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Thread: Fear Factor "Championship Round 1' recap

  1. #1
    JR.
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    Fear Factor "Championship Round 1' recap

    Fear Factor 04-28-03

    Hold on to your lunches boys and girls, we’re about to kick off the Fear Factor Championship tournament. Things will be a little bit different for the next couple of weeks, so here’s the rundown:

    24 of this season’s winners have been called back and split into 2 groups of 12. In part 1, the first 12 will compete for 2 spots. Both of tonight’s winners will receive a brand new 2004 Mazda RX-8 and a shot at $100,000 in the finals.

    Since I am far too lazy to re-introduce all 12 contestants, I suggest checking out the previous recaps for more information. Ok, let’s get to work.

    The contestants make their way to the first stunt as host Joe Rogan pulls up in a shiny red RX-8. He goes over the rules and lets them know that 2 of them will win cars at the end of tonight’s show. He then shows them their first stunt:

    Nice Box
    Contestants will face off 1 on 1 in a clear box suspended above a lake. The box is split into 2 sections, and they must each find the 1 key out of 20 that will open the lock and drop the floor out on their opponent’s side. The 6 that fall will be sent home.

    Gerry picks up right where he left off and is talking sh*t already, tempting fate once again. Do you feel lucky…punk?

    Anyway, up first we have Summer Papania and Alexis Merrill. The women get hooked up and get into position. They both go through about 5 keys when Summer opens the lock, pulls the lever, and sends Alexis plummeting towards the water. That’s it Summer, jump for joy!

    Next up is Jill Teixeira with her dorky “I am Jill, hear me roar” vs. Tamie Sheffield. Both ladies comment on how much they love the car, while Gerry talks more trash. The women are in position and get the countdown. Tamie lucks out and opens the lock with the first key she grabs, which sends roaring Jill on her way home.

    Up next is Myles O’Connell vs. South African import Mark Hewlett. The guys get ready, and Holli predicts that Mark will win because “every South African man I’ve ever met is the best at everything”. Umm…ok? They get the countdown and start frantically working the keys. After about 5 keys Mark opens the lock and sends Myles on his merry way.

    It’s put up or shut up time for Gerald Wilson, as he and his mouth take on Hyden Yoo. Ah yes, the mighty Fear Factor Gods are watching today as Hyden opens the lock with the first key he picked. Gerry is quite pissed, but everyone else is quite happy. Buh-bye Gerry.

    Now it’s Greg Peters vs. Michael Levofsky. They start, and for some reason Greg decides to take his sweet ol’ time with the keys. He’s ridiculously slow, so slow that I want to reach through the TV and slap him to see if he’s awake. One of the women comments that he “can’t even get it in”, I guess that means no dates for him. Mike is now about 3 keys ahead of him and eventually opens the lock. Greg’s pissed and says that there’s no one on the show that can beat him. Uh…Earth to Greg…you just lost, you might want to rethink that.

    It comes down to Holli (horse rectum) Lamb vs. Aaron Mullen. They both get to the third key when Aaron opens the lock sending Holli home. I am reminded to take that trip to Plymouth to console her.

    It’s back to the farm for stunt #2, and Joe is bottle feeding a baby goat. Aww, isn’t that cute? He lets them in on their next stunt:

    Go(a)t Milk?
    Contestants will compete 1 on 1 milking the goats and filling a 6 ounce glass. Once the glass is full they must drink it all, and the 3 winners will move on to the finals. One more thing: they can’t use their hands, only their mouths.

    Summer vs. Michael – they both start off fairly even, but Mike starts to slowly pull out in front. It seems as if the producers have developed some sort of morals as they show the “action” in wide shots and from behind the contestants. WTF? When did this happen? Anyhoo, Mike fills his glass and Summer is only half-way. He downs his milk, and she takes the walk of shame.

    Hyden vs. Aaron – Aaron jumps out to an early lead as Hyden can’t seem to figure it out. Aaron fills his glass and Hyden only has about ¼, no contest. So long Hyden.

    Tamie vs. Mark – this one isn’t close either as Mark jumps way out in front. Tamie is having all sorts of trouble getting any milk to come out. Wow, she definitely loses points there, she’s going to have to work on that. Mark wins this one easily, and it’s off to the finals.

