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Thread: Charm School 5/13 Recap: Out Goes One Neutral Bitch

  1. #1
    Being VIP Yardgnome's Avatar
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    Jul 2003
    Harnessing my evil for good.

    Charm School 5/13 Recap: Out Goes One Neutral Bitch

    Welcome back everyone. It’s Charm School time and if you are anything like me you know this show is not living up to the fun that Flavor of Love is. Sure, it’s full of skanky women, cat-fights, and more swearing than the seaside docks of an old-time marina. Actually, I’m probably not giving it all the credit it deserves. It’s a pretty fine show and the women are definitely living up to their end of the bargain. Last week we bid adieu to Cristal and most of us had to ask ourselves, “Who is she again?” This week the women are going to be selling perfume so we should be in for quite the treat. Throw on your waders and lets get ready to dig into this hot mess.

    Someone Has to be the Smelly Kid
    As the women are getting ready for the day some of them start talking about Brooke and her behavior from the bar the night before. They start calling her a whore and that seems about right to me. The reason she is getting this attack is she was making out with random men while out. Like any of those women have any room to be talking on this subject.

    The announcement comes over the speaker and the women are told that today they will be working on the commandment “Thou Shalt Mind Thy Money.” All the women have no idea what it means but seem overly excited because it has the words money in it. Simple pleasures I guess.

    Everyone boards the bus and they head off to a scent shop. Here they find out they are going to learn how to make their own money. They will be making, marketing, and selling their own custom fragrance. Before they can get to that, they first need to learn the finer points of marketing and cost and profit. You can see the women’s eyes glaze over and peaceful sound of wind whistling through their ears.

    After their lessons are over they are told they will be getting in teams for this challenge so we will be guaranteed some extra drama. Shay, Brooke, and LaRissa are chosen as the team CEO’s and they will be interviewing all the women to see who they want on their team. After all the women have interviewed, their pictures are laid out and each CEO gets to choose two. This happens in a very civil way. LaRissa and Shay grab their pictures quickly leaving Brooke with the leftovers.

    The teams are: Shay, Schatar, and Becky, then Brooke, Dara, and Leilene, and finally LaRissa, Courtney, and Saaphyri. Each team heads off to make their fragrances and make up a marketing scheme for their scents.

    Sex and Spitting on Others Sells
    After the fragrances have been made, the women need to make marketing displays in the form of a large poster. This poster project is similar to a 5th grade science fair project…but probably not as good as 5th graders. Brooke’s team goes with the old adage of Sex Sells. They all decide to pose with their clothes off for their poster while their hands cover their chests. As the photo shoots ends we are treated to lots of blurred out shots of them and I just want to poke my own eyes out.

    As everyone is getting ready for the challenge at the mansion the CEO’s find out that if they are on the losing teams they will automatically be in the bottom 3. The next morning as they are getting ready to head out for the sales event the doorbell rings and their new scents have arrived. They have to bottle it and be ready to sell it.

    The women take off to the tourist are of LA to do their business. Most of these ladies I am sure have done their business here before but this is probably the first time it’s legal and not at night. Shay’s team gets to work and starts selling Buckwild memorabilia. LaRissa’s team is MIA for a good half hour before they start selling.

    Brooke’s team really takes the sex sells theme far. They all come wearing their slutty outfits, or everyday wear to them. Leilene goes back to her old stripper days and starts to take off layers of her clothes to entice the people on the street. As Brooke is standing around peddling her wares, a man approaches her and remembers her from Flavor of Love. He wants her to spit on him. He tells her he will buy some of her perfume if she does. She does it and makes a sale. I officially know now, THIS SHOW HAS NO CLASS!

    The challenge finally ends and the cash boxes are taken away and the money is tallied. The winners will be announced later and we all sit in anticipation and wait or some of us wait because there is nothing better on TV right now.

    Oh, No You Didn’t
    After the challenge they all return back to the mansion. LaRissa starts picking on Leilene for being a stripper when she was younger. Leilene tells us everything she knows she learned from strippers and this is probably the least shocking information I have ever heard. The groups are called down so the winner can be announced. Larissa’s team brought in $165 for their LaSaCour scent. Shay’s team scent Icon, brought in $318.25. Brooke’s team was able to make $463 for their scent Flavor of Love. They are announced the winners of the challenge and the other teams stomp off angry.

    In an effort to call down a bit, LaRissa makes a call to her man at home and as she is on the phone with him she gets disconnected. As this is happening Brooke is walking down the stairs and Larissa blames her for what happened. She calls her out and then a huge angry fight breaks out. LaRissa is a little out of control and Brooke is a bit smug and just egging her on. Finally, LaRissa storms off and wants to talk with Mo’Nique.

    LaRissa asks Mo if she is going home later because if she is, she is going to mess up Brooke later. Mo tells her she does not know who is going home and they decide to call Brooke in to go over what had just happened. Brooke tells her side of the story and brings up that LaRissa called her a “white bitch.” The word bitch is then used more times in five minutes then I have ever heard it used. Bitch. Bitch. LaRissa is told she needs to apologize and she begrudgingly does. Bitch.

    Someone Might Literally Get Cut
    The show is finally wrapping up and it’s time to find out who is going home this week. Shay and LaRissa are called down and then LaRissa is told since her team did so bad she needs to call one of her teammates down, she selects Courtney. The panel is upset that Courtney is always so middle of the road and neutral and not really growing. That’s probably because she is the only one on this show with some class and smarts. She is sent packing and I just want to cry. She made this show, she was so funny. Mo does give her a parting bonus, she tells her that she is going to join her on tour so she can do her comedy and get out there. Yay, for her. Bitch.

    Next Week
    Make sure to tune in next week and watch the women donate their clothes to a celebrity thrift store. The usual of course will follow, fights, swearing, and another girl sent packing. Bitch.

    If you think I used the word Bitch too much in this recap, please send me a PM.
    Last edited by Yardgnome; 05-16-2007 at 07:58 PM.

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
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    Apr 2003

    Re: Charm School 5/13 Recap: Out Goes One Neutral Bitch

    I loved how Mo'Nique told Courtney that she [Courtney] didn't belong on the short bus. It's true -- Courtney is the only one of the bunch with any amount of intelligence, class, or likeability. Which is probably why they kicked her out. She didn't fill her quota of saying "bitch." Lord, but this show is craptastic!
    "There's no crying in baseball!"
    -- Tom Hanks, A League of Their Own

  3. #3

    Re: Charm School 5/13 Recap: Out Goes One Neutral Bitch

    Quote Originally Posted by Ellen;2396034;
    I loved how Mo'Nique told Courtney that she [Courtney] didn't belong on the short bus. It's true -- Courtney is the only one of the bunch with any amount of intelligence, class, or likeability. Which is probably why they kicked her out. She didn't fill her quota of saying "bitch." Lord, but this show is craptastic!
    Isn't it, though? That's the perfect word for it!

    Did she actually say, "short bus"? I thought she said, "school bus" but it's funnier this way.

    Thanks for the Great recap, Yardgnome! Made me laugh all over again.

  4. #4
    FORT Fan lilymax1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005

    Re: Charm School 5/13 Recap: Out Goes One Neutral Bitch

    I like Courtney and would have liked to see her stay, but I guess the reasoning makes sense. She really doesn't belong in charm school with the rest of these hussies...she already has plenty of charm!

    Funny recap!


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