Phone fun

[coolguy]

I would if I had stairs!

Ask them, "What if the company building blows up? Will I get my money back?". They would get a kick out of that!

[echo1960]

If they are trying to sell windows or siding,ask if you have to have to ask your landlord. They will hang right up.
I also like to tell them that I used to have their product and got rid of it cuz I hated it.

[Survivorfreak07]

Another good one is to make vomiting sounds.

[Muduh]

Having a loud whistle that you can blow in their ear is always a nice touch.

[AR Boy]

Thank God I live in HK... telemarketers and phone surveys are rare here.

I've only come across one every 3 weeks or even month(s)...
I got one yesterday... Without my British Ax I wouldn't of been able to do this:
Telemarketer: Hello! Would you like American Ginseng (In bad chinese)
Me: Speak in English please...
Telemarketer: Hello! Would you like American Ginseng... I imported this the other day I looked at it in my homeland (US) and *blah blah blah*- it comes with a free tin of green tea... Is this Simon Cox? (Bad question... the Telemarketer is American...
Me: Cox? You pathetic prank calling fool. The name's Cowell....
Telemarketer: AHHHHHHH *hangs up*
Thank god my first name is Simon...

The other time around I was at work 2 years ago and I was messing around with machine voice software... The cops came round but I got rid of the stuff on time to have the poor survey man got arrested.
Survey boy: Hello is this Simon Cox and you are 22 and this is your personal hotline at HK Golden Fortune Commercial vehicle rental Co, LTD....*more personal info*
Me:*Pushes machine voice stuff* Welcome to the secretive assasination hotline. To murder someone with a gun please press one... etc the surveyer called the police but I convinced him to arrest the surveyer lol

[lalol]

Other language works greatly
When they speak in Chinese I usually reply back to them in Japanese so they start talking in English and I just say I don't understand English

Well we still have to give props to these people who does these calls I means it's a pretty tough job

[coolguy]

My sister worked for a job like this, and she got paid every customer she gets. She finally got annoyed of it and quit. Luckily...

[Survivorfreak07]

:haha Yes, another language would probobly annoy them, so would having your chihuahua bark at the phone.

[marymanilow]

These posts are a hoot! I'm gonna try the "foreign language" approach...I can say about 5 offensive things in Polish.

Usually when they call and ask for a man or "the man of the house", I (being female) like to say "Yes, this is he." Or, when they say ... "[t]his is (name) from (company) calling. How are you today?" I'll say "I'm very well, thanks for asking. Bu-bye!"

[echo1960]

I also have done this in the past, When they ask "how are you today"? I go through things like this:Well I started out ok but then I got one hell of a headache,then my dog died and I had to bury him and to top it all off I started my period! I am so glad that you called because I have had nobody to talk to. That usually get's a response like.... Well, I seem to have called at a bad time,maybe I should call you later. They never do