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Thread: My art

  1. #91
    Blue Mooooooooon Blue Meanie's Avatar
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    Hazy, I need to find a box of Kleenexes. You should seriously get these published.
    Paintin' the Town Blue!

  2. #92
    Why Not Us? greenie's Avatar
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    Hazy, that brought tears to my eyes. It was very moving and very heartfelt. Thanks for sharing it with us.
    Who shot who in the what now?

  3. #93
    Fade to black
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    I can't even read Hide and Seek. I cut and paste it and hide myself.
    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star in somebody else's eyes... but why... why... why can't it be me?

  4. #94
    FORT Fogey
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    yes, thats him.. he has a song and it reminds me of you !

    My Carphone's On The Pill
    written by Steve Poltz

    My carphone's on the pill, and my girlfriend's got call waiting
    Satan's in the bagels and my toaster's masturbating
    My computer has hard drive, and my disk is always floppy
    My Xerox has the runs and it won't stop shitting copies
    Help me

    My paper wants some coffee and my mother needs recycling
    My fax is getting acne and it needs some tetracyclene
    My dog is late for school and my son pissed on the floor
    The percolator's drooling and the baby's at the store
    Would you help me please?

    The TV's watching me and my control is in remote
    Grandpa's sucking carpet and the vacuum stole my coat
    And the birds are smoking cocaine and my son lives in a nest
    My daughter just got neutered, and my cat just got fake breasts
    Now help me please

    Yeah TV rules the house now, Mr. Cartwright is the boss
    Ginger's kissing MaryAnn and I'm in love with Hoss
    Thurston Howell III is lusting after Mary Tyler
    More is always less that Mr. Douglas is a styler
    Green Acres is the place to be, that Eb is such a dork
    He hit Arnold the pig and so tonight we're eating pork
    Help me

    My coffee lost its dentures and my father needs reheating
    My wife is always empty and the fridge is always eating
    The dust pan's playing marbles and the kids are in the sink
    And the heater won't quit farting and my mental health it stinks
    Now help me please

    My car went to the movies, and I'm locked in my garage
    My bathroom went to art school, now I piss in a collage
    And the blender stole my credit cards, and bought some fancy duds
    Everyone has patriots, but all I have are scuds
    Help me please

    My carphone's on the pill, and my girlfriend's got call waiting
    Satan's in the bagels and my toaster's masturbating
    Help me please.

  5. #95
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Gosh, Hazy...that was amazing. Made me want to cry...but it's fantastic. You're an absolutely great writer; thank you so much for that.

  6. #96
    Fade to black
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    That's great firegirl. I hate stuff that rhymes, but that was hilarious.
    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star in somebody else's eyes... but why... why... why can't it be me?

  7. #97
    I need to get out more bloonman's Avatar
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    Originally posted by AnnaRHR
    Your blow-up doll dumped you hazy? That's so sad...

    Good one, Anna!

    "I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

  8. #98
    FORT Fogey
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    Hazy your just like him,, one minute all crazy and sick, then the next so sweet and deep! Here is the other one I love from him.. just like you! Awwww
    And FYI, I am a single parent too!


    Everything About You
    written by Steve Poltz

    I love everything about you
    I love the way you comb your hair
    And I love the way you sachet in the room
    Your perfume lingers in the air

    I love everything about you
    Oh about you
    Mmmmmm

    I love the way you lick your lips, dear
    You got fireworks in your head
    And I love the way you bring me water
    When I'm thirsty in your bed

    I love everything about you
    Oh about you
    Mmmmmm

    You were surely kissed by angels
    Look at the freckles on your face
    You got the devil in your eyes
    You disappear without a trail

    I love sneaking up behind you
    When you're looking in the mirror
    The way your eyes lock into mine, dear
    Without guilt and without fear

    I love everything about you
    Oh about you
    Mmmmmm

  9. #99
    The Truth Is Out There ixcrisxi's Avatar
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    firegirl - Wow. How... colorful! [The second one was pretty, too! ]

    Hazy - Again... beautiful. Made me cry!
    MULDER: It's still there, Scully. 200,000 years down in the ice.

    SCULLY:
    Leave it there.

  10. #100
    FORT Fogey
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    Dang, hazy, why do you have to make it so hard to pick on you...?

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