Ten things not to do during an earthquake:
1. Run outside proclaiming "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!".
2. Start making fat jokes
3. Stand around. (Hide somewhere, please)
4. Try to get earthquake insurance at the last moment.
5. Scream "This is God's wrath for your sinful ways! Impeach Bush and make God happy!"
6. Say "Ooh! A plane is coming!" while pointing to the sky.
7. Yell, "Is this all you've got??" while shaking your fist at the sky.
8. Go to a lake and begin throwing rocks in it while completely ignoring the fact that the ground is shaking.