Tonight’s lesson? Thou shall payeth it back. Mo’Nique has been very fortunate to be able to give back to the community, but our Charm Schoolers probably haven’t been so lucky. To remedy this situation, Mo’Nique tells them they will be giving the clothes off their backs to a thrift store. Presumably someplace frequented by trashy women who don’t mind showing butt cleavage. They’ll each pick a teammate, and then pool clothes, shoes and purses for donation. Each article will be given a monetary value, and the team that donates the largest amount of money wins the challenge, and immunity. Then, two ladies from the losing teams will be sent packing. Oooh! A twist!
Saaphyri is nervous because she doesn’t have a lot of stuff, and what she has is not worth much. Schatar spends most of her money on couture, and hopes the judges recognize her clothing for what it is, and Shay is not going to donate anything that set her back $125. Glad that’s all cleared up.
Thou shalt donate thy crap.
The teams are Brooke and Leilene, Shay and Larissa, Saaphyri and Becky and Schatar and Darra. Brooke chose Leilene because she came equipped with three suitcases… full of stripper-wear and scraps of fabric. Shay thinks she has a good eye for fashion, and knows she and Larissa have better stuff than everyone else, and Darra is scared that her mom is going to whup her ass if she gives away too much of her career-wear.
Dean Mikki Taylor checks in with the women and discovers that Leilene is searching for a ring that her dead mother gave her, so that she can donate it. Hmmm… my mother lives three miles from me, and I could never give away any of the rings she’s given me, but that’s just me, I guess. Becky and Saaphyri have filled two bags already, and when Dean Mikki gives them kudos, Saaphyri starts to cry about how she has nothing. Except her $800 weave.
Thou shalt not try to sell thy underpants to a thrift store.
The next day it’s time for the ladies to get their charity on, and they take a ride in the short bus to Out of the Closet, a local thrift store. They meet Dean Keith Lewis there, and I’d like to take this opportunity to say that I don’t care for him or his smarmy attitude.
Leilene and Brooke are up first, and as Leilene pulls out handfuls of panties and other assorted under things, Dean Keith comments that if the clothes say skank, they’re probably not the best thing to sell. He says it kind of snotty too, like he’s all above people who wear underclothes as regular clothes. The mean guys behind the counter won’t take any of Leilene’s bras or panties, and Brooke finally clarifies the sales policies by asking, “So, if the clothes have actually touched breasts or a vagina, you will not take them.” Um, that’s probably a good policy for any clothing store, I think. The guys also announce that they can’t take any stained or discolored clothes, which is also a good rule. After they’ve gotten a nay or yay on all the clothes, Leilene dramatically presents her mother’s rings. Brooke tells her not to sell, Dean Keith tells her not to sell, and the guys behind the counter tell her they’ll give her $90 for the rings. She takes the money, it’s all very dramatic, and now it’s time for the next team.
The next team is Shay and Larissa who are counting on their size 2 designer clothes to make them some big money, but they are soon disappointed that the duds are not fetching the prices they expected. Shay is particularly angry and tries to explain that True Religion is the most well known brand of jeans, and that’s what the people want. Then she tries to negotiate a good price for a pair of 7 Jeans, and I really think she’s about to break into a verse of “My Humps” with all the name brands she’s dropping.
It’s time for Darra and Schatar to do some sellin,’ and it’s soon very clear that Schatar’s definition of couture differs from the Project Runway definition. She tries to pawn off her crap, but the guys won’t take it, telling her that the clothes are stained, torn, and smell strange. Darra’s pissed that Schatar packed up a bunch of dirty clothes, and manages to sell some of hers, and even barters with the guys to get higher prices.
Thou shalt not spend thy rent money on trendy boots.
Becky and Saaphyri start off pretty well, and I think they might take this competition. They’ve each basically packed up everything they have, with the intentions of selling it all to the thrift store. Before long though, things start to go downhill, and shockingly, it’s because of Saaphyri.
Saaphyri tries to sell a pair of silver sandals she says cost $300, but the guys won’t take them. Then she presents a trendy pair of Ugg boots, (that look like they’re in really good shape), and the guy offers her $15 for them. She starts to whine and tells him that she spent all of her rent money on those boots, and she is not selling them for $15. Then she has a little meltdown, throws the boots into her bag, starts to cry (again), and rants about how the guy behind the counter is insulting her by telling her the things she owns are not worth very much money. Dean Keith tries to reason with her, and so does the clerk by telling her he’s just trying to do his job, but Saaphyri is beyond reasoning. She knocks stuff over, slams all of her clothes back into her bag, and stomps off, weeping loudly. Then, to finish off this little performance, she sits under a rack, and blows her nose on a skirt hanging there for sale. Well.
