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Thread: Why do you do that?( This Thread May contain some non PG-13 material)

  1. #61
    Hypermediocrity Amanda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aliasmq
    Why is it that if a woman is in a higher working position they tend to treat women worse than men.
    Is it the " I'm better than you " syndrome?
    I'm going to take a stab at this one, but a) I don't purport to have any real special knowledge of human dynamics and b) I hate the answer I'm about to give, so I hope some of you will show me why it isn't true.

    I think the scope of this question can be expanded some, into "why are a lot of women generally mean to other women?" This isn't a blanket statement, and it may be the exception rather than the rule. However, it's a pretty prevalent phenomenon, unfortunately. I know a lot of women (mostly younger, but some 30+ year olds as well) who will say without apology that "I don't like women." I tend not to trust these women, but that's just me. Whenever I've tried to discuss it with them, the main answer I usually get is "women are bitches". Well, okay. When pushed to elaborate, I usually hear stories of how some girl they were friends with stole their boyfriend or wronged them in some way. What they usually fail to realize is that, in the case of boyfriend-stealing, a man was also involved, yet they haven't sworn off the entire male gender as a result of some isolated act.

    I think that at the core of the issue is insecurity. How many times have you heard women belittle some stranger for being attractive? Think about it. Some gorgeous woman walks by, and a lot of chicks will immediately find *something* about her to insult. "I'm glad *I* don't have to dress like a slut to get attention." "Nice roots, honey. You might want to make an appointment for another dye job." "Those CAN'T be real." And so on. Hell, I did this very thing not 15 minutes ago in the Big Brother forum. I'm not immune. The thing is that a lot of women view other women as competition. Even if they aren't doing it on a conscious level, it's often there. We're confronted day after day after day with these impossible standards of looks and wealth and personality (How much money do magazines like Cosmo and the like pull in a year?), and let's face it - not many of us can be those people we see on t.v. or in magazines. We're bombarded by imagery - both subtle and overt - and the whole time we're striving to be something we're not, it's chipping away at our self-esteem. I'm NEVER going to be a size 2 with a 6 figure income and a penchant for skydiving, but I keep being told that I ought to be. So we see other chicks who maybe look like they have it together more than we do, and there's jealousy involved. To get back to the original question, if a woman is in a position of power over someone for whom she has some envy, it might manifest itself in her being, well, not a great boss.

    All that being said, however, I've had female bosses who were wonderful. I've had female bosses that sucked. Same with males. I honestly don't believe that the situation that I laid out above is necessarily true of the majority of women, but I think it's a large enough minority that there's no denying the truth to at least part of it.

    Then again, I really hope I'm wrong.

  2. #62
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
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    AJ I think you've absolutely hit the nail on the head.

    I sincerely believe women are MUCH more competitive than men are.

  3. #63
    Why Not Us? greenie's Avatar
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    aj, I agree a lot with your post. Unfortunately women are conditioned to feel that we need to look our best at all times, and find faults in other women who are also trying to look their best. A big catch 22 really. We need to make head turns when we enter a room or walk down the street.

    As far as women bosses being nasty to women below them, I really believe it depends on the type of industry you're in. I'm in education and I've had very nurturing and caring women principals. But I did work with another woman music teacher, and she was very threatened by me because of my youth and energy. She had taught for 30 years and was seriously burnts out, and I came into the job and changed things around.

    I think women will be more catty to another woman if she is viewed as a threat to her own job.
    Who shot who in the what now?

  4. #64
    It was you. splatty's Avatar
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    I haven't had women bosses that are meaner to women than men . . just women bosses who were viewed as bitcas in general - but I think that is part of the double standard of how women and men are viewed.

    Men can be assertive and good leaders. Women with the same qualities are bitcas.

    I'm NEVER going to be a size 2 with a 6 figure income and a penchant for skydiving
    Hey ajg, stop talking about me.

  5. #65
    dvm
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    A lot of times, women use their breasts and not their brains to get what they want.

    I understand the whole if you've got it flaunt it logic and I have nothing against embracing your both your inner and outer beauty. But it is simply insulting to me to see flaky, moronic, conceited women achieving their goals by exploiting their sexuality.

  6. #66
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
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    Dvm... I also hate that.

    I worked with this woman once who was not especially pretty, but very skeevy and got tons of attention. She was a complete joke, but thought absolutely every other woman envied her. She would brag about going into computer stores and getting free accessories for flashing the sales staff her breasts. When I said something about it, she said, "Oh, I do that all the time. You wouldn't BELIEVE how much free stuff I get"

    What upsets me most about that is that it only takes one woman like that to ruin it for the rest of us. Especially in a workplace.

    I'm so glad I moved. I'd hate to think what she offered the bosses to get raises.

  7. #67
    On ice duckgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    Interestingly, women are more interested in seeing other attractive women in magazines than they are in seeing a naked man.
    Because naked men are ugly! Yuck. Hairy, lumpy, bumpy. Especially their prized posession.

    Anyway we've moved on but I just had to say that.

    And NO, it's not because I don't *like* it. It's just hideously ugly.

  8. #68
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    I don't disagree at all.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  9. #69
    On ice duckgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dvm
    A lot of times, women use their breasts and not their brains to get what they want.

    I understand the whole if you've got it flaunt it logic and I have nothing against embracing your both your inner and outer beauty. But it is simply insulting to me to see flaky, moronic, conceited women achieving their goals by exploiting their sexuality.
    Isn't it odd that the world is run by men, and yet you can change their mind with a little cleavage? And yet they claim to be great leaders.

  10. #70
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    Hey, now! Cleavage alone doesn't do it. Not always. Sometimes, you have to turn the dial even further.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

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