it was so hot. I was rubbing ice all over my face, arms, chest when my son said "Mommy, the men in that car next to us are STARING at you!"

    Then last year on my way to Hawaii with two girlfriends, I missed our plane from LA (was having lunch with a different friend) and had to spend two days in LA before I could get another flight to HI. My girlfriends couldn't believe I wasn't on the flight -- thought I was dead in Los Angeles somewhere.

    Then on the flight back from HI, we were half way across the Pacific when the pilot came on the intercome "Folks, we have a little fire on board, so we're going to turn around and go back to Honolulu"! It was only a short in the bathroom light fixture, but we flew two hours back thinking we would burst into flames at any moment. When we finally got that fixed, and flew to LA we had missed our connecting flight and had to spend 8 hours in the airport, but since we had our baggage, couldn't go past the check-in and there was NO WHERE to even sit down. Literally, not a chair, not a bench. Ended up being up for about 36 hours with no sleep, stressed, lugging suitcases. Oh, it was bad.

  6. #6
    Loaded God Complex MajiH's Avatar
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    Oh, that's an easy one! I even wrote a column on it once. Here it is:

    ********

    I wasn’t going to recount this story. Some of what I am about to relay to you could very well lead to unmerciful phone calls from familial Grandmothers who will advise me I am a washout as a parental unit. Then something occurred to me.


    I’m a humor writer.


    As a humor writer, I’m a broad with broad hips and an imagination to match. I defy any of you, most notably the Grandmas, to pick out the precise actualities of this tale or what I am fabricating. Thus said, here we go.


    Space Mountain.


    Ring a bell?


    My first rendezvous with Space Mountain, AKA The Alp of Vomit, was at age twelve. As I recollect, this was the one excursion at Disneyland I couldn’t wait to get on. A roller coaster full of death defying, buckling turns, Space Mountain moved at the speed of light and, hot damn, I couldn’t wait to lash my preteen ass into the chair. I also recall that it was enormous fun, I rode it many times that summer, and it was the greatest roller coaster experience of my life.


    Now, let’s flash ahead twenty plus years.


    Imagine me at Disneyland. Please make sure my hair looks dignified and that I’m properly accessorized. Also do your best to visualize the entire male population of that park pursuing me about with protruding tongues while hunched over like those queer dancing fellows from West Side Story.


    See how clever that was? Much more amusing than the correct illustration in which I look like I’ve emerged from the bacchanalia of Alice Cooper’s tour bus. However my husband, who looked tan and buff and quite mountable in his shorts and baseball jersey, spent most of our trip fending off advances from female admirers. In fact, one of them even asked me to hold her Sno Cone so she could run her fingers through his chest hair.


    I don’t have an issue with that. Cheap sluts attempting to snag my man, that is. But as soon as they get their teeth entangled in his thigh hair, well, then I draw the line. Many a woman walked away with a Sno Cone jutting out of their eye that day, I can tell you.


    Onward to Space Mountain.


    I have a child who is three. Perchance the most colossal child ever in history, he tops the charts at the forty two inch ride restriction height for all amusements at any park. What a serendipitous little sap! He was going to ride Space Mountain with Mom and Dad and come out with the finest memories of his diminutive life! Remember, prior to this, his biggest titillation had been streaking unclad across the neighborhood in order to discharge himself on that noisy ice-cream truck, so this journey was going to be, as the hipsters say, “da bomb!”


    Conveniently for us, the wait was short. Within fifteen minutes, we were making our way into our “rocket ship” and arranging for launch. The older two kids sat in the rear, myself and Gargantuan Boy in the front, and my husband and the five year old in the halfway.


    Now, a middle of the road loading of a rocket ship takes but a twinkling or two. As we always endeavor to be distinct, my clan managed to suck up some supplementary loading time as it takes longer to pack my husband into any projectile craft. Standing at 6’6”, the safety bar would not buckle down over his legs.


    Our alternatives? Get off the ride like safety cognizant matriarchs or ride nevertheless and have him stick one leg above the bar. We elected the latter. It was scalding outside and I spotted another bevy of autograph seekers advancing forward to have me preside over more Sno Cones, so I resolved to gamble upon losing him altogether.


    All of us securely in place, and my husband restrained by one lanky leg, we made our way toward the portal of death.


