Have you heard that Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell have recently been honored with wax statues at Madame Tissaud's? Well, if you were wondering why they didn't also make a wax Paula Abdul, its because ___________.
1. the real Paula is waxed every Tuesday.
2. the wax wouldn't set because of the alcohol content.
3. you have to sit STILL in a chair for them to make a wax mold.
4. the Rosie O'Donnell wax statue complained.
5. Paula missed her ride due to getting liquored up at a Bar.
6. they already had one, as part of an exhibit with wax statues of Kelly Preston, Denise Richards, and porn stars Ginger Lynn and Heather Hunter, called "women screwed over by the Estevez/Sheens".
7. She was kidnapped by the other Laker Girls.
8. She was delayed working with her writers on retorts for Simon's sarcasm ... because she thought it would be a talking likeness.
9. the Simon wax statue demanded an exclusive. The only reason the wax Seacrest statue was even there was because he's the wax Simon's "bitch".
10. She had no time... She ran off to marry Corey Clark.