Fear Factor 01-19-04
Welcome back for round #2 of “Couples” Fear Factor. Tonight, we have 2 whole hours of fun & games. Last week we said goodbye to Ty & Jen and Nafisah & Gichi. Let’s see who goes this week.
The remaining couples gather in a lot, right in front of a pool. Host Joe Rogan makes his appearance and welcomes them back for more punishment. Joe explains that no one will be sent home after this next stunt, but 1 lucky couple will win a pair of brand new Jeep Wranglers.
Sink or Swim
Couples will be chained to a platform by their ankles and lowered into the pool. They will each have 3 keys and have to figure out which one will open the locks. Once the locks are open, they must swim to a buoy. If either one quits, the couple is eliminated. The couple with the fastest time will win the Jeeps. The clock starts when the first person’s head is submerged, and stops when the second person touches the buoy.
Melissa & Jim are up first, and Mel is sporting a lovely black and white bikini. The others are discussing their strategies, except for Adam & Meg who are arguing again. This time, she gets pissed as Adam tries to explain “clockwise” to her. Much too tough of a concept for her, I guess. M&J are in position and are lowered into the pool. Once both are under, they go right to work on the locks. Amazingly, they both open with the first key, and they make it to the surface at almost the same time. They race to the buoy and reach it in a time of 33.9 seconds.
Tommie & Gina are next, and Gina slips into a hot pink bikini. Hey Gina, how YOU doin’? They get ready and are lowered in. Tommie frees himself first and swims for the buoy, leaving his wife behind. Gina struggles with the lock and needs to be rescued by safety divers at about 30 seconds. Luckily for them, they will get to play on.
Dave & Simone are next, and Simone treats us with a sexy black 2 piece. Dave makes the classic mistake of talking a bit of smack by saying that the others are all losers. Uh oh. They get underway, and it doesn’t take long. Simone panics and quits at around 7 seconds. She claims that she almost died. In 7 seconds. But she does manage to almost fall out of her top and grace us with a backstroke.
Jackson & MONICA are next, and she’s standing there in an amazing orange/red bikini. Adam reads my mind and wonders if she’ll be able to sink. They get going, and yes, she does sink. They both have little trouble with the locks, with J escaping first. They reach the buoy in 26.1 seconds. I would like to thank the cameraman for giving us the underwater “Jaws” angle during her swim.
Adam & Meg are next and everyone hates them. Dave comments that they’ll probably be arguing underwater. I wouldn’t doubt it. Simone says that Adam is always angry and Meg is a bitch. Sounds like a vicious circle to me, but that bitch is wearing a beautiful black and white 2-piece. They begin and are able to open the locks with their second keys. They swim to the buoy in 24.1 seconds to take over the lead.
Meghan & James are up, and speaking of up, Meghan blesses us with a beige bikini. She kind of looks like Tara Reid, only less skanky. They share a good luck kiss to a chorus of “awwww”, before taking off. Meghan is able to free herself first and make it to the buoy, but James struggles and calls it off at around 25 seconds.
Rachel & Todd finish this stunt, and it’s up to them to beat out the evil duo of Adam & Meg. They get going, but Rach forgets to take the lock off the chain, wasting valuable time. They start the swim, but pass A&M’s time. A&M celebrate their win to a half-assed round of applause as they go over to inspect their new Jeeps.
The gang makes their way through a warehouse to find Joe standing in front of 2 tubs, a spout, and a chute. Things are about to get ugly.
Bobbing for…Cow Hearts
One person will stand at the top tub and must move the hearts from that tub into the chute. The other person will stand at the lower tub, wait for the hearts to slide down, and then transfer them from that tub into a bucket. They will be doing this while a soupy blend of roach, cow and pig parts gushes from the spout, filling their tubs. They must transfer 7 hearts using only their mouths. The couple with the slowest time will be sent home, and the fastest couple will win 10 thousand dollars.
Mel & Jim start things off again. Jim chooses the upper tub, believing that will be the more difficult of the two. They get the countdown, and Jim dives right in. The others cover their faces and complain about the stench as these two methodically plod through. Mel has a tough time grabbing the last 2, but they finish in 1:36.6
Rachel & Todd are up next, with Todd taking the upper tub. They start at a pretty good pace, but slow down after 2. The censor has to step in and blur Rach’s plumber’s crack as she is leaning way in. She gets it eventually, and their time is 1:58.2
Dave & Simone are next, and Dave takes the top spot as well. They get going, but are off to a slow pace right out of the gate. Hearts slam into Simone’s head as she struggles to grab the one already in her tub. She freaks a bit and starts to scream like a little girl. They finally finish at 3:08 and she heads straight for the “Official Fear Factor Chuck Bucket”. It doesn’t look good for these 2.
Jackson & MONICA are next, and they decide to switch things up and have her go up top. She looks good on top. She has a bit of trouble holding on to the hearts at first, but eventually they get a rhythm going. The last few go quickly and they finish in 1:14.4 to take the lead. Jim swears that he swallowed a chunk of heart.
Tommie & Gina are up next, and revert back to the missionary position. They get going, and Gina is practically climbing into the tub to reach the hearts. They are off the lead time, but still making progress. They end up at 2:30.
