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Thread: The *new and Improved* FORT LCS

  1. #1031
    Don't Panic senrik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrpayroll
    These are why I am staying 'lonely and single'

    Chris
    Don't look at me. I always feel lucky I found a woman willing to marry me.
    "The purpose of the new capitalism is to shoot the wounded." ~ Andy Grove, Chairman, Intel Corporation

  2. #1032
    dvm
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    Quote Originally Posted by boredouttamind
    I'm starting to wonder where all these band names are coming from. I mean, I was listening to this radio station, and they played a song by a band called "A Bucket of Smoldering Dog Crap". Who will want to listen to a band that's named after a pile of dog poo? I can kind of understand though, because I was in a band, and it's hard to come up with names. My friend actually suggested we name it "Two Jewish people and a Black Guy" I asked him why we would want to name the bad that and offend alot of people and he said "Well, the band's made up of two Jewish people and a Black guy, and you could make a label and create bands like an Australian-Japanese person and 3 Chinese girls. You couldn't tour in Alabama, though, because they might shoot you..."


    This is what we get for not sending our children to sensitivity training and letting them watch South Park and the Man Show. My gosh.
    OMFG! I almost spit up my water!!

  3. #1033
    Don't Panic senrik's Avatar
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    I used to host a web site for my cat "gustibus" who did an advice column.
    Here's an example:

    Dear Gussie,
    Lately I've been thinking more seriously about having a baby, which has always been very important to me. I just turned 29 and am in a committed relationship, although we are not married yet.
    I'm worried that my time may be running short to become a mother. I don't want to be too old To keep up with my children. I know that you hear all the time about women that have children at all ages, but what do you think that age should be, regardless of what is medically possible.
    Signed Desparate Ovary Gain.

    Dear Dog.
    You are too neurotic to have children... Can I suggest that you indulge a cat?
    Love, Gussie.
    "The purpose of the new capitalism is to shoot the wounded." ~ Andy Grove, Chairman, Intel Corporation

  4. #1034
    Don't Panic senrik's Avatar
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    Here's another from the furry one's column:

    Dear Gussie,
    I still have some of my exes possessions. Our relationship ended badly and I'm not sure how to return these things. The guy is someone I should not have any close relationship (we WONT) be 'friends'), yet I'd like to change the anger we both felt at the end into acceptance and peace. I could mail his things to him, but that wouldn't help towards healing. If I delivered his stuff in person, it would perhaps look like a repetition of our pattern wheerein he could do almost any mean thing to me and eventually i would return to him. Should I try it again or let it go.
    Signed: Tired of the Other

    Dear TOTO.
    Don't be a dodo. Leave the dog. I might suggest a nice bonfire for his stuff.

    Love Gussie
    "The purpose of the new capitalism is to shoot the wounded." ~ Andy Grove, Chairman, Intel Corporation

  5. #1035
    dvm
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    No one should feel obligated to return gifts to an ex.

  6. #1036
    Don't Panic senrik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dvm
    No one should feel obligated to return gifts to an ex.


    My cat would agree.
    (seriously, I agree.... but the cat's style is witty and no bull)
    "The purpose of the new capitalism is to shoot the wounded." ~ Andy Grove, Chairman, Intel Corporation

  7. #1037
    Don't Panic senrik's Avatar
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    Dear Gussie,
    I am confused. I have been through four bad marriages and wound up in domestic abuse shelters because all my husbands verbally and physically attacked me.
    Six months ago, I met "Mike," and we moved in together. He is very kind, gentle and loving most of the time, but sometimes Mike gets into these moods and makes me feel awful. He'll compare me to his former girlfriends and say I can't do anything right. He also makes fun of the fact that I am seeing a psychiatrist, a therapist and taking medication. He says it proves that I am crazy!

    Mike won't get help for himself even though I know he needs it, so I have started sneaking antidepressants in with his daily vitamins. It has made some difference in his mood. I know I shouldn't do it, but I am desperate. Any advice? -- LOOKING FOR LOVE

    Dear LOL,
    Get rid of the jerk, stop feeding him drugs and get your life in order. Maybe you need a dog. Don't date anyone until you do all four.
    Love, Gussie
    "The purpose of the new capitalism is to shoot the wounded." ~ Andy Grove, Chairman, Intel Corporation

  8. #1038
    dvm
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    Quote Originally Posted by senrik
    Dear Gussie,
    I am confused. I have been through four bad marriages and wound up in domestic abuse shelters because all my husbands verbally and physically attacked me.
    Six months ago, I met "Mike," and we moved in together. He is very kind, gentle and loving most of the time, but sometimes Mike gets into these moods and makes me feel awful. He'll compare me to his former girlfriends and say I can't do anything right. He also makes fun of the fact that I am seeing a psychiatrist, a therapist and taking medication. He says it proves that I am crazy!

    Mike won't get help for himself even though I know he needs it, so I have started sneaking antidepressants in with his daily vitamins. It has made some difference in his mood. I know I shouldn't do it, but I am desperate. Any advice? -- LOOKING FOR LOVE

    Dear LOL,
    Get rid of the jerk, stop feeding him drugs and get your life in order. Maybe you need a dog. Don't date anyone until you do all four.
    Love, Gussie
    That's good advice

  9. #1039
    Don't Panic senrik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dvm
    That's good advice
    My cat gives GREAT advice.... my wife and I always go to him. (i'm sure someone thinks I'm kidding)
    "The purpose of the new capitalism is to shoot the wounded." ~ Andy Grove, Chairman, Intel Corporation

  10. #1040
    Nerds Just Wanna Have Fun Boredom's Avatar
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    Wow, a smart cat. Thank goodness you didn't say a smart dog, because that's usually an oxymoron.

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