Fear Factor – 11/08/04
Hey boys and girls, tonight you’re in for a treat. For their 100th episode, Fear Factor heads to New York where the freaks should feel right at home. Who’d have thought this silly show would be around so long? Who’d have thought there would be so many folks willing to embarrass themselves on national TV for a shot at 50 grand – BEFORE TAXES? Well, here we are…and here we go.
Kelli Bell – Grad student from Coco Beach, Florida. I’m guessing she’s a bit excited, as she says it 4 times in her opening statement.
Mark Backeris – Med student from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He has nothing to say, really.
Nicole Dominguez – Gym manager from Silverdale, Washington. If she said something, I didn’t hear it. I was busy being mesmerized by her long blonde hair.
Timothy Zickuhr – Longshoreman from Palos Verde, California. He says he’s not necessarily here to win, but wants everyone to see the craziest guy in the world. Um…ok.
Elizabeth Passarelli – Cocktail server from Trinidad, Colorado. With her hair braided like Pocahontas, I didn’t hear a thing she said either.
Patrick Tracey – Fitness trainer from Bronx, New York. Representin’ yo! He admits to being cocky, and is not too happy about the other contestants trying to “infiltrate his turf”. His turf? Do people still say that?
The gang is assembled on a fire boat as they make their way down the East River. Cut to them walking along the bank where they meet up with host Joe Rogan. Before his usual speech, Joe tells them that since this is a special episode, they will be playing for a chance at up to 100 grand. Whoever is crowned champion will get to choose a Capital One™ credit card worth anywhere from 60 to 100 thousand dollars. And away we go:
And find I'm king of the hill - top of the…tram?
As a tram travels hundreds of feet above the river, contestants must climb out and traverse a cargo net underneath the tram, removing as many of the 9 flags as possible. The clock stops when they let go of the net. The 2 men and 2 women that get the most flags the fastest will move on.
Mark is up first, and Patrick begins to run his mouth, already calling himself the champ. Mark gets into position, and begins his climb out. His steady, workman like approach gets him 5 flags in 1:06.4.
Pat is up next, claims to have a home court advantage, and all the others are going home. He starts out well, but begins to struggle after getting #4. He hangs on, and is able to get 2 more before losing his grip. 6 flags in 1:32.6
Tim finishes up for the guys, and is eerily subdued. No emotion, like serial killer calm. Maybe his is crazy. He gets going, and struggles after #3. He fights, but loses his grip and all over for him.
Elizabeth is first for the ladies. In her little crop-top and short shorts, she goes over her adrenaline junkie past of skydiving, scuba diving, and cliff diving. Hmm, lots of diving. There’s a joke there somewhere. Liz takes off and gets out to a fast start. She stays strong and finishes with 6 flags in 1:19.3
Kelli is up next, and we learn that she’s getting her masters degree in “spiritual psychology”. WTF kind of useless degree is that? I hope her parents aren’t footing the bill. Funny, she doesn’t look like a hippie. She gets going, but looks to be having a tough time. She fights her way to 4 flags in 1:19.7
Nicole finishes this stunt, and is shooting for all of them. She starts smoothly, and calmly works her way around to finish with 6 flags. That sends Kelli back to her granola.
The group moves on to their next challenge, and find themselves walking through Times Square on a rainy evening. They find Joe standing in front of a vending cart with a blender on top. No hot dogs for these folks:
You Dirty Rat
Contestants must eat a bowl of blended rat and rat broth. They will compete head to head, and the winners of the heats will move on to the finals. Mmm. Looks like oatmeal, tastes like…
Nicole vs. Elizabeth – They are given their bowls, spoons, and countdown. The girls begin shoveling, and right away Liz has trouble. She picks up the pace though, and makes up for the slow start. It comes right down to the wire, but Nicole is able to finish slightly ahead. With the official announcement, Liz reaches for the “Official Fear Factor Chuck Bucket”, and we get a nice shot of her bending over blowing chunks.
Pat vs. Mark – They get the countdown and attack the bowls. Pat is like a machine, downing spoonful after spoonful of the lovely rodent porridge. Mark is struggling at first, but is able to stay with it. It’s not enough though, as Pat goes on to win and talk more trash.
On to the finals for Pat and Nicole. They find themselves on a ferry to the Statue of Liberty, and it’s windy and rainy. Joe congratulates them on making it this far, reminds them of the Capital One™ credit card, and shows them the final stunt:
They Flew the Choppers All the Way to New York?
A clear climbing wall is suspended from two helicopters. Contestants must walk along the 2 inch lip and collect flags along the way and then drop into the water to stop the clock. The person that gets the most flags the fastest will get to pick one of the Capital One™ credit cards.
Nicole loses the coin toss and is going first. She prepares by stripping down to reveal a beautiful blue bikini. Pat once again calls himself the champ, and as if on cue, my doorbell rings. Any guesses on who it could be? If you guessed our old buddy Foreshadowing, you win! She gets going and makes it all the way down one side without any trouble. Nic maneuvers around the end and starts back up the other side. She is able to get all 8 flags, clip them to her belt, and hit the water in 1:14.1
It’s put up time for Pat, and he again calls himself champ. My pal giggles. He gets going, secures the first flag, but DROPS the next one. So much for the champ, talk is cheap.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Nicole is your 100th episode in New York Fear Factor champion! She now gets to select one of the Capital One™ credit cards. She grabs one from the middle and peels off the sticker on the back to reveal 80 thousand dollars!
Next week: a show with all models and “bug on the cob”!
Hey beerman, send your sweet nectar of the gods to firstname.lastname@example.org