TV Top Ten Lists
These are David Letterman Top Ten Lists:
Top Ten Signs Your New Fall Television Series Won't Be a Hit
10. The writers accidentally named every character "Pedro"
9. Instead of a laugh track, there's an 80-year-old guy clearing his throat
8. On the night of your premiere, Dr. Kevorkian's business goes through the roof
7. It's a reality-based show in which cameras follow retired cops around a golf course
6. You lose in the ratings to a Ross Perot infomercial
5. After Siskel and Ebert watch it, they cut off their thumbs and retire
4. It was originally created to cash in on the Lambada craze
3. USA Today review says, "This show won't last as long as a Tyson heavyweight fight"
2. It's a gritty, realistic police drama in which absolutely no one shows their ass
1. Your network's new slogan: "Mustn't See TV"
Top Ten Signs You Won't Win "American Idol" presented by Carmen Rasmusen
10. You dedicate "I Will Always Love You" to Saddam Hussein
9. Backstage, people say, "Are you still here?"
8. North Korea says if you lose they'll stop producing enriched uranium
7. Your mother says, "You're okay, but I'm really a big fan of Ruben"
6. You were recently named the three of clubs on the "Most Wanted Iraqi" playing cards
5. You've already appeared on another reality show -- "Cops"
4. Vegas gives you the same odds of winning it all as the Mets
3. You cancel your performance to stay home and watch "Jag"
2. Simon beats you with the microphone stand
1. Your voice is muffled by the SARS mask
Does anyone have any more good top ten lists?
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