Fear Factor – 03-03-03
Ok boys and girls, get ready for a 90 minute-4 stunt episode of everyone’s favorite game show! Let’s meet this weeks special victims:
Tammie Sheffield – Customer Service Rep from Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania. None of her friends think she can do it, probably because of her big boobs.
Mike Zindell – Accountant from Montville, New Jersey. He’s a pretty buff guy, definitely looks intimidating, I wonder if that will help.
Janine Nowell – Personal Trainer from Clovis, California. Yeah…um…ok
Richard Davidson – Farmer from Jeffersonville, Ohio. I don’t know about you, but when someone mentions the word “farmer”, I start hearing banjos.
Marisa Leong – Bartender from St. Louis, Missouri. Her step-mother thinks she’s worthless and weak, and she’s out to prove her wrong.
Eddie Montilla – Firefighter from Miami, Florida. He’s going to try and get into the other people’s heads. Translation: sh*t talker.
The group walks down a road, next to a lake, where they meet up with the host Joe Rogan. Joe welcomes them, goes over the rules, lets them know that there will be 4 stunts today, and introduces their first stunt:
Grab the buoy
A trapeze is suspended from a helicopter that will fly over 20 buoys in the lake. At the top of each buoy is a flag, and the contestants must hang upside down to remove them. The 2 men and 2 women that grab the most flags will advance.
Mike is up first, and Eddie starts with the trash talk. He says something about the ladies ruining their pedicures…I don’t get it, it must be some “fireman-insider” thing. Eddie claims that he will grab 25 flags, hmmm, fireman math? Mike is ready, and begins his run. He manages to grab 6 before holding on to a buoy a bit too long and falling from the trapeze. He doesn’t seem very happy, and shows off the scrapes on his ankles.
Next up is Rich, and he predicts double Mike’s total. He gets hooked up, and is in trouble from the start. He is spinning like a top, but somehow is able to get 6 and keep himself alive.
Ed is next, and it’s time for him to back up his talk. To the dismay of myself and the other contestants, he is able to grab 11 flags. He’ll never shut up now. Since the other 2 guys are tied, they will all move on.
First up for the ladies is Marisa, and she’s wearing a beautiful white 2 piece. While she gets into position, we learn that Tammie used to be a professional wrestler! Yes a real wrestler. None of that oil/mud stuff, but WWE type stuff. I’m impressed, and I have a few moves I’d like to try out…Anyway, Marisa takes off and is able to grab 5 before falling into the water.
Tammie is next, and strips down to a lovely blue 2 piece with white trim, as the others comment on her ample bosom. She goes on to prove that hot chicks are good at something other than the obvious by grabbing 15 flags. Eddie is quiet.
Janine closes it out wearing a pretty light blue 2 piece. She definitely needs longer hair. She starts off slow, missing a few at the beginning. She loses her grip on the trapeze while trying to grab her 4th flag and plummets to a watery exit. 1 down, 5 to go.
The remaining folks walk down the hallway of a jail, complete with bars on both sides. They enter one of the cells to find Joe standing next to what looks like and old electric chair. He lets them in on their next stunt:
Contestants will be strapped to the chair and have needles of various sizes stuck through the skin on their arms. There are 10 needles total, all are sterile and still in the pack, and a professional piercer will do the sticking. Contestants that can withstand all 10 will move on. This show is great, they’ve resorted to actual torture!
Tammie is lucky #1. With much moaning, squealing, and crying, she is able to make it through. Marisa is freaking already, and it’s not even her turn. In a voiceover, Tammie says that she was playing up the pain a little to freak out the others. It certainly seemed convincing to me, and Marisa is practically in tears.
Mike is up next, and barely flinches as the needles are pushed through his arm. He does admit that the last few hurt a little, as they are a bit wider, but is able to deal with all 10.
Eddie is next, as is back to talking trash. He attempts to crack jokes, and even offers to take Marisa’s needles in his other arm. The last few get to him though, as he clenches his fist and grits his teeth, but he finishes it out.
Marisa is up, and she’s nervous but will give it the ol’ college try. She does better than I expected, but it sounds like she’s going into labor with her rapid breathing. No pain, no gain, she sucks it up and finishes.
Rich closes this out, and has a fairly easy time until the last few. He finishes, and the piercer has a tougher time taking them out of his arm than he did putting them in.
It’s on to chapter 3, as the gang makes their way downstairs where Joe lifts the lid on their next stunt:
Fromage de Larve
Contestants will have to eat 4 ounces of stinky cheese covered with maggots. The 4 people with the fastest times will move on.
Rich is up first. He grabs his bowl, takes a few mouthfuls, spits it back into the bowl and quits. Just like that, another one gone.
Joe puts up a 10 minute time limit for the remaining 4, and offers a thousand dollars to the person with the fastest time.
Ed steps up to the plate, and has trouble right away. He gags, chokes, and coughs to the point where I’m expecting internal organs to come flying out. I’m amazed he’s able to keep it down, even I start to feel a bit queasy at this point. This is easily the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, but I can’t stop watching. Some way, some how, he manages to put it all down and keep it down. He certainly has room to talk now.
Mike is next, after laughing non-stop during Ed’s performance. He steps up, grabs his plate, gets the countdown, and then tosses the yummy snack back on the table. He points to Ed and says “you’re a fool”, before turning around and walking away. In voiceover he says that this stunt went way too far, and it’s funny what people will do for money. Well yeah Mike, that’s the point of this show. Duh.
Tammie’s turn. She digs right in, and keeps shoveling the stuff in. She gets about halfway through before she starts gagging, but she presses on. Like a trooper, she’s able to polish off the last little bunch of maggots with time to spare, but doesn’t beat Ed’s time. This is one tough chick.
Marisa is last, and takes a big mouthful. That obviously wasn’t a good idea because she ends up spitting about half of it back into the bowl. A few more chews, and out comes the rest. She quits and heads for the “Official Fear Factor Chuck Bucket”. She gags and heaves while taking her walk of shame.
And them there were 2. Ed and Tammie walk up to the top of what looks like an old oil rig where Joe shows them the final stunt:
A pole is suspended 10 stories above the ground, and a flag is attached near one end. Contestants must make their way to the end of the pole, grab the flag, and attach it to a clip hanging above the pole.
Ed is up first, and slowly makes his way towards the flag. He releases it, and reaches up for the clip, almost losing his balance. He manages to stabilize himself, grab onto the clip, and attach the flag in 29 seconds. He’s pleased with himself, and starts to run his mouth again.
All eyes are on Tammie, and she gets into position. She takes off and makes it to the flag in half the time it took Ed. She grabs the flag and has a bit of trouble trying to clip it. She reaches for the clip again and is able to hook it in 22 seconds. It’s too bad she can’t jump for joy right now.
Buh bye Ed, if I’ve said this once, I’ve said it a thousand times: Talk trash after you win. Ladies and gentlemen, Tammie is you Fear Factor champion!
Next week: A 90 minute episode from the Las Vegas strip, where the winner will be forced to bet the money on a hand of Black Jack.
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