Fear Factor 03-22-04
Here we are again kids, it’s time for another episode of everyone’s favorite game show. And now, this week’s victims:
Heidi McIntosh – Model from Dallas, Texas. Wow, a model! That’s something you never see on a reality show.
Eric Thulander – Machinist from Mission Viejo, California. OK, so we already have the model and now we have the big muscle guy. These casting folks may be onto something here.
Tatiana Butler – Trainer/Bodybuilder from Baltimore, Maryland. OH. MY. GOD! It’s the She-Hulk. She’s just as big as the muscle guy. I am afraid. **shudder**
Michael Raspatello – Entrepreneur from Washington, D.C. This little guy with the stupid headband is about half the size of Tatiana. He cracks “I know I’m not going to win, I’ll probably be gone by the time my mom tunes in”.
Stephanie Serynek – Event Planner from Brooklyn, New York. She seems very perky, almost too happy for this show.
Stacy Teems – Customer Service Rep. from Las Vegas, Nevada. He’s very very confident despite having a girls name.
The gang makes their way to the top of a building and meets up with host Joe Rogan. After the usual opening speech, Joe directs their attention upward to the first stunt:
This is much like the stunt in Vegas where they slide down the Luxor. Contestants will start at the top of a 65 story building, and as they drop towards the ground they’ll have to grab and hold on to as many flags as possible. The 2 men and 2 women with the most flags will move on.
Eric kicks things off, and is dedicating this to his buddy that passed away recently. While he’s off getting hooked up, Joe discusses Tatiana’s “look”. She claims to weigh 178, so Joe picks her up in a bear hug and swings her around a bit. She returns the favor by picking him up in a “fireman’s carry” with incredible ease. I am very afraid now. Eric is ready and begins his decent. He misses the first few, but is able to get into a rhythm grabbing from one side hand holding in the opposite hand. Eric ends up with 4 flags.
Michael is up next, and reveals that not only is he afraid of heights, but he’s deathly afraid of birds. Live birds, dead birds, it doesn’t matter. Maybe he’ll use the silly headband to cover his eyes. He gets going and is having all kinds of trouble. He’s just simply missing a bunch of flags. He does manage to grab 3 of them some how.
Stacy is up next, and talks a little smack. The others are hoping he fails as they’re tired of listening to him already. Stacy takes off and is moving really fast. He uses Eric strategy of grabbing from one side and ends up with 5 flags. That sends Mike home, I guess he was right.
Heidi is up first for the ladies. She’s very nervous and is hyperventilating a bit before her decent. I would just like to say that the helmet cam is a beautiful thing. Thank you Fear Factor. Heidi doesn’t fare so well, as her nerves get the best of her and is only able to get 2 flags.
Stephanie is next, and is still a bit hyper. She gets underway, and gets into a pretty good groove. Steph drops a few flags, but manages to hold on to 5 of them.
Tatiana finishes this stunt. She-Hulk’s arms are about the size of my legs. I just locked all the doors and windows. She gets going and misses the first couple. She’s twisting back and forth, and that’s causing problems. Tat is able to grab 2 and tie Heidi, therefore all the ladies move on.
The folks make their past the wrecked cars of a junk yard. They find Joe standing in front of one that’s covered. He dumps a bucket of critters on the tarp and fills them in on the next stunt:
Super worms, Red worms, Stink beetles, crickets and grasshoppers are splattered on the windshield of a car. Contestants will have 2 minutes to transfer the critters from the windshield to a container on a scale using only their mouths. The 3 people with the most weight will move on.
Tatiana is up first, and hits the car like a linebacker. Bug stuff covers her face and big fake boobs as she races back and forth as the others cheer her on. Tat finishes out of breath with 6 ounces.
Heidi is up next, and even though this is a very sick stunt, she looks really hot doing it. She’s using her tongue and licking in an upward direction, almost lapping it up. Very sick, but also very HOT! Yes, I have issues. While this strategy is working great for me, it isn’t working well for this competition, as she is only getting tiny mouthfuls. At the end of what seemed like an awful short 2 minutes, Heidi ends up with 5.78 ounces.
Eric is next, and claims to have a plan. He gets going and tries to push all the bugs into a pile with his face. It doesn’t really work well, and he wastes valuable time. On his way to the scale, he slips and slams his head into the 55 gallon drum, but recovers nicely. He ends up finishing with 5.5 ounces. So much for that plan.
Stacy steps to the plate, and claims to be going for 8oz. Tat cracks that he should be good at this because of his big mouth. He replies with a half-assed comeback because he is clearly afraid of her too. He gets underway and steadily goes about his work. Stacy ends up with 7 ounces. That sends Eric home
Steph finishes the stunt, and takes off with a very quick pace. She makes more trips than the others, and gets fairly good mouthfuls as well. Steph finishes with 7.38 ounces, sending Heidi on her way. Aww, so sad. I will gladly volunteer to console her.
The 3 remaining contestants make their way to the shipyard, and meet up with Joe on the docks. He congratulates them on making it that far, and shows them the final stunt:
Round & Round
A square structure is suspended above the water. There is a small platform on each side holding 2 flags, and a rotating beam in the center. Contestants must leap from the beam to the platforms, grab 1 flag at a time, jump back to the beam, and make it to the center and attach the flag. The person that gets the most flags the fastest will win.
She-Hulk is up first and flexes while getting into her bikini. I am now curled up in the fetal position. She gets going and is moving very slow, it’s clear that she’s having trouble with her balance. Tat makes it to the first platform, but falls into the water when jumping back to the beam. With a score of 0, she is on the way home.
Steph is next, and we only get to see the bottom half of an orange 2-piece. Come on guys! She gets off to a slow, steady pace and the beam begins to pick up speed. She reaches the halfway point at about 2 minutes, and comes close to losing it a few times. Steph holds on and completes it in 3:33.9.
Stacy finishes this stunt with some more trash talk. He starts out a bit quicker that Steph, but comes close to falling a few times. He’s got about a 15 second lead at the midpoint, but his pace slows a little. You know it’s going to be close when the time clock disappears with 2 flags remaining. Stacy gets both, and isn’t told his time until he gets back down to the dock….3:20.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Stacy is your Fear Factor champion! One of the very few that talked the talk and also walked the walk.
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