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Thread: My art

  1. #711
    ~*Perfect Princess*~ Blazingorchidlv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hazyshadeof
    "Where have all the days gone? Prelude"
    Wow.....

  2. #712
    ~*Perfect Princess*~ Blazingorchidlv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nausicaa
    Sorry for your loss, Blazingorchid. Your poem reminded me of Edna St. Millay's "Dirge Without Music" (a good thing.)
    Thank you I just wrote that a couple weeks ago...and edited it and finished it today. Sort of jumped in my mind one day.

  3. #713
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    I'd have to agree with Naus on Why do they say the good die young. I enjoyed it.
    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star in somebody else's eyes... but why... why... why can't it be me?

  4. #714
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    Quote Originally Posted by hazyshadeof
    I'd have to agree with Naus on Why do they say the good die young. I enjoyed it.
    hehe Thanks

  5. #715
    FORT Fogey nausicaa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hazyshadeof
    The dream is always the same.

    I stand naked in a dark cave...
    Okay, so I'm channeling Plato here.

    ...The monkeys are attacking me now. Tweeking my nipples like I'm some S & M freak. It's not very enjoyable. My dangling penis is too tempting a toy for the little urchins. They pull on it like a slingshot.
    *OY!!* Please, no! These virgin eyes don't want to read about hot monkey love!! *stabs eyes out* (Though, I must say, that last sentence is very effective.)

    Finally, I am free. Flowers all around. Daisies, tulips, roses. Pretty. The voice calls from behind me. I turn and look. Mom. Her open arms reaching. My hands extend out.

    The laugh. Dad.

    He pushes me back into the cave.
    Yup. *nods head* Hazy's lost it. The cave symbolism is pretty obvious, but where in hell's bells did ya get those monkeys??! (Some pervy remnants of the past, or...a bad trip to the zoo?)

  6. #716
    ~*Perfect Princess*~ Blazingorchidlv's Avatar
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    Are you here with me
    Is that your breath I feel on my neck
    I turn around and you are gone
    Why must you do this to me
    I miss you so much
    I need you so much more
    All I wanted was to be happy
    All I needed was for you to care
    I needed to hear I Love You
    And know it came from your heart
    The look on your face
    Such anguish such pain
    I didn't mean for things to go wrong
    I didn't want things to end
    I only wanted to be with you
    To have a life with you
    I don't understand these things
    What is betrayal what is heartbreak
    Are these the things I brought upon you
    Did I do these horrible sounding things to you
    If so I am sorry
    You will never understand what my mind is going through
    Wishing you understood my grief

  7. #717
    ~*Perfect Princess*~ Blazingorchidlv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nausicaa
    Yup. *nods head* Hazy's lost it. The cave symbolism is pretty obvious, but where in hell's bells did ya get those monkeys??! (Some pervy remnants of the past, or...a bad trip to the zoo?)
    LOL!! Monkeys rock...even if they are scary monkeys!! lol

  8. #718
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    Quote Originally Posted by nausicaa
    Okay, so I'm channeling Plato here.



    *OY!!* Please, no! These virgin eyes don't want to read about hot monkey love!! *stabs eyes out* (Though, I must say, that last sentence is very effective.)



    Yup. *nods head* Hazy's lost it. The cave symbolism is pretty obvious, but where in hell's bells did ya get those monkeys??! (Some pervy remnants of the past, or...a bad trip to the zoo?)
    Eh... if you must know, it's symbolic of the narrator's relationship with his father who sexually molested him - which the reader learns more about in chapter two. The monkeys are Dad. Invaders. Unwanted. Poking. Prodding. Violating.

    As it turns out, I scrapped that prelude completely, changed the male narrator to a female narrator. It just wasn't workin' for me, but I still laugh at the monkeys and how deluded that whole excerpt looks. When my prof read it, he looked at me and said and I quote here "Aaron, sometimes you worry me. Scary. But it works."

    Yea, I worry myself sometimes too.
    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star in somebody else's eyes... but why... why... why can't it be me?

  9. #719
    ~*Perfect Princess*~ Blazingorchidlv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hazyshadeof
    Eh... if you must know, it's symbolic of the narrator's relationship with his father who sexually molested him - which the reader learns more about in chapter two. The monkeys are Dad. Invaders. Unwanted. Poking. Prodding. Violating.

    As it turns out, I scrapped that prelude completely, changed the male narrator to a female narrator. It just wasn't workin' for me, but I still laugh at the monkeys and how deluded that whole excerpt looks. When my prof read it, he looked at me and said and I quote here "Aaron, sometimes you worry me. Scary. But it works."

    Yea, I worry myself sometimes too.
    When my teacher read some of my poems in HS...she asked me if I was getting therapy for my depression. I was like I am the happiest go lucky person ever! I just go into a deep dark place when I write! lol but she used to get freaked out.

  10. #720
    FORT Fogey nausicaa's Avatar
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    *sigh* If only I were a psychology major...we could have a field day with all those rotten Freudian and Jungian theories ...

    I like it (uneasily.) I'm kinda disappointed to hear you changed your narrator to a female, though. Would have been interesting to continue w/ a male narrator.

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