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Thread: Fear Factor "Championship Round 2" recap

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    JR.
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    Fear Factor "Championship Round 2" recap

    Fear Factor 05-05-03

    Welcome to part 2 of the semi finals. We’re on our way to crowning a grand champion for this season’s Fear Factor. Bringing back winners for more torture is always fun!

    This is the second half of this season’s 24 of this season’s winners. Same deal as last week: These 12 will also compete for 2 spots, and both winners will receive a brand new 2004 Mazda RX-8 and a shot at $100,000 in the finals.

    I am still too lazy to re-introduce the 12 contestants, so once again I’ll point you in the direction of the previous recaps for more information. Here we go…

    The contestants make their way to the edge of a lake as host Joe Rogan again pulls up in a shiny red RX-8. He goes over the rules and lets them know that 2 of them will win cars at the end of tonight’s show. He then shows them their first stunt:

    B is for Buoy
    15 buoys are spread out on the lake, and only 2 have flags attached to them underwater. Contestants will hang from the bottom of a helicopter that will take them out to the buoys. They are to drop into the water, find a flag, and swim to a platform and clip the flag to a pole. You lose, you go home. The pairings are determined by closest weight.

    Denise Sanches vs. Olivia Jones – Denise left her husband home (or he kindly let her go, depending on who you ask) because there could only be 1 member from the couples show, for whatever reason. The ladies get into position, and there’s some pretty lame trash talk taking place back on the beach. But the good thing is…bikinis! Olivia is wearing a very nice zebra print, while Denise is sporting a lovely light blue flower print. The girls hit the water and frantically start checking buoys. Denise is the first to find a flag and she heads towards the platform. It’s not even close as Denise reaches the platform before Olivia even finds a flag.

    Thai Vanngo vs. “Scary” Erin Matteson – Thai admits that he’s not a very good swimmer…well, we know how this is going to end. Erin, who has a great body by the way, is wearing an electric blue 2 piece. They splash around for a bit, and Erin comes up with a flag first. She heads for the platform as Thai struggles to unhook his flag. He ends up dropping the flag allowing Erin to beat him easily.

    Waco Hoover (ha) vs. “Cowboy” Randy Huston – Neither one has much to say, and they get right to it. After a few minutes, Waco finds a flag and takes off. Randy finds his and follows close behind. Waco pulls away as they race to the platform, clips his flag, and sends randy home.

    Chad Morris vs. Joseph Hall – The model vs. the fireman. They hit the water, and a few seconds later Chad finds a flag. Joe gives up when he notices Chad’s big lead. Buh bye Joe. Hey, think of that walk of shame like a runway. Strike a pose.

    Cherie Polvado vs. Nicole Sintihakis – Cherie is wearing a red flowered 2 piece, and Nicole counters with a brown number with white trim. They hit the water and go through 3 or 4 buoys before Cherie finds a flag. She takes off, and clips her flag before Nicole even finds hers. So sorry Nicole, how about a hug?

    Derrick “Butt Implants” Flowers vs. Todd Staples – Before they start, Joe is kind enough to give Derrick a fake rubber butt. How thoughtful. They get to work, and Todd finds his right away. Another one that’s not even close as Todd clips the flag while Derrick is still busy splashing.

    For no apparent reason, the remaining folks are now split up by gender. The men walk through a warehouse and meet Joe who is standing in front of a long dinner table with 13 holes cut down the middle. He lets them in on their next stunt:

    Fear Factor Buffet
    Each contestant will have 4 turns to stick their hand down in a hole and try to guess what the stuff is. If they guess right, they won’t have to eat it, but if they’re wrong they’ll have to chow down. Each substance can only be used once, regardless of the guess. All of the yummy snacks have been previously used during the season. When all 3 contestants are done guessing, there will be a race. The 2 that clean their plates the fastest will move on.

    Up first is Chad and he amazingly guesses right on his first 2, which were balut eggs and raw ostrich egg. He’s wrong on the next 2, which were cow snout and maggot cheese.

    Todd is next and guesses right on his first 2 as well, they were 100 year old egg nog and liquefied pig liver. He also misses the next 2 and has to eat bull penis and fish eyes.

    Waco guesses correctly on the cow eyeball, but misses the next 3 which were blended worms & roaches, cod sperm, and coagulated blood.

    The one that nobody chose was cow spine.

    They get the countdown and begin eating. All 3 are having trouble, and much gagging and choking ensues. Todd manages to clean his plate first, and it’s between Waco and Chad. Waco has trouble with the blood and blows chunks on his plate, and is eliminated. All Chad has to do is finish and he’s in, which he does a short time later.

    The ladies make their way through the warehouse, and I’m disappointed to find out they won’t be having any tasty treats. Instead, they end up in front of a water tank.

    Bobbing for…Mice
    Contestants will be placed in a water tank that’s filled with cold water. Thousands of “feeder” mice will be dumped in with them. The 2 contestants that transfer the most black mice to a separate tank in 3 minutes will move on. And, they can only use their mouths. Woohoo, more bikinis!

    Cherie is up first (wearing the same bikini) and shrieks when the mice are dumped in. She digs right in, but grabs a few white ones by mistake. She ends up with 10 black mice.

    Erin is next, and is wearing her flame print 2 piece. Like a professional she motors through this stunt and finishes with a total of 19 black mice. She’s really starting to scare me now.

    Denise is next (also in the same suit), and Joe comments that she’s used to having disgusting things in her mouth. Uh Joe, do you know something we don’t know? A little more info please. She gets right to work and fights through to the next stunt with a total of 12 black mice.

    The 4 remaining contestants make their way to an empty lot and find Joe waiting by their next stunt:

    They’re All Wet
    A rectangular platform is suspended above the ground. It’s set up like a checkerboard, but instead of black spaces, there are holes. There are 16 flags attached to the edges, and contestants must grab them 1 at a time and bring them to the center. They will have 2 minutes to grab as many as they can without falling off. The platform will be rocking and swaying, and the contestants will be sprinkled with water. The 2 people with the most flags go to the finals. In the event of a tie, the fastest time will prevail.

    Chad is first once again, and is not happy about going first. He gets into position, the water starts up, and he’s off. He starts in a crouch, but turns to sliding around on his belly. He moves at a nice, steady pace and finishes with 9 flags.

    Todd is next, and needs a new car because his was recently stolen. He starts off by crawling on his knees, but is sliding around an awful lot. He comes close to falling through one of the holes but manages to catch himself and keep going. He finishes with 9 also, but did it 11 seconds sooner so he’s in the lead.

    Denise is up next and starts off a bit too cautiously. She’s moving way too slow, and at 1 minute has only 4 flags. As her time runs out, she has only 7 flags. That means Todd gets his new car.

    Erin closes out the show, and she struggles right from the beginning. She gets her safety line tangled and comes close to falling a few times. When her time is up, she only has 4 flags. Chad gets himself a car.

    The 2 guys find themselves in the final 4 with a shot a $100,000.

    Next week: Championship round featuring the “terror tank” and “rat relay”.


    To contact the author, send mail to jr@fansofrealitytv.com

  2. #2
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Great job, JR! I love how you describe all of the ladies' bikinis.

  3. #3
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    JR's descriptions are unparalleled!

    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

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    JR.
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    Thanks, I do it as a service for my pals here. That's important stuff you know.

  5. #5
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    ummm. OK

    Great recap JR. !!
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

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