Becky tries to act like nothing happened, and her teammate did not completely just lose it, but Dean Keith keeps telling her that this is a team challenge, and what is she going to do about her partner? Becky tells him that she doesn’t think there’s anything she can do with Saaphyri at this point, and I think she should get points for teaming up with the crazy lady in the first place.
After she’s done blowing her nose on the merchandise, Saaphyri remembers that she’s part of a team, and her freak-out could cause Becky to be sent home too, and that’s just not fair. So, she swallows her pride and sells her stuff, including her boots,
Thou shalt not offer thy leftovers.
The ladies travel back to the house, and Darra tries to offer Saaphyri some of her leftover clothes, because Saaphyri sold everything, (apparently except for a rhinestone embellished tank top that she’s wearing). Darra tells her that some of the tops might fit. Kind of. Saaphyri, of course, takes Darra’s offer the wrong way, and a huge fight ensues. I think these ladies have to have huge blowouts over nothing at least twice a day.
Mo’Nique calls all the women to the foyer to find out how they did, and announces that Schatar and Darra made $641, Becky and Saaphyri made $868, Leilene and Brooke made $823 and Larissa and Shay made $871, making Larissa and Shay the winners… until they add in the $90 Leilene got for her mom’s rings, making it a total of $913.This means that Leilene and Brooke are the real winners, and not only are they safe from elimination, they also get a shopping spree at Forever 21, which I’m sure is exciting for them, especially since it’s been a while either of these women has seen 21.
Mo’Nique announces that they get to pick one other team to join them, and they pick Darra and Schatar which should be… interesting since Forever 21 and huge boobs don’t always mesh so well together.
Thou shalt come up with a completely cockamamie plan.
While half the ladies are out shopping, Larissa and Shay are at home plotting. Both of them want Schatar out, so they decide to hide Leilene’s pictures under Schatar’s mattress so that Leilene will think she stole them. I guess this could work, because Schatar’s stolen before, but the whole plan seems kind of stupid to me.
Meanwhile, Saaphyri meets with Mo’Nique so that she can tell her about the injustice of Darra’s offer to give her clothing, and Mo’Nique tells her that she can’t let anyone else have power over her. I wish that she’d also told her about indoor voices, but maybe that’s nest week’s lesson.
When the women return from Forever 21, Leilene immediately notices her pictures are missing. She starts searching madly, and asks all of the other women to keep their eyes out for the missing pictures. Larissa points her in Schatar’s direction, and then acts shocked when Leilene finds the photos under Schatar’s mattress. The women freak out, everyone believes that Schatar stole the pictures, and that she’s some sort of kleptomaniac.
The women gang up on Schatar, and she denies that she’s the culprit. She wisely asks Leilene if she thought to look under her mattress herself, or if someone pointed her in that direction. Leilene won’t name names, and apparently doesn’t think this whole thing is weird or fishy at all. I guess I was wrong- it wasn’t a stupid plan.
Leilene takes her story to Mo’Nique, and Schatar denies again that she stole the pictures.
Thou shat not engage in clownery.
It’s elimination time, and Mo’Nique starts by commending Leilene for going above and beyond in this challenge. She and Brooke are safe and can relax and enjoy the ceremony, but everyone else is at risk. Mo’Nique tells Saaphyri and Becky that they are safe, because they really embraced the idea of charity and gave everything they had. That means Larissa and Shay, and Darra and Schatar are called to the carpet.
Ultimately, Darra and Schatar are sent packing because of Schatar’s alleged sticky fingers. They’re bummed, Larissa is excited that she pulled a fast one and got Schatar eliminated, and Mo’Nique tells the rest of the women that if Schatar was not the one who stole the photos, karma is going to come back to bite someone really hard. That’s all well and good, but maybe she could have, oh, looked at the footage to see who really stole the pictures so that the real culprits were sent home. Call me crazy.
In a nice little moment at the end of the show, Mo’Nique presents Leilene with her mom’s rings, and vows to try her hardest to get Saaphyri’s boots back. Awwww.
Anyway, tune in next week to see more of the photo drama, trouble in paradise for Larissa and Shay, and a visit by Ms. New York, who would probably benefit from some of these lessons herself.