Phone fun

[echo1960]

What are some funny things you have said to telemarketers or someone you don't want to talk to. I will start..
When they ask if this is mrX or mrs x I say :I'm sorry but they are deceased. When they say oh,I am so sorry,I say well please don't be,there really was not anything you could have done.

[veejer]

Just thinking about it makes me laugh, as I was not the person in our house for telemarketers to talk to. (My husband is a wimp and would listen to anything before saying no.) Before the wonderful inventions of the no-call-list and caller-id, I had several different tactics.

Our last name is very unusual and hard to pronounce without hearing it once, or at least studying it a bit. Most callers didn't see it until I answered and it popped up on their screen. So I'd hear, "May I please talk to Mr. or Mrs. uh........glub-glub-glub?" I'd simply say there is no one by that name here, goodbye." Click.

Most often I would play my own personal secretary and not admit that they were talking to the person they wanted.

Them: May I please talk to Mr. or Mrs. x?

Me: May I ask who's calling please?

Them: Sue

Me: Sue Who?

Them: Sue Smith

Me: Sue Smith of what company.

At this point some would explode and others would refuse to talk to anyone other than Mrs. x. I'd simply inform them that I wasn't authorized to put anyone through unless I knew specifically what the call was about. If they told me, I'd say, "I'm not interested, thank you very much, goodbye." Click.

[echo1960]

I also like to ask them if they can hang on for a second,then I lay down the phone till I hear the fast beep beep and I know they hung up.
I used to HATE getting these calls,but now I look foward to they so I can have some FUN.

[veejer]

One time when my sister was in high school, about 30-35 years ago, we were getting repeated prank calls from what sounded like junior highers. Finally, my sister answered with a nasal twang, "Smith's Mortuary, you stab em, we slab em. Please hold." Then put the phone on top of a radio set to a 24-hour easy listening station. They never called back.

[Texicana]

A good tactic is to ask them how much they are going to pay you. That usually throws them off kilter really fast. If they ask what you mean, you simply explain that they get paid to compile information from you, the home owner, and you'd like to get paid for providing it. Time is money, so they say

[VeeJay]

I always act like I can't hear them.

Phone: Hello, I'm calling on behalf of Somebigcompany.

Me: (loudly) Huh?

Phone: I'm calling on behalf of Somebigcompany. I would like to sell you a new invention.

Me: (interrupting loudly) What? Who is this?

Eventually they get very flustered and when I tire of the joke I just hang up. Oh and I just love my Caller ID. If I don't know the number, I usually just don't pick it up.

[Survivorfreak07]

I usually tell someone near me to make really loud obnowious noises.

If I am alone I usually roll the phone down the stairs and scream, my mom says that they might call the police thinking that I am hurt. They haven't yet though.

Another good one is when they say

Them:"Would you like to try our new invention, the super duper breaksreallyeasily?"

Me:"My ex boy/girlfriend would have loved that . . ." Then start crying uncontrolably.

[buglover]

As a general rule, if I have to say hello more than once, it's a telemarketer and I hang up. If they happen to actually speak before I hang up and ask for the lady of the house, I usually tell them "well, there's really not a lady in this house, would you like to speak to me, I'm a transexual!" They hang up on me!!

[J.D.]

If I decide to pick up the phone although I don't recognize the number, and the caller asks for me as my name is spelled (which is different from the way it is pronounced), sorry - you're not gettin' nuttin' from me.

But this does remind me of the sweetest story. Wayyy back in elementary school - when we first learned that prank calls existed...we looked up the principal of our school in the phone book and called them. I was a way bigger dork than I am now, as tho that were possible, but I would have a couple of questions with a promise of a prize at the end, yada yada. Good old Mrs. Esterholt. She always played along. And we called her at least once a week. She answered our questions and thanked us for calling. We all squealed about it, and I'm sure she and her husband got a chuckle out of it too. Very sweet of her.

[Clipse]

If I am alone I usually roll the phone down the stairs and scream, my mom says that they might call the police thinking that I am hurt. They haven't yet though.

If my stairs weren't hardwood I would so do that, thats a good one