    The first five seconds of the ride were fantastic. Then a few things occurred to me. It was darker than I remembered. It was accelerating quicker than I remembered. It was more earsplitting than I remembered.


    And it distinctly wasn’t as much fun as I remembered.


    As we spat about the ride at an unparalleled three billion miles an hour, the “head rest”, which is conceived to secure your head in place lest you emerge from your junket resembling a rubber chicken, began to mishandle me about the side of my face with each and every turn. My ears were pealing, my eyes were tearing and, by second number six, I was clenching my three year old to me. Pinning him to my chest in a choke hold to keep him from getting sucked from the confines of the rocket and perhaps impaled upon a faux star protruding from the wall, we whipped and squealed about the contours.


    Seemingly, this was not the worst of things. In spite of the fact that we did emerge from the ride operative and with all the children intact, my husband practically crawled from his confines. It appears that, during one of the mightier rotations, the bar we so judiciously placed betwixt his legs racked him in the mojo with such severity that he temporarily blacked out. This was corroborated by my five year old who eloquently advised us,


    “Daddy’s head kept flopping on my shoulder.”


    All was not lost. Whereas we did manage to emotionally blemish our offspring for life, the noteworthy sight of my husband crawling and retching by way of the turn style sent all of the Sno Cone hoochies scampering for cover. I didn’t have to fend off any advances for the balance of the day.


    Mission Accomplished.

  7. #7
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    That is too funny. I've got tears rolling down my cheeks.

  8. #8
    Loaded God Complex MajiH's Avatar
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    Aw, thanks! That's what I write for. To make people laugh! I started a Writers thread out in the forum. I posted another column there if you'd like to read it. I actually have a ton online you can read if you want. Here is the link.

    http://dawghouse.topcities.com/humor.html

  9. #9
    FORT Fogey
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    Worst vacation ever???
    Only one comes to mind... It was just 3 months ago

    My brother, 18, could not stand to be away from his girlfriend for more than a few days during spring break. However, we needed to see my grandparents in Florida, but my parents wanted to use a few of our extra Frequent Flyer Miles before going to Florida. Therefore, my brother stayed at home while my parents and I saw the sights in NY.

    On the way to Florida, we were supposed to stop in Washington DC, transfer planes and then continue to Orlando. When we got onto the plane in DC, we were sitting there for a while, we backed out and then we backed right back in. There was a flat tire so they left us on the plane while we waited for the mechanics to come. And we waited and waited and everyone getting really stressed out.

    One hour later, "I'm sorry, but the mechanic has found something wrong with the engine, therefore we need to get you off the plane." We got off, traveled to the Red Carpet Club where we figured we could get on the next plane. And oh CRAP, it was soldout except for first class. My father travels a lot so he tryed to use some of his upgrades to get us the seats for free. So there we are, stranded in DC, my mom TOTALLY stressing out because we can't get a hold of my brother, my dad arguing with the Red Carpet Club lady , and then theres me. :crybaby 14 year old me worrying about my brother, who we can't get a hold of, who is in a new place with his girlfriend, who is probably wondering (worrying) where we are.

    My father was sooo lucky to get the upgrades, thanks to a wonderful Red Carpet Lady, and we got on the plane. Finally, my father was able to get a hold of my grandmother and she drove out to the airport and picked them up when they arrived. My brother and Caitlin were going down the escalator while Grandmom was going up. Fortunately, my brother saw her and they went out to dinner. 4 hours later, the rest of us arrived, tired and grumpy, but relieved to see my brother safe.

    Well thats my story. and I can assure you, it was NOT fun.
    but it all ended up okay

  10. #10
    can i have your heart? unexplained's Avatar
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    Worst vacation?

    When my brother got sick. It was bad. My brother had terrible headaches and fever, and he is the worst sick person there can ever be. He needed care every single minute and whined throughout the trip.

    Then when we were having dinner at some restraunt, my brother barfed on his plate. It was gross.

    Well, I did my best to have fun though. So, it wasn't that bad.

    Another incident would be when I fell asleep in the tour bus and everyone left without me. I was terrified and worst still, the bus was locked. I sat on the bus steps and prayed all my might, being a four-year old then, that my parents would come back. Suddenly, my cousin knocked on the door and laughed at my fear-stricken face.
    You select the person you want to be with, and then you let that person have the opportunity to select you. -Shayla

    "The mind is its own place, and in it, self can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n." -John Milton, Paradise Lost.

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