Welcome back everyone. I am so glad you are all willing to come back each week to watch this train wreck. I really don’t know if you could pay me enough to stop watching because it gets more outrageous week after week. Actually to be honest, I would take $100 and be done with this whole series of shows…forever. But let’s not talk about that and get on with the task at hand, figuring out what
skankleft last week and what is going to happen this week.
Last week the women all the opportunity to dine with Andrew Firestone of Bachelor fame and they tried to impress him. I was personally surprised to see him on this show because does he really need this publicity. I guess he is going with the theory that no publicity is bad publicity. Alas, Heather was the lady unable to impress Andrew and was sent packing. We all laughed as she exited and scratched our heads to find out that she had the name, Neveah (heaven backwards), written on the back of her school pin. She is gone and does anyone really care? So let’s put on our finest homemade outfits because tonight, we are designing clothes.
Dressing to Impress Does Not Mean Fredrick’s of Hollywood’s Finest.
The women are told to dress to impress for their lesson today. They scurry around trying to figure out what that means. Saaphyri puts on a shirt that has to keep getting blurred in the chest area. That to mean would mean no one is going to be impressed unless you are a lonly trucker visiting a Health Spa. Eventually everyone is dressed and arrives at class to learn they will be working on Commandment 4: Thou Shalt Work What Thou Art Working With. All I can do is scratch my head and try and figure out what the heck that means.
Today the teachers are Timothy and Mickey. That is all I am going to tell you about them because let’s be honest, does anyone care? They call Becky forward and tell her she has kept true to her style and is doing a good job. Schatar is called forward next and she is also commended for her style even though her chest is very lopsided in her dress. Saaphyri is called forward next and told she needs to work on her style. I am really concerned that any minute one of her girls is going to come out and we are going to all need to wash our eyes with bleach. They are then taught a little about couture fashion, and we can all agree none of them will ever being wearing that.
Their test for the week is to get in groups, design and make a couture dress that one of them will model. One person will be made the judge and automatically receive immunity for the week. Drama follows over this but after much yelling and arguing, Courtney is going to be made the judge. I absolutely love her so I am happy to see she will be around another week.
Designing for the Masses…Or Not
The women eventually figure it out and divide into two teams. Team 1 is, Brooke, Dara, Becky, Cristal, and Jennifer. Team 2 is, Saaphyri, Schatar, Leilene, Shay, and Larissa. The teams get to designing and Leilene tells her team she does not want to look like a stripper even though she is/was one. Dara’s team pulls the curtains off the wall to make her dress and Jennifer does not help. I guess she has more important things to do.
Courtney starts to make the rounds and check in what the teams are up to. Brooke thinks that Courtney is sending her clues without doing anything. They are that close that she does not have to do anything to do something. Anyone else a little confused? Schatar decides to spy on the other team and basically to laugh at them. She can’t believe they have chosen Dara to be their model. Saaphyri and Larissa follow her lead and also laugh to learn that Dara is the model.
The next morning the ladies get up early to get their “models” ready for the big day. Jennifer decides to sleep in because she obviously has something better to do. One of the other judges starts to make the rounds to see how the dresses are coming. Leilene’s team is following a theme of a Japanese garden. The judge tells them it looks more African than Japanese but they don’t see to care. They probably think it’s all on the same continent anyways. He goes to Dara’s team and wants to know if everyone is contributing. Everyone answers but Jennifer because she is off doing other things.
Duct Tape Has So Many Uses
It’s time for the ladies to get dressed for the big event. The way Dara’s dress is cut she can’t wear her girdle underneath it. Cristal decides to improvise and gets some tape and starts to tape her all up so she can fit into the dress. Dara comes out wearing the tape and I slowly pour out a cup of bleach for my eye cleansing.
Leilene’s team is up first for the presentation. Leilene comes out in a dress that is barely covering anything. She prances all over the stage and I am afraid I might need to pour another cup of bleach. The judges seem to enjoy it basically putting their credibility on the line.
Dara’s team is next and she comes out in a much more sensible curtain dress. She really could have scored extra points if she had sang some songs from The Sound of Music in her curtain dress. She looks all right except for the feathers that are fashioned on her eyebrows. The judges looked shocked and scared at what they are seeing. This can’t be good for the team.
The teams are called to the runway for questioning. Leilene’s team is questioned first followed by Dara’s. Jennifer is asked the first question but does not answer. Their team is slammed for the abomination of a dress they made. The judges also tell the team they tried to manipulate Mo’Nique by using Dara as their model, since they are both larger women. Dara is bawling and personally I don’t blame her. They are being really mean, even for this show.
After all the questioning and humiliating is done, Courtney is told she gets to pick the winner. She decides that Leilene’s team is the winner and they are safe from elimination. I would like to see that dress appear on the catwalks this fall. I also thought it was an abomination but I guess when you ask women of questionable morals to make clothes you have to be ready for what you are going to get.
Someone is Getting Cut!
After the challenge is done, Cristal is worried that she is going to be eliminated so she heads off to talk with Mo. Mo asks her what happened and she blames everything on Becky and Jennifer. Mo listens and then sends her on her way. We then get a clip of Mo just ripping Cristal a new one. This is what I love about having Mo’Nique as the host. As Cristal leaves she runs to Brooke to tell her what happened. Brook tells Jennifer and then Jennifer tells Cristal. Nothing like keeping secrets with these ladies. Jennifer confronts Cristal and of course nothing comes of it except we get to hear Jennifer say more than one word.
The Elimination Ceremony is beginning and all the women are lined up in their prep school uniforms. They look like a group of extras in some porn flick lined up waiting for their “turn.” Becky, Jennifer, and Cristal are called to the floor as the bottom 3. They are reminded how horrible their design was and Becky is told she can join the others because she is not being eliminated. Eventually, Jennifer is sent packing and she has little to say about it, as do I.
Next week tune in to see the women learn the art of effective communication. Or basically watch them get into fights and arguments. This show keeps bringing it every week. I wonder if Flav will make an appearance at some point?
If you think Schatar has what it takes to make it on Project Runway, PM me. Tim Gunn would just die when he saw her roll up into the design studio.