Meghan & James are next. Meghan reveals that she is a bit under the weather and the smell isn’t helping any. She takes the top tub, and like a trooper, digs right in. Along the way, James misses the bucket and has to go back to the tub for another, costing valuable time. They fight their way through to finish in 2:48.5 while getting cheers from the group.
Adam & Meg finish this stunt, and argue about which way to put the goggles on. They get into position, with Meg at the top, and begin. After getting the first one, Meg starts to freak a bit, and slows down. They still manage to stay in the game with a time of 2:03.6, but Jackson & MONICA win the 10 Gs. Say goodbye to Dave & Simone.
The remaining couples make their way through a shipyard and meet up with Joe on the dock. Joe informs us that Meghan is too sick to even attend this next stunt, and it’s a good thing that no one will be eliminated. He lets them know that the winner of this stunt will choose one of five Capital One credit cards, ranging in value from 10 to 50 thousand dollars. He then directs their attention to the water:
Baby Hold On
The couples will be suspended by their ankles to a beam over the water. They will each hold the end of a rope as the beam spins. The couple that holds onto the rope the longest before being flung into the water will get to pick a card.
Adam & Meg are up first for a change, and surprisingly don’t argue this time. They get into position and begin to spin. She struggles as the beam picks up speed, eventually letting go. They hit the water at 51.7 seconds and start to argue, and continue arguing in the boat. You knew it was too good to last.
Jim & Mel are up next. They don’t fare too well in this stunt, as Mel loses her grip and they hit the water in 30.3 seconds.
Todd & Rachel are next and get into position. They look to be doing fine when all of a sudden Rach lets go and they take the plunge in 43.9 seconds.
Jackson & MONICA are up next. She’s so tiny that I don’t give them much of a chance, as she’ll have all of his weight pulling on the rope. He’s 175 lbs. and she’s 95. They get going, with Jackson telling her to “just chill”. He talks the whole way through, encouraging her every time Joe yells out their time. In an amazing display, they pass A&M’s time and end up hitting the water with a time of 1:07.4. I am in shock. Even A&M stop arguing for a second to applaud.
Tommie & Gina finish this stunt, and are very confident. They get ready and get underway. Tom talks her through it as well, but it doesn’t go as smoothly. She lets go and they splash down in 34.4 seconds.
Joe walks over to Jackson & MONICA with the credit cards. There are 5 cards (10, 15, 20, 25, 50) spread out in Joe’s hand. She chooses the top card and peels the tape off the back to reveal 25 thousand dollars. Their cash total is now at 35 grand.
The group assembles in a park in front of a picnic table. Joe welcomes them and tells them that they will be having a pie eating contest, and that one couple is going home. Meghan is back, and says that she’s feeling better. She won’t be for long.
Just Like Grandma Used to Make
Couples will have to dig through the pies using only their mouths to find 4 giant coins. Once all 4 coins are placed in a dish, they will have to drink a smoothie containing all of the ingredients in the pies. The pies are: duck tongue, maggot, pig stomach, and rotten fish. All of the pies have a bile crust. Yummy! The couple with the slowest time will be sent home, and the winning couple will receive 10 grand.
The horrified couples look on as Meghan & James step up to the plate. Begrudgingly, they get the countdown and dig in. They find the 4 coins fairly fast, and turn their attention to the thick, nasty shake. They have all sorts of trouble, gagging with every sip, but somehow manage to get to the last few mouthfuls. James loses it and blows chunks without even having time to reach for the bucket. That freaked everyone out except for Rachel, who seemed to enjoy it. Weirdo. Meghan reveals that she wasn’t really drinking, so James ended up downing most of that mess. So close, but now they’ll have to wait and see.
Mel & Jim are the next victims, and they get right down to business. They plow through and begin drinking at around 35 seconds. They too have a tough time with the shake, pausing after every few sips. Somehow, they manage to suck it all down in 2:51.9, and once they get the ok, they run off to hurl.
Rachel & Todd are next, and Rach is actually looking forward to this. If that ring nonsense wasn’t bad enough, Todd should definitely be running now. They jump right into it and blaze through this without skipping a beat. They finish in a ridiculous time of 1:05.1. Todd comments that it tastes like Rach’s lasagna.
Jackson & Monica are up next, and they don’t look happy either. They jump right in and make pretty good time. Jackson has trouble with the shake, so she downs the majority of it. Is there anything that she can’t do? They finish slightly off the lead with a time of 1:13.2 and Jackson runs off to hurl.
Meg & Adam are up next, and get right to it. Meg half-asses the coin part and makes Adam get most of them. They move on to the shake and struggle through it, but are able to finish in 1:17.1
Tommie & Gina close this out. They move really fast through the coins, but have huge problems with the shake. They fight to keep down every sip, and the time ticks away. After about ¼ of the cup, they’ve had enough and decide to call it quits.
One couple needs to be sent home, and since there are 2 that did not finish, Joe informs the other couples that they will have to vote on who goes home. This takes them all by surprise. Tommie & Gina, in a really classy move, instruct the others to send them home, stating that Meghan & James deserve it because they drank more of the slop. They even offer to vote themselves out. The others oblige and vote for Meghan & James to stay. What a stand-up couple, it’s sad to see them go.
That’ll do it for this week’s installment. Be sure to tune in next week for round 3, where the claws come out as things start to get ugly. We’ll also get to see “the dunk tank from HELL”. I can’t wait.
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