Fear Factor 03-10-03
Welcome back for another super sized episode straight from Sin City. Let’s meet this week’s contestants who will be mocked and ridiculed by a live audience:
Gillian Waters – Mom from Altadena, California. She’s tough, or so she tells us.
Thomas Fahrbach – Med Student from Haven, Kansas. He’s average, or so he tells us.
Charisse Rivers – Student from Gainesville, Florida. She doesn’t lose, and she doesn’t like to lose. Well, how does she know that she doesn’t like to lose if she doesn’t lose?
Cory Laforme – Tattoo Artist from Lake Forrest, Illinois. He’s got a lot of ink, and even has a Fear Factor tattoo. These advertisers are out of control. He’s talking trash already.
Janelle Perry – Make-up Artist from Newport Beach, California. She’s not there to have fun, completely contradicting Cindy Lauper.
Greg Peters – Bar Owner from Orlando, Florida. “It’s energy man, badass”. Um…ok?
Host Joe Rogan meets the gang on a walkway and goes over the rules, and mentions that the winner will have to bet 25Gs on a hand of Black Jack. The gang makes their way through a crowded Freemont street and up onto a small platform. Joe introduces the first stunt:
Contestants must swing on a rope, like Tarzan, and land on 2 different platforms suspended above the street. The 2 men and 2 women that make it to the last platform the fastest will move on.
Crazy Cory is up first, and annoying everyone (myself included). He gets into position, and leaps from the first stage. He doesn’t get much of a swing, and doesn’t have the momentum to make it to the platform. He comes to a dead stop before letting go to a chorus of boos from the crowd below. Nice going, psycho.
Joe sweetens the pot by offering a thousand dollars to everyone that makes it to the second platform.
Greg is next, and uses a much better technique. He uses both ropes to build momentum and lands safely on the middle platform. He does the same thing getting to the end, collects a grand, and the crowd goes wild.
Tom is last for the guys, uses Greg’s approach, and is $1000 richer. That’s enough to send Cory and his diarrhea of the mouth packing. I wonder if he’s going to get “LOSER” written under his FF tattoo. It really is a walk of shame as he leaves to a thunderous round of boos.
Janelle is first for the ladies. She tries to copy the guys, but doesn’t have enough of a swing. She manages to grab the platform, but is unable to pull herself up. She hangs for a few seconds, but loses her grip and falls.
Charisse is up next, and tells Joe that she’s done professional obstacle courses. Um…what? Anyhow, it must’ve prepared her for this type of thing as she makes it through without much trouble. + $1000
Gillian closes out this stunt. She ends up like Cory, stuck on the second rope. All 3 ladies will move on to the next stunt.
The gang heads over to a high roller’s suite at Mandalay Bay and is seated at a table. Uh oh, you know what’s coming next:
The Eyes Have It
A slot machine is set up in the corner of the room. On the machine are fish eyes, cow eyes, sheep eyes and FF logos. The contestants will get 1 pull and have to eat a pair of whatever lands on the pay line. If they get 3 logos, they won’t have to eat anything.
Charisse is lucky #1, and just so happens to have an eyeball tattoo on her lower back. She gets a cow, a sheep, and a fish…how fitting. She digs in, and eye juice squirts from her mouth with her first bite. She needs to use her hands to rip apart the cow eyes as they are very tough, almost like jerky. This is one tough chick, not only does she have the guns (meaning her arms, get your minds out of the gutter), she has an iron stomach as well. She cleans her plate without any trouble.
Gillian is next, and gets a full plate too. She describes the cow eye as tasting like “ocean water, pee, and garbage”. I’m not sure how she knows what those taste like, but who am I to judge? Slowly but surely she finishes off all of the eyes as we get to hear them pop in her mouth. Yum.
Greg is next, and gets the eye hat trick. He chomps away, and squirts like a fountain. He doesn’t have much trouble, other than spraying the table with eye juice, and is able to put them all down.
Tom steps to the plate and gets 2 cows and a sheep. Wow, sucks to be him, those cow eyes are about as big as golf balls. He says that he’s dissected cow eyes in school, so he knows what’s inside. Yeah, but does he know what they taste like? Is that some kind of fraternity pledge at med school? Anyhoo, he’s able to polish them all off.
Janelle is last and gets an FF, a sheep, and a fish. Lucky girl. She makes it through the first 3 pretty easily, but on her 4th, spits some back on to her plate. Joe says that she’ll have to eat that too, ‘cause every little bit counts. She scoops the mess up, and downs that too. What a trooper.
It’s off to the Luxor for the final stunt:
…Must Come Down
Contestants will start at the 29th floor of pyramid shaped casino and slide down the outside grabbing as many flags as they can. They must hold onto the flags, and the person that lands with the most will win.
Greg is up first, and goes off to get into the superhero-like “low-friction suit”. He gets into position and begins his rapid decent. He makes it to the bottom with a total of 8 flags.
Janelle is next, but before getting into position, she has to make a pit stop at the bathroom. I guess the eyeballs didn’t agree with her. She’s finally ready, and takes off. She has all sorts of trouble and only manages to hold onto 3. Buh-bye.
Tom is up next, and tries to slow himself down with his feet. That didn’t seem to work out too well, and on his way down he loses quite a few flags. He hits the bottom, and ends up with a total of 7. Another one down.
Charisse is next, and like Janelle, has a bunch of trouble. She spins and bounces all over the place, and only manages to get 2. Joe, being the nice guy that he is, allows her to take the flags home.
All eyes are on Gillian as she goes off to get ready. Greg is practically crapping his pants now, as he has had to wait through the others’ runs. Gillian struggles as well, and is only able to hold on to 3.
Greg is your Fear Factor champion.
But wait! There’s more!
It’s back to Mandalay Bay for a hand of Black Jack where he will have to put up 25Gs. Greg and Joe make their way through the casino crowd and sit down at an empty table where their dealer Chris is waiting for them. The money is exchanged for chips, and 25G is bet. The dealer shows an ace; Greg shows a Jack and an 8, dealer flips over a 2, then a 9, then a 6 which results in a push. One more time! Dealer shows a queen; Greg has a 7 and a Jack, dealer shows another queen. Sorry Greg, you lose half, but Joe informs him that he’ll be coming back for the $100,000 grand champion round.
In 2 weeks: Fear Factor meets Miss USA! We get to watch 6 contestants embarrass themselves and then compete for the Miss USA crown. Oh what fun.
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