Charm School 5/6 Recap: Nipples, Spit and Nonsense Equals One Great Debate
Welcome back to another insightful episode of Charm School and, wait… there’s a $50,000 prize for the winner of this show? How hard can it seriously be to beat out a bunch of skanks in etiquette challenges? Anyway, tonight we start out by seeing why Jennifer was sent home, and that Becky and Cristal are on the outs. As are Hottie and all of the other women. And Larissa and most of the other women.
The skanks on the bus go round and round.
For today’s activity, the lucky ladies are going on a field trip in the short, yellow Charm School bus. They arrive at a college campus, where Mo’Nique announces that their next commandment is “Thou Shalt Spit Mad Game with Style.” These commandments sure are a lot different than the ones I learned about in Parochial school, that’s for sure!
Today, the ladies are going to learn the art of debate, taught by the Cal State Fullerton Debate Team. Darra is happy with the news, because she’s mad sick of all the constant talk about manners and makeup, but the other women don’t look thrilled.
The ladies walk into a debate class that is already in session, complete with spirited arguing about Guantamano Bay. I can’t wait to see what these women have to add! The class is led by Dr John Bruschke, and he explains the basic idea behind debate- if you can prove your point, you win. Simple, eh? Saaphyri doesn’t think too highly of Dr. John, and comments that he “thought he was a master-bater… a master-debater.” Okay, that was funny, but I don’t know if she was making a joke, or if she’s just that stupid. I’m leaning toward just that stupid.
The ladies learn some rules of debate- no swearing, no screaming, no talking during someone else’s speech, stay on time and never give up, and I can’t wait to see how they all handle trying to get their points across like adults, rather than screeching and pulling hair.
I want to hire the A Team.
Dr. John breaks the Charm Schoolers into teams. Team A is Schatar, Brooke, Courtney, Larissa and Leilene, while Becky, Darra, Saaphyri, Shay and Cristal make up Team B. Each team works with a member of the debate team, and it soon becomes obvious that Leilene is waaaaay out of her league, and starts to drive her team crazy with her constant questions and cluelessness.
Over on Team B, they start out by debating whether or not Larissa has an anger management problem. Cristal is pro, Shay is con, and I am also pro. Next topic- Leilene is a cry baby, and I don’t know how anyone is going to argue against that one!
Dean Keith announces that the teams will be judged on a debate that will take place in front of an audience later that day. The topic is “all the people on Courtney’s team should be expelled from Charm School.” For some reason, Courtney does not like this topic. I just can’t understand why. Team A has the negative and Team B has the positive. Since each team has 5 women, and debate teams traditionally have 4 people, one woman on each team will be benched, and will not be safe from elimination.
Team A wisely decides to bench Leilene, and Team B picks Cristal.
Nipples, nipples and more nipples.
It’s debate time, and the ladies arrive to find a packed hall. Mo’Nique is not surprised to see Leilene and Cristal on the bench, and remarks that the other women see Leilene as the weakest link.
Up first: Becky vs. Brooke. Darra is really hoping that Becky will bury Buckwild for this debate, and she does not disappoint. Brooke tries to prove her point by stressing how much her team needs Charm School, and how much they have already benefited. Even Brooke now knows that spitting on New York was maybe not the best thing she’s ever done. I would have guessed the severe ass kicking New York gave her that would have proved that point better than some etiquette classes, but whatever.
Shay and Larissa are up to cross examine, and I wonder how these two will be, since they’re friends and all. Oh, they’re going to be ruthless bitches. Shay flusters Larissa with some nasty (but true) comments, and Larissa gets so tongue tied, she does not make any sense at all. Point to Shay.
Saaphyri and Schatar are next, and this is another mismatched pair. Speaking of mismatched pairs, Saaphyri aims her question at Brooke, and asks if it was appropriate for Brooke to shake her breasts in front of Schatar. Schatar points out that the instruction was to aim the question at her and starts to answer, but is interrupted by Saaphyri who obviously was not listening to Dr. John when he explained the rules. Her reason for interrupting? So she could ask Schatar if she remembers how Brooke took her bra off and shook her breasts in Schatar’s face, with her nipples by Schatar’s lips. Yes, she really said that. People in the audience look horrified, Mo’Nique looks horrified, and I feel kind of icky for writing that.
It’s closing time, and Courtney and Darra are each representing their teams. At least this is a somewhat even match-up. Hearing these women speak makes me really wonder what they’re doing in Charm School. Don’t get me wrong- I like the fact that there are some semi-normal women on the show, but Darra and Courtney… you’re just too good for this stuff!
The winning team is chosen by Dr. John, and he names Team A the winners. They get a fancy trophy, and more important- immunity.
You know what pisses me off? This segment!
Mo’Nique doesn’t understand why Dr. John picked Team A because they didn’t bring anything to the table. Even after John breaks down the arguments piece by piece, she still doesn’t agree. She tells Team A that they’re celebrating a false victory, and Larissa is not about to take that kind of slander sitting down. She tells Mo’Nique that it’s interesting how even when she doesn’t have an attitude, or swear or act violent, it’s still not good enough for Mo’Nique and that pisses her off! Mo’Nique replies that it should piss her off, and then tries to yell some sense into her. Larissa’s actually crying as she shouts that she thinks Mo’Nique just doesn’t like her. Mo’Nique tells her that she’s not even special enough to be disliked.
How does stripper= great mother?
After the debate, the ladies head out to a pub to get their drink on and possibly catch some VD from drunk 21 year olds. Leilene pulls Larissa aside to chastise her for how she talked back to Mo’Nique, and the conversation quickly escalates into a full out screaming match, and the two women have to be restrained so they don’t hurt each other. Leilene tries to make the point that she is a mother, and she would not want her child to see her behaving like Larissa on TV. Then Leilene books it out the door before she gets sucker punched, and cries to Saaphyri that she is a good mother, and she doesn’t care if she has to dance (strip?) to put food on the table- at least there’s food on the table.
It’s crystal clear to everyone who is going home.
Back at the mansion, Mo’Nique announces it’s time for some expellin’ and the women have one hour to get ready. Unfortunately for Mo’Nique, Larissa’s team has immunity, and none of them, (except possibly Leilene) will be going home. Mo’Nique singles out Larissa, stating that she’s seeing nothing but poor behavior from her. She wants Larissa to grow up already, and then makes an analogy about how growing up is like life bending you over… very painful. Ew.
Mo’Nique calls Saaphyri, Cristal and Leilene down to the carpet. Saaphyri doesn’t think she belongs on the carpet, although I’m sure she will when she watches the playback of the debate. Cristal knows she’s out if she can’t make a good case for herself, and Leilene is just kind of crazy.
Mo’Nique tells Leilene it’s easy to step back, she can’t let people step on her. She sends Leilene back to the steps, and judging by the look on Larissa’s face, I think she needs to sleep with one eye open from now on. Now it’s down to Saaphyri and Cristal, and I for one am hoping for a two-fer tonight. But, Mo’Nique only expels Cristal, and so I am disappointed.
Tune in next week when the women… sell their bodies? I’m not sure what’s going to happen next week, but shoot me a PM if you’ve got a good guess.
Re: Charm School 5/6 Recap: Nipples, Spit and Nonsense Equals One Great Debate
Awesome read, SEM! I always catch the last few minutes of this show, but with your recaps, there's no reason to go back to watch the rest.
Re: Charm School 5/6 Recap: Nipples, Spit and Nonsense Equals One Great Debate