Oh the weather outside is frightful…Snow falls and covers the ground as the “lucky” 6 are introduced:
Shawn Royster – Pro Racquetball Player from Sacramento, California. He’s going to win, he’s got an advantage, but doesn’t share that advantage with us. Uh oh, it’s starting already.
Julie Reish – Microbiology Student from Bradenton, Florida. She’s dressed in proper winter attire – a low cut shirt displaying her ample upper body. It’s like a beer commercial.
Omar Vasquez – Radio DJ from Orlando, Florida. “Break a leg, break an arm, break my spine, I’ll keep going to the end”. It would’ve sounded better if he used his wacky radio voice.
Shelby Smith – Criminal Justice Student from Apopka, Florida. Oooo cuff me!
Sou Chanthirat – Bank Service Rep from Charlotte, North Carolina. She’s doing this for her parents, which has to be some sort of abuse. Like Julie, Sou has decided to show off her assets.
Todd Staples – Visual Effects Artist from Stinson Beach, California. He’s focused, very focused. Good for him.
They make their way through the snow covered field and meet up with host Joe Rogan. Joe goes over the rules and directs their attention to the first stunt:
Ferris Wheel Walk
A giant wheel is suspended 100 feet in the air. Contestants must stay on top for as long as possible while it spins. The 2 men and 2 women with the longest times will move on.
Julie kicks things off, and while she gets ready, Sou, Shelby and Shawn start the trash talk. Don’t these folks watch the show? That’s usually the kiss of death. Julie starts off with baby steps, and comes close to losing it. She makes a recovery and manages to stay on for 27.3 seconds before taking a header. Lucky for her she has built-in airbags.
Shelby is up next, and starts off with an awkward looking walk. It looks like she’s had an accident in her pants. She gets slightly ahead of the wheel, but quickly falls behind. She slides off in 25.2 seconds.
Sou finishes up for the women. She’s done the talking, now it’s time for the walking. She starts off a bit behind the wheel, and her little legs are in overdrive. But, it’s not enough and she takes a spill in 16.4 seconds. Let this be a lesson, talk sh*t AFTER you win. Buh bye.
Todd is up first for the guys, as the wind picks up. He has an interesting run and almost falls on 4 separate occasions. He manages to hang on for 41.4 seconds.
Shawn is next, and thinks that his racquetball experience will help him. I don’t see the connection, but if he says so. He has a great run, and stops at 1.14. He stands at the top of the wheel and lets out a not-so-manly yell and even sillier pose. That’s it brother, keep digging your own grave.
The pressure is on Omar, and he starts off fairly well. After a couple of close calls he finds himself fighting to stay on, and comes up short. 1.2 seconds short at 40.2, heh spin this.
The gang makes their way through the snow to arrive in a kitchen. This can’t be good:
Fear Factor’s Meat Lovers Pizza
The crust is made with bile from a cow’s bladder; the paste is made with coagulated blood; the cheese is rotten. There are 3 pots, they are marked “Worms”, “Fish eyes”, and “Combo”. Contestants will toss a pie pan and whichever pot it lands in will be their topping. They will have 10 minutes to eat 1 slice.
Shawn is lucky #1 and gets the worms. He struggles with every bite as the others comment and moan in disgust. He is able to finish it, and as soon as he gets the OK from Joe he grabs “The Official Fear Factor Chuck Bucket” and runs behind the stove. “Come on, do that out here so we can film it” Joe taunts. Gee, thanks Joe.
Todd is up next and gets worms too. He decides to pick off the little critters and down them first, which he does with no problem. He gets about halfway through the rest of it before he has any trouble, but manages to finish, lick his fingers, and keep it down.
Shelby is first for the ladies, and she gets worms also. She plugs her nose for the first few bites, but it doesn’t seem to help much. She has a very tough time with every bite, and appears to be shaking. It’s getting down to the wire, and Joe starts the countdown. She swallows the last bit with 2 seconds left, and after the OK gets her very own “Official Fear Factor Chuck Bucket”.
While Shelby is recovering, Joe turns to Julie and asks how she’s doing. I can see that she’s cold, and she says that she’s already feeling sick. Shelby returns, and after about a minute runs off for round 2 with the bucket.
Julie goes for, and gets, the eyes. None of the others give her a chance, but she tears right into it. Eyeballs are popping, but she keeps going after gagging a few times. She is able to finish with the fastest time and keep it down. What a trooper.
Back out in the snow, the contestants arrive poolside for the final stunt:
The Great Escape
Contestants will be chained to a platform and lowered into the water. Once fully submerged, they must figure out which of the 3 keys will open the 2 locks. The time starts when their head is covered, and ends when it breaks the surface. The person with the fastest time will win.
Shawn is up first, and Mr. Cocky shouts “You’re not going to be happy I went first”. Keep digging kid. He goes under, and has trouble with the first lock and moves on to the other. He opens that one on the first try and goes back to the first. After finally opening that lock he comes up yelling in 32 seconds, he’s not happy with his time. Ha ha.
Todd is up next, and Shawn says he has no chance. Dig, dig, dig Shawn. Todd goes under and opens the first lock on the first key he tries. He gets the other with the second key and hits the surface in 21 seconds. Shawn hides his face in his hands and complains that this stunt is all about luck, and if it was something physical or mental he would’ve won. Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve – whatever.
SWIMSUIT TIME! Shelby is first for the women, and is wearing a lovely 2 piece. She goes down, fumbles with the first lock, then fumbles with the second lock. At about 20 seconds, she decides that she’s had enough and calls for the safety divers. Bye Shelby **sniff sniff**
All eyes are on Julie as she removes her top to reveal a skimpy Navy blue 2 piece that she’s spilling out of. She may have trouble submerging. Julie assumes the position on the platform and is lowered slowly into the cold, cold water… Ahem, just like Shelby, she has trouble with both locks and gives up in a pathetic 10 seconds. Sadly, there are no shots of her exiting the pool, only a quick shot at the surface with the divers and one with a robe on. Damn you Fear Factor!
Todd is your winner, apparently fear is not a factor for him.
Next week: Monday has an all gross episode with blood, bugs, and skunks.
Tuesday has an all female episode (woo hoo!)
To contact the author, send mail to firstname.lastname@example.org