Fear Factor – 11/15/04
Hey kids, I’ve got good news and bad news for this week’s show. The good news is that this episode is an “all models” show. The bad news is that it’s NOT an all female show. Well, something for the ladies I guess. Away we go…
Jonathan Howard – from Warner Robbins, Georgia.
Christina Lindley – from Nashville, Tennessee.
Chris Austad – from Bellflower, California.
Tina Bishop – from Mesquite, Texas.
Kenneth DePagter – from Chicago, Illinois.
Kathryn Lillecrapp – from Brisbane, Australia. To make up for that awful last name, she has a very cute, sexy voice - much like our own Aussie hottie, duckgirl.
I know I usually say something after each contestant, but they had nothing. Therefore, I have nothing. Seriously, they should’ve just flashed headshots or modeling photos with their info on the screen.
The gang meets up with host Joe Rogan at the side of a lake. He gives his usual speech and shows them the first stunt:
Welcome Back Chopper
Ten rings hang from a platform that is attached to the skids of a helicopter. Contestants must make their way through all of the rings and release a flag at the last one. In case no one makes it that far, the 2 men and 2 women that get the farthest the fastest will move on.
Jonathan is up first, and we learn that he dropped out of med school to become a model because it was too much work. Wow, who’d have thought you had to study to be a doctor? He gets into position and takes off. John uses a slow, steady pace to end up with 6 rings in 53.6 seconds.
Ken is up next, and we learn that he has a degree in Spanish. That was money well spent. He takes off to a much faster pace, swinging wildly from ring to ring. He loses his grip going for #7, and hits the water hard. Ken does take the lead with 6 rings in 26 seconds.
Chris finishes up for the men, and we find out that he put himself though school by parking cars. He doesn’t say what he majored in, not that it matters anyway. He starts off a bit shaky, but pulls it together and calmly goes through all 10 rings and releases the flag. That impressive performance will send Jonathan down the walk of shame.
Christina is up first for the ladies, and shares a lovely pink 2-piece with us. We find out that she writes articles for a few different fitness magazines. Wonderful. She gets into position and takes off, getting stuck on ring #2. Chris slips while going for the next one, and hits the water with 2 rings in 6 seconds.
Tina is next, and graces our screens with a tiny, olive green bikini. She should get extra points just for that. She could’ve used those extra points, as she falls while going for the first one. An awful, sad, pathetic attempt.
Kathryn finishes things for the ladies, and we learn that she’s never actually seen the show, only commercials. Oh boy. We also learn that she’s sporting a multi colored bikini when she shimmies out of her shorts. She hesitates on the small platform for a bit, but is able to get 3 rings. That sends Tina on her merry way.
The fantastic 4 walk down a path in a field and arrive at a greenhouse. Joe welcomes them, warns them that it will be nasty, and shows them the next stunt:
Six ropes are hanging from the ceiling of the greenhouse. Stuck to the ropes are worms, crickets, cockroaches and 3 types of beetles. It looks like giant fly-paper. Contestants will have 1 minute to transfer the critters from the rope to a bowl on a scale using only their mouths. The person with the least amount of transferred goodness will be sent home, and the person with the most weight will get to pick the order of the final stunt.
Chris is up first, and doesn’t seem to be bothered at all. Back and forth he goes without even the slightest gag. His time runs out, and he’s collected 203.2 grams. Grams? WTF?
Kathryn is next, and takes right off. She attacks the ropes and even goes as far as licking them…which is kind of hot in a sick and twisted way. For all her effort, she ends up with 136 grams.
Christina goes next, and starts out tentative. Her little girly mouthfuls don’t add up to much, and it sure doesn’t help when she misses the bowl. Another sorry attempt, she finishes with 52.2 grams.
Ken finishes this stunt, and is at a bit of a disadvantage because the ropes are not replaced. He gets going and gags a bit, but manages to stay with it. He’s moving fast but isn’t getting much. He finishes with 71.6 grams, just enough to send Christina home.
Two women are gone, and I’m upset as the 3 remaining folks walk through a dry reservoir and meet up with Joe. He congratulates them and reveals the final stunt:
A Bit Flushed
Contestants will have 30 seconds to transfer as many flags as possible from their belt to the inside of a 1500 gallon cylinder filled with water. Once the time has expired, or they run out of air, they will be flushed into the pool below. The contestant that clips the most flags will win.
Ken is chosen to go first, and gets into position. He gets the countdown and slowly makes his way into the cylinder. He seems to be taking his sweet old time, and that might cost him. Time runs out and he is flushed with 4 flags in 29.7 seconds.
Kathryn is next, and displays her yoga skills by doing a backbend and popping right back up. Mercy. She chooses to do this stunt in a pink and white flowered 2-piece. She gets into position and quickly gets to work. She ends up with a great showing of 6 flags in 29.82 seconds.
It’s all up to Chris as he gets ready. He begins and gets out to a good pace. It’s going to come right down to the wire, as Joe informs us that Chris clipped his 7th flag AFTER time had expired. The official time is – 6 in 27.3 seconds!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Chris is your Fear Factor “Models” champion.
Next Week: A special Thanksgiving edition!
I’m not really a model, I just play one on Tv… firstname.lastname@example.org