Fear Factor 02-02-04
Hey gang, we’re back with episode #4 of “Couples” Fear Factor. After a rather interesting show last week, with stolen prizes and no one going home, we get a bit closer to the big prize - 1 million dollars. And away we go…
After a brief recap, the remaining 5 couples arrive back at the lake where they meet up with host Joe Rogan. He lets them know that they’re more than halfway home, and fills them in on their next stunt:
A Bit Cagey
A cage is hanging from the bottom of a helicopter (ha) with a knotted rope hanging from the bottom of the cage. The women will be locked inside the cage, while the men must make it to the rope on the back of a jet-ski and then climb the rope. Once the guys reach the top of the rope, they will hand off 2 keys, one for each lock. The women must then unlock both locks and jump into that water. The couple that completes this the fastest will win 10 thousand dollars and a pair of Sony “Cybershot” underwater digital cameras. The clock starts when the guy is on the rope, and it stops when the girl hits the water.
Jackson & Monica are up first, and she blesses us with a lovely blue bikini with white stars. He rides off on the jet-ski as she gets into the cage. Jackson grabs the rope and starts his ascent. He gets to the top in less than 30 seconds and hands off the keys. Monica has a bit of trouble with the locks, and splashes down in 46.6 seconds. That reminded me of gym class, except there was no water, helicopter…or Monica.
Melissa & Jim are next, and they feel pretty confident. Rachel babbles on about something, but I’m tuning her out. It’s like the school teacher in Charlie Brown, “wah-wah-wahwahwah.” They get into position and take off. Jim gets up the rope much quicker, hands off the keys, and falls hard into that water. Mel opens the locks and takes the plunge in a time of 37.7. Damn, these 2 are good.
The hated Adam & Meg are next, and for some strange reason, he kisses his biceps. Hmm, I think I’ve taken dumps bigger that his arms. They get going and Adam almost misses the rope and comes close to falling in. Once he grabs it, he makes it to the top in a hurry. He hands off the keys, and Meg starts in on the locks. She gets both on the first try, and hits the water in 37.5. Two tenths of a god damned second! Ugh.
Meghan & James are up next, and she treats us to a cute little striped bikini. They get ready and get underway. James is moving very slowly, so slow that he passes A&M’s time. He doesn’t give up though, and eventually makes it to the top. Meghan frees herself and they finish with a time of 1:06.3. James is dejected, they haven’t won a stunt yet and it’s starting to take its toll on him. She offers words of encouragement, and looks awfully good with her hair wet.
Todd & Rachel finish this stunt. Todd thinks his rock climbing experience with help, and Rach offers a bit of advice, “Don’t stop, don’t stop to take a break”. Well no s*** Einstein. Todd, it’s still not too late to run. They get going, and Todd is having trouble. I guess that since this isn’t a rock he’s climbing, that experience isn’t helping. He’s about ¾ of the way up and decides to let go, splashing down at 1:09. James is thrilled that someone else came in last, and Joe offers to get Todd some panties after that poor attempt. Rachel starts to nag, and I stop listening.
Luckily for them, no one is going home just yet. But, to everyone else’s disgust, Adam & Meg win again.
They now make their way through a warehouse and out into an alley. It’s raining, and they don’t seem too thrilled. They are even less thrilled when Joe informs them that one couple will be going home after this next stunt:
The men will be inside a dumpster filled with junk and must find the 2 containers (out of 7) that are filled with pig uterus and cow stomach. They will hand the container to their woman who must run to the end of the alley and find a corresponding key. She will then run back to a table, open the container, and eat the contents. If the container is empty, they must go back and try it all over again. The couple with the fastest time will win 10 thousand dollars, and the couple with the slowest time will be sent home.
Melissa & Jim are up first. Jim hops into the dumpster and gets the countdown. He splashes around for about 2 and a half minutes before finally finding a canister. Mel takes off towards the keys, grabs one, and heads for the table. She opens the container to find…NOTHING! Back to square one, and it takes almost a full 2 minutes to find another. Luckily, this one is with the yummy goodness. Mel does a great job chowing the stuff down and heads back for more. They get lucky again with the 3rd can and Mel tears into the uterus. She fights to get it, and keep it, down. They finish in 9:18.5. That doesn’t look good.
Meghan & James are up next, and get off to a good start. He passes out the first can in about 6 seconds. Meghan hurries to get the key only to find the canister empty. James already has the next 2 cans waiting, so they don’t waste much time here. Can #2 has the uterus, and she struggles to get it down. She finishes at around 6 minutes, and heads off for another one. She chooses right again, and begins to dine on the cow stomach. She fights hard, and downs the last bit in 8:53.1. I am impressed, I didn’t think she’d be able to do it.
Adam & Meg are up, and find a can right away. That one has the uterus, and she begins to eat. I hope she chokes. A lot. Adam finds the rest of the cans, and yells at Meg to hurry up. She yells a few profanities as she chews. She finishes at a little over 4 minutes, and goes for another can. And wouldn’t you know it, the second can has the stomach. They are way ahead as she starts digs in. Meg polishes off the last bite in a time of 5:35.6. Damn them.
Jackson & Monica are next, and thankfully, she’s wearing a tube-top. Jackson scores immediately and Monica runs off. Their first can is empty, but the second has the uterus. She finishes at about 3 minutes and races for another one. Can #4 has the stomach and Monica starts chomping. The little trooper downs it and they end up with a time of 4:42.4. Adam & Meg start to argue again. Apparently Meg wanted the money for a boob job, and Adam said she’ll have to wait for them now. Then she slapped him. Nice. Weren’t they just making fun of Monica’s alteration? If I had the power, I’d make them spontaneously combust. Twice.
Rachel & Todd finish things, and Todd is looking for redemption. The first can contains the stomach, and Rach downs it at just over a minute. The second can has the uterus, and she polishes that of to finish with a time of 2:49.9. Geez.
We must now say good bye to Melissa & Jim. I like them, too bad they have to go. But, they did manage to steal the Jeeps from the forces of evil, so they are winners in my book.
Come back again next week when they promise that things will get tougher, and we’ll be one step closer to the finals.
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