    The 3 remaining guys make their way back to the lake, where Joe is waiting for them next to the Mazda. He congratulates them on making it this far and shows them their final stunt:

    The Great Escape
    A clear coffin-like box is hanging below a helicopter 25 feet in the air. Contestants must unlock a set of handcuffs and then unlock 3 locks on the door and jump into the water. The clock will stop when they hit the water. The 2 fastest times will win.

    Aaron is up first, and as the clock starts he has a bit of trouble with the cuffs. He manages to get them off, and has a little difficulty with the door locks. He opens the door and hits the water in 1 minute 9.2 seconds.
    Mark is next, and he too has trouble with the cuffs. It takes him a bit longer, but he gets them off and starts in on the door. He has a tough time with the middle lock, and manages to splash down in 1 minute 17.1 seconds.

    All eyes are on Mike, and he gets the cuffs pretty quickly. He gets into trouble with the top and bottom door locks which cost him valuable time. He passes Mark’s time, and the celebration begins.

    Mark and Aaron are the proud owners of brand spankin’ new sports cars and spots in the final round.


    Next Week: The remaining 12 champions play for spots in the finals in a 2 hour episode that includes “the mouse tank”.


    At the official site http://www.nbc.com/nbc/Fear_Factor/apply.shtml they are taking applications for Couples, Families and Twins for next season. If anyone’s brave enough, knock yourselves out.


    To contact the author, send mail to jr@fansofrealitytv.com

  2. #2
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Great job, JR!

    I loved the "Go(a)t Milk" title!

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    LG.
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    You've hit the mark again, JR. Go(a)t Milk? is hilarious.

    my favorite part:
    He’s ridiculously slow, so slow that I want to reach through the TV and slap him to see if he’s awake. One of the women comments that he “can’t even get it in”, I guess that means no dates for him.
    Help fight cystic fibrosis or just learn more about it at the cystic fibrosis foundation website, www.cff.org and help give my little guy a better future.

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    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    Great job JR.

    Up next is Myles O’Connell vs. South African import Mark Hewlett. The guys get ready, and Holli predicts that Mark will win because “every South African man I’ve ever met is the best at everything”. Umm…ok?
    Umm...ok? were my exact thoughts

    Greg’s pissed and says that there’s no one on the show that can beat him. Uh…Earth to Greg…you just lost, you might want to rethink that.
    I was happy to see him go
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

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    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Fear Factor "Championship Round 1' recap

    Originally posted by JR.
    It seems as if the producers have developed some sort of morals as they show the “action” in wide shots and from behind the contestants. WTF? When did this happen?


    Yet another reason to look forward to the DVD Fear Factor Uncut!

  6. #6
    FORT Fogey
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    What's in a name?

    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Up next is Myles O’Connell vs. South African import Mark Hewlett. The guys get ready, and Holli predicts that Mark will win because “every South African man I’ve ever met is the best at everything”.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    May I point out that Mark Hewlett is NOT from South Africa (The Republic of), he is from Zimbabwe which is an entirely different country.

    Name:
    Mark Hewlett
    Hometown:
    Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe
    Champ Episode:
    #314



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    Re: Fear Factor "Championship Round 1' recap

    Originally posted by JR.
    Fear Factor 04-28-03
    Tamie vs. Mark – this one isn’t close either as Mark jumps way out in front. Tamie is having all sorts of trouble getting any milk to come out. Wow, she definitely loses points there, she’s going to have to work on that. Mark wins this one easily [/i]
    Yes...and...

    Obviously, Mark's victory over Tamie involved more than simply
    the goat-sucking stunt (he was quick to tell us that she gave him her phone#), and if he's willing (yah, right) to allow it, she can work on these sucking skills with him apart from the show!

  8. #8
    JR.
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    Re: What's in a name?

    Originally posted by CaliGirl
    May I point out that Mark Hewlett is NOT from South Africa (The Republic of), he is from Zimbabwe which is an entirely different
    Close enough

  9. #9
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Re: What's in a name?

    Originally posted by JR.
    Close enough
    I used to think they had a lot in common too but the only thing they share is a border. Here's a good article on relations between Zimbabwe and South Africa:

    http://www.alternativesjournal.com/rupiya.htm

    Anyway, Mark is my current fave to win it all. I've always wanted a Rhodesian Ridgeback (a pair really). Man, is that a weak enough reason to root for someone.

  10. #10
    JR.
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    I meant in location

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