Ten things you shouldn't mention in a wedding toast:
1. "You're in for a heck of a night, bud! I oughta know!"
2. "I slept with her before you did sucker!"
3. "I hope you don't mind that she is having MY baby"
4. "And may your crabs clear up"
5. That you slept with the new bride's mother(or father).
6. Mention that the bride/groom got it on w/ the best man/maid of honor while you were out of town...
7. "I hope that pesky STD cleans up"